My drug coverage runs out next week. So I am going to have to pay for my meds out of pocket starting next week until my insurance resumes in October. Until then I have to do this tedious process of submitting receipts to get a partial refund. My Thyroid medication refills run out next friday - I have an appointment booked with my doctor that that so hopefully she gives me refills. She wanted me to get blood work done, but by the time I went to get it done it had been 6 months since the form was printed (that was my fault). I would have done it sooner - in fact, I DID do it sooner, except they turned me down saying I fasted for too long and my body went into "starvation mode" and would skew the results. Very discouraging. At the time it was a new facility so they didn't have washrooms and I needed to give a urine sample, so they gave me the cup and wipes and told me to come back later with the sample. So I fasted for 14 hours exactly, brought the sample from home, only to be turned down again because it was 6 months ago that the form was filled out by my doctor. So they shredded the form, and got rid of the urine sample and never took my blood. I fasted for no reason.
I said something awhile back on mescaline trip that got my friend mad at me for some reason. It's starting to really bother me thinking back on it now. I guess there's no point in worrying about it now but I just can't help it I'd rather know what happened that night. Being a psychedelic drug does not help when you're trying to makes sense of things it's easy to get on different "levels" and cause a misunderstanding.
When you gain a follower on Tumblr only to find out it's one of those big corporations/companies whose Tumblr url actually leads to their official company website, so you're not even being followed by an actual single person, you're just mindlessly being followed by a company. Ugh. This is what I get for liking and reblogging cake and clothes.
I have to move in two days....
and I don't have the money to pay for my car this month...
i have to start paying student loans again in October (at least I only have $2k left on them, which isn't bad)...
I'm generally stressed and tired.
Omfg my supervisor is a total **** she thinks she can do whatever she wants and expect me to pick up her mess. Uhm hello a little warning would be nice ahead of time. Don't expect me to be there to do your work.
**** need a better job
It's my anniversary; I've been looking forward to it for ages and have been working really hard on his gifts.
Why aren't I excited anymore? It doesn't help I'm starting to feel distant/numb along with a depressive low instead of a manic and it's making me panic and I'm taking it to the: "What if you're not excited because you don't love him like you think you do? What if it doesn't last? Etc." It wasn't like this a couple days ago. Now I just feel scared and dumb because I don't know what to do with all of this.
In the 4 years of us being together, when did I turn into a broken machine of a human that can't even process basic emotions or thoughts or past experiences? I'm so messed up and I'mma ruin today. I'mma ruin everything.