The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

You know, Smithers, I think I’ll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage… when pigs fly.

*they both start laughing, but then a pig actually does fly past*

…will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?

No, I’d still prefer not.

 

[Midoriya]

"If I don't steal North Korea's nuclear launch codes, it could mean World War III!"

*gets trapped in cage*

"Ah!"

"Well, well, well... have I caught the great Kim Possible, or am I just KIMagining things???"

"Kim Jong Un... war is not the answer!"

"How do you like my security system? I've made certain KIMprovements..."

*trap door opens and a crocodile comes out*

"You're a madman!"

"You are KIMprisoned!"

"Stop mocking my name!"

"KIMitation is the sincerest form of flattery!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’ve asked Ann from Accounting to join us today.”
*Loud Howard begins to sneeze*
“Fire in the hole!”
*Everyone but Ann and Howard duck under the table for cover*
“I think everyone is overreacting just-”
*Loud Howard sneezes and reduces Ann to a skeleton *
“OH GREAT. WATCH ME GET THE BLAME FOR THIS.”

 

[Mr.Fox]

Milpool~~

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Whoo-hoo, I'm a college man, I won't need my college diploma anymore!
I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T, uh, I mean, "S-M-A-R-T"!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Marge, since I’m not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Bart, tell Dad I’ll only pass the syrup if it won’t be used on any meat product.

You dunking your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?

Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Tell him yourself. You’re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Homer, you’re not not talking to me, and secondly, I heard what you said.

Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Dad, Lisa’s the one you’re not talking to.

Bart, go to your room!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well, Girls, it looks like Mr Wednesday learned a very important lesson today.”
“That education is just the realization of our own ignorance?”
“Noooo! Never turn your back during a dodgeball game!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I love today! It’s my birthday! YAY!”
“IT’S MY LIFE! YOU’RE ENDING IT!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I can’t do this. There’s something you need to know. I’m leaving you for Sandra.”
“What?!”
“What?!”
“Oooo Calvin! Come see this!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Lisa, I was looking for you. I wanted to apologize. I don’t know exactly what went wrong but I know it’s always my fault.

Actually, Dad, this time, I was wrong.

*gasps*

Too.

Aw.

 

[QueenCobra]

“I don't care. Anything. I would rather... I would rather watch ‘Beautician and the Beast’. I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothing against him, but if I hear ‘Yah Mo B There’ one more time, I'm going to ‘Yah Mo’ burn this place to the ground.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Dad, Mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.

 

[Midoriya]

"That's it! We're all out of soldiers and Russia is STILL advancing! What do we do?"

"...Send in the Super Hero Squad..."

*one of the generals looks at the other with a confused face and the other does the crazy motion next to his ears*

*All of a sudden Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and everyone else shows up on the battlefield and begins blowing up Russian tanks and soldiers*

"SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! Putin is up in tears, all the Russians are in fear, when Iron Man joins the FIGHT! He's also got an Incredible Hulk on his siiiiiiiiide. Thor saves the day, the Super Hero Squad, they'll save the day... again...."

*the last of the Russian forces are taken out*

"SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! SUPER HERO SQUAD, HERO UP! SUPER HERO SQUAD!"

Putin: "I hate those troublesome squaddies!"

"DUN!"

"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked!" *the generals high-five each other*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You guys, someone just used critical thinking and basic physics to destroy their first entire religion!"

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘I only got in trouble once, and uh, Daddy Elfo, um…slapped me on the bumbum.’

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“HA Who?”

 

[Yoshi155]

You sneak around and save the world. The end! My God, can I get a replacement guest with a simple plot, please?

Hi, I’m Sora from Kingdom Hearts!

NooooOOOOOO!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What are you going to do to me? I already turn into animals.”
*Mumbo Jumbo turns Beast Boy into various animals and he keeps turning back to normal*
“Hmmmmm. You have a good point.”
*Turns Beast Boy into a lamp*

 

[rocketspruggs]

"What the Hello Kitty? Tire spikes? Oh, they blocked my shortcut. I'm trapped, like the, "L", in, "BLT"."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I do not know all of your Earth customs yet but that was weird, right?”