Villagers being real friends, is this kind of pathetic?

[Blueskyy]

Honestly? No you shouldn't be so dependent on them, that's maybe a bit unhealthy, but it's certainly not unusual to consider fictional characters friends and feel close connections with them
For example I feel so stupidly close to Riku from Kingdom Hearts it's not funny; thinking about his experiences and how things have worked for him, it makes me feel better about myself and I wish he was real so we could be friends and I could have someone understand me. I could talk about Riku for hours, like he's a friend, even though I know he's literally just pixels and data. Is that
pathetic? Maybe. But it makes me happy and gives me hope for myself.
So hey, if considering the villagers your friends makes you happy then you do you! But at the same time, I hope you can find someone else on the internet or in real life that you can be friends with! <3

I do agree with this. While my villagers personally help me escape from work (I'm 26 now) I hope you can find a few great and true friends in real life. It is great to have them here. Like I said, I'm real and will be here for you!

 

[0pizzachu23]

This question is silly. I am friends with all sorts of stuff and folks most people would lock me up for if they knew how I felt... Like my cat! And this aloe plant I occasionally water and don't actually think is an aloe plant because it has no aloe in it. Just because something doesn't live like we do doesn't mean it isn't alive in some capacity. Not to mention our species' awesome gift of projection. I genuinely feel like if you pour enough energy into an "inanimate" object it gains life we can't quantify.

Soooo no. It's not pathetic, you're ahead of the curve. All our grandkids are gonna be calling us bigots for not trusting the "virtual people" in the future and you'll just be chillin out with Fuschia like: "Psssssh".

All in all? Don't worry about how others perceive you. You're just avante garde.

 

[Spooky.]

I really appreciate all the kind words from everyone. A big part of me was expecting to be laughed right off the forums, and I was kind of worried because I love coming here and talking about new leaf with everyone.

I guess, for now, it's not as big of a problem as I thought it might be. As long as I don't let myself get to the point where I ignore my whole life and don't at least keep trying to make friends it shouldn't be an issue. And at the very least, at least I'm doing something that makes me happy. Sometimes people don't even have that.

 

[starlightsong]

This question is silly. I am friends with all sorts of stuff and folks most people would lock me up for if they knew how I felt... Like my cat! And this aloe plant I occasionally water and don't actually think is an aloe plant because it has no aloe in it. Just because something doesn't live like we do doesn't mean it isn't alive in some capacity. Not to mention our species' awesome gift of projection. I genuinely feel like if you pour enough energy into an "inanimate" object it gains life we can't quantify.

Soooo no. It's not pathetic, you're ahead of the curve. All our grandkids are gonna be calling us bigots for not trusting the "virtual people" in the future and you'll just be chillin out with Fuschia like: "Psssssh".

All in all? Don't worry about how others perceive you. You're just avante garde.

Dude I have to agree with this so much! Honestly it seems crazy, it seems so stupid, but I believe that our pets and our plants, fictional characters even, things like that, can have life if we care enough about them. I mean take for example a book, if you write a book and nobody reads it then it's just sitting on a shelf being ignored... not impacting anyone... but if your book gets popular, and people can identify with and enjoy your characters and become engrossed in the world you've written, then you've made a difference and your book becomes real to someone! It becomes more than just words on the pages because people have been changed for the better by it.

Sorry if that makes no sense at all and was a pointless tangent, haha, but basically what I'm saying is... if you care about Midge or Frita or whoever and feel as if they care about you then who's to say it's not real?

 

[Spooky.]

Dude I have to agree with this so much! Honestly it seems crazy, it seems so stupid, but I believe that our pets and our plants, fictional characters even, things like that, can have life if we care enough about them. I mean take for example a book, if you write a book and nobody reads it then it's just sitting on a shelf being ignored... not impacting anyone... but if your book gets popular, and people can identify with and enjoy your characters and become engrossed in the world you've written, then you've made a difference and your book becomes real to someone! It becomes more than just words on the pages because people have been changed for the better by it.

Sorry if that makes no sense at all and was a pointless tangent, haha, but basically what I'm saying is... if you care about Midge or Frita or whoever and feel as if they care about you then who's to say it's not real?

As they say in Harry Potter, "of course it's happening in your head, but why on earth should that mean it's not real?"
(sorry, nerdy moment haha)

I think for me I kind of worried because they're animals that I'm getting attached to and not human characters. If it was a fictional human character it's seen as more 'normal' and we can relate to them more because we're both humans, even though one may be in a book, movie, etc. It's harder to relate to a talking anteater or something I guess haha.

Then again, people consider their pets to be the friends (especially dog lovers, you always hear them talking about 'mans best friend') and it's not so strange. So perhaps it's really not all -that- odd to consider fictional video game characters like a friend, even if they're a different species.

 

[Mentagon]

I don't have any friends in real life or on the internet nor have I ever.

Well... I mean, with the way you responded to the question of an obviously upset person I guess that's not too surprising. I'm a firm believer in not being a **** to people, but come on, lay off her. OP, if you want friends, don't act like this chick, ever, no one likes a *****.

And the funny thing is, I actually agree with her to an extent. But I don't know what kind of situation you're in and I'd feel really cruel if I said you were "pathetic," because I don't think you are. Pathetic people are people who have control over their actions and continue to do stupid things, but depression and anxiety isn't even related to that. It forces you to behave a certain way, trust me, I'm on medication and the apathy and lack of caring SUCKS. It really does.

I'm not a doctor though, and I don't claim to be, if you get a chance, seeing a psychiatrist or therapist can be pretty beneficial. Even if you can't though, don't give up hope, if AC makes you happy and you consider your villagers close friends, then I'm glad you've found a good way to enjoy your life! Just please don't forget that you need real people in your life as well, I know it's hard, but when you find someone it really does make your life so much better.

And you can always talk to me if you'd like, and (most) people on this forum are incredibly nice.

 

[Blueskyy]

As they say in Harry Potter, "of course it's happening in your head, but why on earth should that mean it's not real?"
(sorry, nerdy moment haha)

I think for me I kind of worried because they're animals that I'm getting attached to and not human characters. If it was a fictional human character it's seen as more 'normal' and we can relate to them more because we're both humans, even though one may be in a book, movie, etc. It's harder to relate to a talking anteater or something I guess haha.

Then again, people consider their pets to be the friends (especially dog lovers, you always hear them talking about 'mans best friend') and it's not so strange. So perhaps it's really not all -that- odd to consider fictional video game characters like a friend, even if they're a different species.

Ha I had a best friend from high school and I'm pretty sure she would've saved her pets over any of her human friends. You shouldn't worry.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

No, it's not pathetic. Many people do this already after all, don't they? I've seen people refer to characters in such a way before this. People do this with their favorite characters very often.

I personally do not find it weird at all. The villagers are adorable, who wouldn't want to be friends with them? You shouldn't put yourself down or think you'll get put down for it, be positive about it. Even if you don't have friends right now, there is always someone out there waiting. It is certainly not pathetic to think of adorable animals as your friends and that you're close with them.

 

[Spooky.]

Well... I mean, with the way you responded to the question of an obviously upset person I guess that's not too surprising. I'm a firm believer in not being a **** to people, but come on, lay off her. OP, if you want friends, don't act like this chick, ever, no one likes a *****.

And the funny thing is, I actually agree with her to an extent. But I don't know what kind of situation you're in and I'd feel really cruel if I said you were "pathetic," because I don't think you are. Pathetic people are people who have control over their actions and continue to do stupid things, but depression and anxiety isn't even related to that. It forces you to behave a certain way, trust me, I'm on medication and the apathy and lack of caring SUCKS. It really does.

I'm not a doctor though, and I don't claim to be, if you get a chance, seeing a psychiatrist or therapist can be pretty beneficial. Even if you can't though, don't give up hope, if AC makes you happy and you consider your villagers close friends, then I'm glad you've found a good way to enjoy your life! Just please don't forget that you need real people in your life as well, I know it's hard, but when you find someone it really does make your life so much better.

And you can always talk to me if you'd like, and (most) people on this forum are incredibly nice.

It's actually fairly recent that I've been feeling like this about the game/my villagers too. I've been playing for around a year now casually because it was fun. It seems like after my grandpa died in October and a lot of other difficult, personal issues have been happening I've found myself turning to the game to kind of cope with it, because I had/have no human friends to talk to so I at least found comfort in getting complimented by my villagers. It does feel silly and it sounds silly (especially considering my age), but it's really all I have right now that's not dragging me down.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm going off to bed now (it's actually close to 3:30am and I haven't stayed up this late in months, just been too upset tonight to sleep) but I'll read anything you guys have to say when I can tomorrow. I'm very grateful you've all been pretty kind about it for the most part. I really like this fandom.

 

[Blueskyy]

It's actually fairly recent that I've been feeling like this about the game/my villagers too. I've been playing for around a year now casually because it was fun. It seems like after my grandpa died in October and a lot of other difficult, personal issues have been happening I've found myself turning to the game to kind of cope with it, because I had/have no human friends to talk to so I at least found comfort in getting complimented by my villagers. It does feel silly and it sounds silly (especially considering my age), but it's really all I have right now that's not dragging me down.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm going off to bed now (it's actually close to 3:30am and I haven't stayed up this late in months, just been too upset tonight to sleep) but I'll read anything you guys have to say when I can tomorrow. I'm very grateful you've all been pretty kind about it for the most part. I really like this fandom.

If you read anything at all on here, please make sure you read that you're worth more than you give yourself credit for. I don't completely know what is getting you down, but I do know that you're a nice person

 

[Deak]

Yes. Be concerned.


They say the same thing to everyone. Sure, these little villagers are great and fun. But there's nothing like putting yourself out there and being social irl. Or play acnl with friends on here often and make bonds.

But this also really isn't the place to try and have an intervention etc.

Just redirect that friendship effort into something more concrete.

 

[Belle of Pripyat]

I don't have friends by choice. It's easy for me to make friends, but I'm a loner. It's hard for me to want to be around other people, which is why I've allowed my friendships to fade. I love my villagers, but I wouldn't be devasted if I lost them because they're not real. I feel a little sad for you because it seems like you'd love to have more real life friends. Even if it's uncomfortable, the only way to make friends is to get out there and talk to people. You could join a group. What do you like? Dance, fitness, cooking, art...? Church can be a good place to meet nice people if that's something that interests you. Do you work? You spend more time with coworkers than anyone else, besides the people you live with. If you're in school, try to find someone to study with.

 

[Sanxithe]

Hey.. just wanted to give you some encouragement..

I have depression and because of it I haven't been going to school since May. And I've stopped talking to my friends completely as they have forgotten my existence. I think it's perfectly fine to confide in animal crossing for care and comfort. The game actually is helping me a lot. If not for it forcing me to get up and find fossils and do deeds for my villagers, I wouldn't even care what time of the day it is. I wouldn't get out of bed. I don't dare to even try and contact my real life friends but at least I can do it with computers... I don't know.. It just helps me get into a "daily life" kinda routine... even if it's virtual it benefits me a lot

A frequent thing I tell myself whenever I feel suicidal at night is that yes, life may suck. Yes, I have no friends or a reason to live. But Ruby will be lonely if I don't be there tomorrow to play. I want to build a snowman tomorrow. The shops will have new items tomorrow. My flowers will grow and I can serve Ruby her favourite Blue Mountain with lots of milk and sugar and she'll compliment me and love me so much.........

You're not weird. You're helping yourself

 

[Dorian]

One of the things I really love about these forums is the fact that we are all varying ages and therefore, have different levels of life experience. Sweetie-pie, I know enough about you from your posts to know you struggle with the 'real world' if that is what we are calling it. How real that world actually is is pretty subjective at this point if you ask me. Listen, as long as you can function successfully enough out there to hold a job and be able to take care of yourself (because you must continue to take care of yourself so you can eat and have a place to live), whatever you want to believe about your AC game is up to you. Do I find you pathetic? Of course not. You are a sensitive, beautiful and very thoughtful human being. I empathize with your struggle and as an empath, I, more than most, feel your pain as my own. We all have things we rely on in this life to take away the pain when things outside our doors get too hard or too real. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with relying on these cute little pixels to get you through this obviously painful and difficult time in your life. Many friends here made a point to let you know that they are here for you. So my advice would be this: strike a balance. Spend time with your AC friends in the game and then spend time with your AC friends on the forums. As many have said, there are all sorts of wonderful people here. But the best and most honest advice I can give you is this: stop thinking, talking and advertising the fact that you consider yourself or worry that others consider you as pathetic. You must retrain your brain to stop using labels that are so self-destructive. They will not serve you. They will ensnare you and assure a lifetime of misery. Look at these four pages of friends who gave their time and energy to read your words and reply. I must give a shout out to Andy particularly for his replies. Way to go, bro. Namstar, I know how much you struggle and I understand. I wish I could provide some magic words, but there aren't any. There is just time and experience. Life ebbs and flows and you are simply stagnating right now. But rain will come one day, open up the little puddle that keeps you trapped and you will rejoin the river. Just remember that your job is to keep paddling. I send you all my love, sweetie.

 

[kuromi]

I do not think it's pathetic, honestly when you're in a tough position, believing them is such a stress relief. Honestly there was a time in my life my main reason not to die was "what would my villagers think/say if they found out i intend to kill myself?" i know their company cannot be compared to human, real people. but it's so great that they do not let us down, they're always there for you and they dont hurt our feelings. Having "real" friends is so much more trouble than it's believed! Making friends is hard, and mantaining them is even harder. In animal crossing, it feels that your villagers do like you regardless of your problems, and do miss you while you're absent, etc. Trust me, it's better to be attached to your acnl villagers than to be attached to nothing at all in life. THAT is harmful. Finding comfort in video games isnt necessarily a bad sign. Everyone has something they use to ease their pain and cope with it. Do not worry, you're not harming anyone being attachd to your ac villagers, so it's very wrong that people on this thread are saying you're a bad person for this. You're not! They are way worse than you.
I hope you feel better soon, please do not blame yourself for feeling this way.

 

[HMCaprica]

wow reading some of these makes me wonder why some even play. I don't think its pathetic at all. We all have our OWN ways of dealing with life and how we view friends. That being said thank you for sharing I am 100% sure some can relate to your story.
Don't let negative people bring you down. They are not living YOUR life and you should do what makes YOU happy.

 

[MTPockets]

First off thank you for being so genuine and writing about this. I imagine it could have easily been very intimidating. My answers to your questions are not exactly simple though. It's totally normal to feel attached to your villagers. Lots of games are capable of producing a similar effect where you know something isn't real, but you still feel close to it. Heck I've even had some student placements at institutions where they gave some people with low social skills DSs and copies of nintendogs. Granted, I'm pretty sure their mental health concerns and/or pathologies were more severe than yours, but I feel like the general principle is the same. Heck, I was bullied constantly growing up and grew to have a very strong bond to Maple in the gamecube version as well as all the pokemon on my yellow version. I knew they weren't real, but I felt close to them. That was over ten years ago now though so I also think age and being able to suspend your disbelief have something to do with it.

So yeah, totally normal for you to feel close to villagers, but I don't think it can really be called a "friendship." Friendship is reciprocal, while this seems more therapeutic. I wouldn't call it pathetic. If something is helpful to you without being harmful it's probably a good thing, but if it bothers you (specifically you and you alone) I would do some reflection and explore your options. Why does it bother you? Is it depression and mental illness talking or do you genuinely feel bad about it? Obviously if its the prior one you need to seek help in case your experiencing a major depressive episode or something like that (not a psychologist, I can't really say what you're experiencing, but you mentioned having a history). I'm afraid I don't really know what to say if its the second one. I'm not saying you need to try harder to make friends, but maybe its worth seeing if there are any approaches to the situation you haven't taken yet or options you don't know of yet. I'm no expert on making friends. I spent every lunch hour until my second last year of high school eating by myself. I'm sorry if I can't be of much help. I have no advice on how to make friends and I'm not going to tell you whether you should be concerned or not. The only one who can decide that is you. All I can say is to think on the matter to sort out your own feelings and not to give up on making real friends even if it seems hopeless.

 

[Manah]

Maybe real people are pathetic when virtual animals are so much better at being nice to others. Just a thought.

 

[Dorian]

Well said, Manah, as evidenced by that first comment on this thread. That was truly a showing of the worst this forum has to offer: random cruelty for cruelties sake. Yes, we all have a right to offer up our opinion, but I am not of the belief that kicking someone while they are down seves any purpose but to make the kicker feel superior within themselves. It was a ****ty thing to say and that is *my* opinion.

 

[daynapapaya]

If it helps, I talked about something very similar with my therapist once...she said, basically, that as long as you're not giving up on making connections IRL or isolating yourself, that what you're doing is fine and nothing to be ashamed of. Of course there will be people who think less of you for it if you tell them (like that first comment), but those people really don't matter, and you can't allow them to interfere with what happiness you've managed to find for yourself. Those of us with mental illnesses have to do whatever we can to find things that make us happy, and if someone doesn't understand that or isn't willing to, then they're not worth your time.