Ghost Soda
(he him or they them)
I'm really anxious right now and I keep thinking I'll have a panic attack again
I'm really anxious right now and I keep thinking I'll have a panic attack again
Being a shy person and a procrastinator is the worst combo in existence. In my English class, we were supposed to work with a group, which were presumably kids we have worked in the past with. We were supposed to start a project in the computer lab. I figured if I got there first, I'd just sit down somewhere, so if they kids I thought were working with me sat next to me, I'd be in the clear. However, one of them were already there, so I panicked and sat alone. I don't believe the teacher noticed. I didn't do any work during that period. In fact, I put it off until tonight, and I just finished the project whole. I obviously didn't do that great, but that's not what I'm worried about. We need to present tomorrow. I have a huge phobia of presenting (both last year and the year before that, I broke down crying because I had to present the next class), and I will be the only person who worked alone. Everyone will either think that I thought I was superior to everyone else, that I could handle everything myself, that I'm a anti-social loser, or both. I'm screwed. I should have made note cards, but I don't have any and its one AM. I wish I was sick, I wish I could throw-up, just so I wouldn't have to go to school tomorrow.
Also, I wish I could just make friends. I don't know how to make them online or offline, and while I'm not friendless or too lonely, I just wish I wasn't afraid of people. I wish I knew what to say when some tries to strike conversation with me. orz
Lemme relate all over you :LBeing a shy person and a procrastinator is the worst combo in existence. In my English class, we were supposed to work with a group, which were presumably kids we have worked in the past with. We were supposed to start a project in the computer lab. I figured if I got there first, I'd just sit down somewhere, so if they kids I thought were working with me sat next to me, I'd be in the clear. However, one of them were already there, so I panicked and sat alone. I don't believe the teacher noticed. I didn't do any work during that period. In fact, I put it off until tonight, and I just finished the project whole. I obviously didn't do that great, but that's not what I'm worried about. We need to present tomorrow. I have a huge phobia of presenting (both last year and the year before that, I broke down crying because I had to present the next class), and I will be the only person who worked alone. Everyone will either think that I thought I was superior to everyone else, that I could handle everything myself, that I'm a anti-social loser, or both. I'm screwed. I should have made note cards, but I don't have any and its one AM. I wish I was sick, I wish I could throw-up, just so I wouldn't have to go to school tomorrow.
Plus I have a Spanish project I didn't complete, I don't need to present to the class yet but I was supposed to have it done to bring in, but of course I didn't.
Also, I wish I could just make friends. I don't know how to make them online or offline, and while I'm not friendless or too lonely, I just wish I wasn't afraid of people. I wish I knew what to say when some tries to strike conversation with me. orz
Basically, I feel like everything is going wrong and its all my fault.
I fell down a flight of stairs yesterday and broke my tailbone. Now I can't sit down and it'll take a few weeks to heal. Already sick of not being able to comfortably relax.
I've actually felt like this even before I got into my current relationship, which is over 8 months ago. I felt like this and still decided to get into a relationship with a guy. I probably should take a break from the relationship and see what happens, it's just very hard because he's a great guy and I do really like him. I just don't feel fulfilled due to that recurring feeling. >_<
i ate 7 of these dark chocolate cookies it feels like all my teeth are gonna fall out of my ass hole