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What's bothering you?

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my friend got his ap score back, but i don't know where to get mine. when i took an SAT subject test CollegeBoard emailed me with a link to my score, but this time i haven't received any emails.

i'm a little relieved though. i'm really scared to see it. if i didn't get a five i'll probably cry
 
I'll put this under a spoiler tag because there are mentions of anorexia.

I got an entire book series in pdf format that I was so happy about and when I told her how happy I was her response was completely unrelated and all she said was "I'm fat" and when I got upset and just about started crying she called me a b-tch. She has anorexia but I don't understand why she can't just talk to me? Why she can't reply to me? Why she requires me to tell her how skinny and perfect several times a day? She weighs under 130 pounds, and while I understand how much of a struggle an eating disorder poses, I want just one parent that isn't toxic to be around. I'm incredibly lonely and don't have a whole lot of people in my life that would CARE if I told them "oh hey I'm so happy today because (reason)". I can't talk to her at all about anything without her mentioning her weight, my weight, food, etc. I can't eat without her making comments on my food choices, and several times I've just gotten upset and thrown away what I was eating and didn't eat for a couple of days because I'm still recovering from an ED and she just won't leave me alone.
 
my friend got his ap score back, but i don't know where to get mine. when i took an SAT subject test CollegeBoard emailed me with a link to my score, but this time i haven't received any emails.

i'm a little relieved though. i'm really scared to see it. if i didn't get a five i'll probably cry

I know that struggle but you're better off just looking.

The same happened with me when I didn't do so well in a subject but because I only just failed, uni policy is that I was able to re-sit the exam. The second exam didn't feel that great and I was really worried that I had failed the subject for real. It took me a whole month after getting the email that the results were out to have the courage to look at my mark. I did end up passing though and I wondered why I was so silly about it.

Not looking isn't going to change the mark if you didn't get the score you wanted but taking responsibility looking will either relieve a lot of anxiety or give you a chance to accept the failure and work out what you're going to do to move on from it.
 
I know that struggle but you're better off just looking.

The same happened with me when I didn't do so well in a subject but because I only just failed, uni policy is that I was able to re-sit the exam. The second exam didn't feel that great and I was really worried that I had failed the subject for real. It took me a whole month after getting the email that the results were out to have the courage to look at my mark. I did end up passing though and I wondered why I was so silly about it.

Not looking isn't going to change the mark if you didn't get the score you wanted but taking responsibility looking will either relieve a lot of anxiety or give you a chance to accept the failure and work out what you're going to do to move on from it.

assdfghkl thank you for your advice ;o;! you're right of course, i really should look at it. i just feel like a lot is riding on me. my friend got a five, and i'm so scared that i didn't. i'd feel as if this ap was a waste of time since many colleges may not accept a five in order for you to receive credit. also my teacher kept telling me "if you don't get a five, Jillian, then nobody did." i know he was joking around, but it makes me feel really pressured.

i think i'll look at it tomorrow when my parents are awake. again thank you!
 
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assdfghkl thank you for your advice ;o;! you're right of course, i really should look at it. i just feel like a lot is riding on me. my friend got a five, and i'm so scared that i didn't. i'd feel as if this ap was a waste of time since many colleges may not accept a five in order for you to receive credit. also my teacher kept telling me "if you don't get a five, Jillian, then nobody did." i know he was joking around, but it makes me feel really pressured.

i think i'll look at it tomorrow when my parents are awake. again thank you!

Good luck! I know how much pressure it is! I had to be in the top 5% of the country to get into law. I did do it but even if I didn't, there were other ways I could have gotten in, it just would have taken some extra persistence :)
 
I feel silly for talking about this... but it's nice letting it out with relative anonymity. ~super long btw so I'll spoiler it~
~also I'm really young and it probably shows since this is silly and probably isn't really an important problem~
I'm thinking someone could swoop in and offer some genius bit of wisdom, but I don't expect advice, or even for anyone to read this unnecessary monolith of a sort-of rant.
Anyway, this male friend of mine most likely has some kind of crush on me, or at least feels a lot closer in our friendship than I expected, which I feel bad for not reciprocating. We've known each other for a long time (although he thought we were friends and I thought he hated me, ha) and through a mutual friend he got my number after moving 2ish years ago. (Note we haven't seen each other at all since then. That's partly why I feel this closeness thing is so sudden.)

Usually we only texted for short periods of time every few months, until I texted him a week ago to say Happy 4th of July. After talking all evening, then all day after that (I was using my phone all day so I was able to immediately reply, thus being able to talk all day without stopping), he's been texting me almost every day since. Not bad, he told me he wants to be friends, so it's understandable.

But then he's been randomly complimenting me (he's called me cute/adorable/beautiful/etc, some variation of those, more or less twice every time we talk). And he had this dream about kissing me. And he said stuff like "well it might've been better if it was real life /sarcasm". I'm getting this vibe from him that he keeps trying to hint at something, but it's hard to read someone over text. I may be over-reacting. Also all of this is out of nowhere when we haven't seen each other in years and have only been regularly talking for a week. (He initiates the conversations by the way, because I've gotten tired of texting everyday and don't feel like having another conversation through my phone. I feel bad not answering so even if it's short or lacks enthusiasm I still try to make a reply.)

I mean, we have a lot in common. But I...am just not interested in dating this kid, or really even a super close friendship. We live too far away to try being close. I don't like having daily conversations over text. Am I wrong for feeling like, I don't want a close friendship with someone who I get along very well with but who it will be hard to keep close to at such distance? Seeing each other would be hard enough even if we were best friends, since he's just far enough out of town that it would be hard meeting up even once every so often..

I feel stupid for worrying about this. But I value my friendships, and I always want to make sure my friends and I are on the same page. I want to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
tl;dr, male friend wants close friendship, I feel bad that I'm not sure I really want to be that close.


edit: and now that I see people talking about actual problems in the posts above me, I feel kind of stupid now for writing so much about something so little, ehehe... ^^;
 
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I feel silly for talking about this... but it's nice letting it out with relative anonymity. ~super long btw so I'll spoiler it~
~also I'm really young and it probably shows since this is silly and probably isn't really an important problem~
I'm thinking someone could swoop in and offer some genius bit of wisdom, but I don't expect advice, or even for anyone to read this unnecessary monolith of a sort-of rant.
Anyway, this male friend of mine most likely has some kind of crush on me, or at least feels a lot closer in our friendship than I expected, which I feel bad for not reciprocating. We've known each other for a long time (although he thought we were friends and I thought he hated me, ha) and through a mutual friend he got my number after moving 2ish years ago. (Note we haven't seen each other at all since then. That's partly why I feel this closeness thing is so sudden.)

Usually we only texted for short periods of time every few months, until I texted him a week ago to say Happy 4th of July. After talking all evening, then all day after that (I was using my phone all day so I was able to immediately reply, thus being able to talk all day without stopping), he's been texting me almost every day since. Not bad, he told me he wants to be friends, so it's understandable.

But then he's been randomly complimenting me (he's called me cute/adorable/beautiful/etc, some variation of those, more or less twice every time we talk). And he had this dream about kissing me. And he said stuff like "well it might've been better if it was real life /sarcasm". I'm getting this vibe from him that he keeps trying to hint at something, but it's hard to read someone over text. I may be over-reacting. Also all of this is out of nowhere when we haven't seen each other in years and have only been regularly talking for a week. (He initiates the conversations by the way, because I've gotten tired of texting everyday and don't feel like having another conversation through my phone. I feel bad not answering so even if it's short or lacks enthusiasm I still try to make a reply.)

I mean, we have a lot in common. But I...am just not interested in dating this kid, or really even a super close friendship. We live too far away to try being close. I don't like having daily conversations over text. Am I wrong for feeling like, I don't want a close friendship with someone who I get along very well with but who it will be hard to keep close to at such distance? Seeing each other would be hard enough even if we were best friends, since he's just far enough out of town that it would be hard meeting up even once every so often..

I feel stupid for worrying about this. But I value my friendships, and I always want to make sure my friends and I are on the same page. I want to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
tl;dr, male friend wants close friendship, I feel bad that I'm not sure I really want to be that close.

Okay 21 year old wisdom incoming... From my experience, it seems like this guy is mostly talking to you so much because he has a crush on you and wants to be more than friends. I think if you made it clear you didn't want to date him, he would most likely not talk to you so often. I'd say that he'd either talk you occasionally or if he's like a lot of guys I've encountered, stop contacting you all together.

Yeah, you need to make it clear you don't like him in that way or he will probably keep trying for a long time. Guys can be very persistent and some are also really bad at taking hints. If you want to let him down gently just tell him you don't want a long distance relationship.
 
What's bothering me right now: School goes back tomorrow for me, and I totally forgot about an assignment that's due...:rolleyes:.................................. *cries*

 
Okay 21 year old wisdom incoming... From my experience, it seems like this guy is mostly talking to you so much because he has a crush on you and wants to be more than friends. I think if you made it clear you didn't want to date him, he would most likely not talk to you so often. I'd say that he'd either talk you occasionally or if he's like a lot of guys I've encountered, stop contacting you all together.

Yeah, you need to make it clear you don't like him in that way or he will probably keep trying for a long time. Guys can be very persistent and some are also really bad at taking hints. If you want to let him down gently just tell him you don't want a long distance relationship.

Thank you for the response. :) That's what I was thinking, but then I wondered how someone could not physically see a friend in two years, talk to them every so often via text, then all of a sudden develop feelings after only a week of regular talking. I doubt he had feelings for me before he left, since he was in a relationship before and after leaving. It just seems so out of the blue.

I'll definitely look for an opportunity to make it clear that I'm not interested in anything, as honestly and directly as I can, since by nature I'm a very passive and indirect person.
 
i'm sick of being made to feel like i have to come out to my dad when 1) i hate him and 2) why should i have to come out, it's not a big deal
 
I have physical therapy tomorrow but I'm hurting a lot and I wasn't able to do the home exercises...
 
I have physical therapy tomorrow but I'm hurting a lot and I wasn't able to do the home exercises...

This is rough. I've been through it and I'm probably about to go back in myself for fluid buildup behind my kneecaps. I can't stand up after sitting for maybe 20 minutes because my legs will start shaking and I'll collapse. It's probably one of the worst pains I've ever felt before.
 
Feeling upset and like I need someone to talk to, but at the same time, the thing that's bothering me is really personal and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it.. Ugh.
 
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