Villagers being real friends, is this kind of pathetic?

[Spooky.]

I've been debating for a while now if I should make this thread or not, as the topic is kind of embarrassing. However, I don't know a better place than to ask and discuss this than here.
Just please don't laugh because I'm really in a bad place right now. Anyway...

Here's a kind of long-ish read about it in detail. I stuck a tl;dr version underneath, though I think reading this (if it's not too much trouble) might help to understand where I'm coming from.

Spoiler

My whole life I've never had many friends, and now, at my age, I have maybe...one person I could actually consider a friend. Otherwise I'm consistently ignored by everybody, despite how often I try to reach out to people. I have spent a lot of time and effort to make real friends, but that's not so much the point, so please don't just suggest I try harder to make friends. It's not that easy for me. My main concern is my reliance on new leaf to feel like I have actual friends.

I've found that, especially lately, I've been playing new leaf more and more to the point where I feel like I'm bordering obsession. Why? Because my villagers talk to me, compliment me, worry about me, give me cute nicknames, visit me, send me letters, worry when I don't play for a long time, and give me presents just because they want to or think I'd like it.

In the back of my mind I know that the things villagers say are just random lines generated by the game that are said to anyone who plays. I also know that these virtual worlds are not reality and at my age I shouldn't be like this. I've considered that it's possible something is really wrong with me, as I do have a history of mental illness (depression, anxiety, possibly others.)

However, after being so lonely for so long, I've found that I start to cling on to those little kind clips because it's the only time I ever feel like I'm worth anything at all. People I talk to never compliment me. Nobody worries if I'm working too hard and I look tired. Nobody ever thinks of me or just gives me a nice little thing because they thought of me. Even my family doesn't treat me like that, though they expect me to treat them that way. In fact, most people in my life are generally hostile to me and get angry at me for being depressed when 'other people have it worse.' I have no positive force in my life.

There were times I've been lonely to the point I'd sit here trying not to cry, and I'd hop on my game only to have a villager pass me a compliment or send me a letter saying they thought about me and turn my mood around. It's like a comforting, real friend that I don't have. When I'm feeling depressed during the day, I know that if I turn on my game and play one of my towns, my villagers will be really sweet to me and make me feel better. I have nobody at all who is like that in reality. Nobody likes me, period.

I'm just unsure if I should be concerned or not about so heavily relying on a video game to make me feel better about myself or feel like I'm worth anything.

tl;dr
Is it pathetic to consider my villagers my friends? Like real, actual friends?
If not pathetic, should I at least be concerned that I've come to rely on my villagers to validate my existing?

 

[Mariah]

It sounds really pathetic. I don't think you should be telling people this.

 

[Blueskyy]

Huggy and Aurora were my favorite friends in the Gamecube game. I thought they were good friends. I always liked my friends that I hung out with on my street more though, since they were real lol. It's not pathetic though.

 

[Kittyinpink87]

Nah i don't think so.
If they make you happy thats good enough.

 

[Blueskyy]

It sounds really pathetic. I don't think you should be telling people this.

Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum. While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you. For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish. Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.

 

[Spooky.]

Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum. While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you. For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish. Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.

I was debating on if I wanted to reply to that or not because I wasn't sure if it's just because I'm really sensitive right now or if it really was kind of rude. I did ask for opinions on if it was or wasn't pathetic, and it's alright if they think so but it would be nice to know why.

I'd really, really like to have friends I connect with in reality and I've tried and I'm still trying. I haven't yet given up trying. Still, for now at least, my villagers are at least nice to me and cheer me up.

 

[Blueskyy]

I was debating on if I wanted to reply to that or not because I wasn't sure if it's just because I'm really sensitive right now or if it really was kind of rude. I did ask for opinions on if it was or wasn't pathetic, and it's alright if they think so but it would be nice to know why.

I'd really, really like to have friends I connect with in reality and I've tried and I'm still trying. I haven't yet given up trying. Still, for now at least, my villagers are at least nice to me and cheer me up.

It was absolutely a rude post. Don't let people treat you like that. I grew up a shy kid, but now I teach 2nd graders so I can't be shy really (at least to them. I am outgoing to my team but still hate public speaking to adults). I have spent time sitting alone at lunch tables when my lifelong friends didn't have my lunch in middle school. I hated middle school though. High school was easier since I did band and NHS and met fun people. I'm going to meet up with my lifelong friends (the friends that lived on my street in elementary school) this Winter break! One is even engaged to her girlfriend and I'm so excited to celebrate with her! I also understand why this game is therapeutic as well. Please don't let people disrespect you like the one poster did. You're worth more than that.

 

[SarahBearah]

I don't know if people would understand your connection with the villagers, but all of us know where you're coming from, and a lot of us have strong connections to our villagers. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed about it, but I wouldn't start a conversation talking about them.

 

[Mariah]

Wow that's the harshest thing I think I've seen on this forum. While I'd agree I prefer human interaction with my lifelong friends, I still can't deny that some villagers can create a connection with you. For me, thought, it's more like they're a cute pet since my only pets growing up were goldfish. Namstar don't feel bad for how you look at your villagers.

I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?

 

[Blueskyy]

I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?

I guess I saw you as a troll at first. If it is your vaild opinion, I can't argue with that. I just want the OP to know that they have people they can turn to because I do get it. In the same sense, I did consider your post rude and I won't filter my opinion, but it is how you feel and I can't influence your opinion as well.

 

[Spooky.]

It was absoltely a rude post. Don't let people treat you like that. I grew up a shy kid, but now I teach 2nd graders so I can't be shy really (at least to them). I have spent time sitting alone at lunch tables when my lifelong friends didn't have my lunch in middle school. I hated middle school though. High school was easier since I did band and NHS. I'm going to meet up with my lifelong friends (the friends that lived on my street in elementary school) this Winter break! I also understand why this game is therapudic as well. Please don't let people disrespect you like the one poster did. You're worth more than that.

I was never really shy when I was little, and maybe that was a part of my problem, but I was bullied throughout school since fourth grade all the way until I graduated high school. Most of the friends I did make I couldn't keep because they didn't want to really associate with someone who was picked on a lot, since it would make them a potential target as well. It's a real bummer because I've always tried to be really nice to everyone, I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. Still, I was relentlessly bullied. I should have a tough skin by now but I don't. In fact I'm more sensitive than most people my age are. But that's another problem.

Thank you though, I see you around a lot and you're always nice to people. I needed the support.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever, but I really do think it's pathetic to consider a video game character to be your friend. She asked a question and I responded with how I felt. What's the point of asking a question in a thread if you don't want responses from both sides?

I think it was the way you said it more than anything. It's fine if you feel that way, and yeah, I did ask. I don't see what's wrong with me telling people about it, as everyone I've met on these forums have been really nice to me and understanding so I felt like it was alright to open up a bit and see if maybe someone else had a similar experience or felt the same way. Sometimes it takes one person mentioning a topic that's kind of embarrassing (which I admitted) to get someone else to not feel so alone if they're going through the same thing but are afraid to talk about it for fear of being harshly judged.

 

[Blueskyy]

I was never really shy when I was little, and maybe that was a part of my problem, but I was bullied throughout school since fourth grade all the way until I graduated high school. Most of the friends I did make I couldn't keep because they didn't want to really associate with someone who was picked on a lot, since it would make them a potential target as well. It's a real bummer because I've always tried to be really nice to everyone, I was quiet and didn't cause trouble. Still, I was relentlessly bullied. I should have a tough skin by now but I don't. In fact I'm more sensitive than most people my age are. But that's another problem.

Thank you though, I see you around a lot and you're always nice to people. I needed the support.

Well I just want you to know that while I'm not a virtual animal, I'm a real guy and I understand you and am here if you ever want to talk and have a friend We are a community here after all!

 

[Spooky.]

I don't know if people would understand your connection with the villagers, but all of us know where you're coming from, and a lot of us have strong connections to our villagers. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed about it, but I wouldn't start a conversation talking about them.

I rarely, if ever talk about this to people. This was the first time I've really even opened up about it to anyone because I wasn't sure how it would make me look. I've just been having a rough time and wanted to get this off my chest to people who might understand, as we're all AC fans here.

 

[Kittyinpink87]

Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not.
I love the game so i have no shame saying that.

 

[Blueskyy]

Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not.
I love the game so i have no shame saying that.

Thank you for having no shame! I saw my 12 year old cousin tonight and we share a connection through this game. He asked me if I had the reset center or police station yet since I started wayyyyy later than he did with this game (although I was playing AC a year before he was born XD). Namstar, don't ever be ashamed. Take pride in what makes you happy. The people here who support you are what matters.

 

[Spooky.]

Yeah. I'm always telling my husband what funny things villagers told me or what not.
I love the game so i have no shame saying that.

I do talk about the game to people but in the same way I'd talk about any game I play. I work with little kids and a lot of them play games and like to talk about stuff like animal crossing with me. Sometimes they even ask me how to do stuff, which is pretty cool. That and Pokemon. I'm constantly asked Pokemon questions. At least I'm useful for that haha.

 

[Kittyinpink87]

Thank you for having no shame! I saw my 12 year old cousin tonight and we share a connection through this game. He asked me if I had the reset center or police station yet since I started wayyyyy later than he did with this game (although I was playing AC a year before he was born XD). Namstar, don't ever be ashamed. Take pride in what makes you happy. The people here who support you are what matters.

Yeah!! While not trying to get off topic. I don't care if other women ever look at me weird for playing my 3ds in public. It makes me happy , and whatever makes you happy as long as its not hurting others is all that really matters!

 

[Shay10]

Villagers are great friends!! You should still keep trying to make friends in real life, don't give up!!! it's also ok to have attachments to villagers, i know i'm pretty attached to puddles! I can honestly say that my villagers make me happy after a hard day at college and i'm too tired to do anything else . I have real friends, but i sometimes prefer my villagers because as you say they are for the most part friendly and caring. Just be careful with how much you depend on your villagers or people, don't always rely on them to cheer you up. You need to work on cheering yourself up by doing things that make you feel fufilled, for me it's helping people and making music. Do some soul searching to see what really makes you smile and feel good Also!!!! Ignore the rude ass hat!!!!!

 

[starlightsong]

Honestly? No you shouldn't be so dependent on them, that's maybe a bit unhealthy, but it's certainly not unusual to consider fictional characters friends and feel close connections with them
For example I feel so stupidly close to Riku from Kingdom Hearts it's not funny; thinking about his experiences and how things have worked for him, it makes me feel better about myself and I wish he was real so we could be friends and I could have someone understand me. I could talk about Riku for hours, like he's a friend, even though I know he's literally just pixels and data. Is that
pathetic? Maybe. But it makes me happy and gives me hope for myself.
So hey, if considering the villagers your friends makes you happy then you do you! But at the same time, I hope you can find someone else on the internet or in real life that you can be friends with! <3

 

[gem83]

I guess it really depends. I've been in your situation before, and I still really only have 3 or 4 friends, 2 very close ones (only one of which is IRL) but I have a thicker skin than most so idk. If it were me, I'd probably consider myself pathetic lmao but you and I are different people, so I can't make that judgment.