The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

What the hell were you doing? I warned you to stay away from those guys.

I’m capable of making my own decisions, Leela. Did you ever stop to think I might be happier with gills?

 

[-Blue-]

I'm a leg, Morty! You like that? Yeah, I know you do.
We already saw that one.
No, that's the other time I did it.
That was your Hail Mary? Boo! Boooo! That was mid! Boo! I hereby find Rick and Morty guilty! Time to die!

 

[QueenCobra]

“I'm a Gemini, so that's really a threesome.”

 

[Yoshi155]

I guess it’s obvious what happened here. Bart Simpson has somehow managed to sneak his bedroom into my house.

*everyone stares at him blankly*

(continued) Well, come on! Use your imaginations!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Alright, come on, Colander Jim. We gotta solve some crimes, and not the ones I've been committing."

 

[QueenCobra]

“Is a manslaughter a killer?”

 

[Yoshi155]

I don’t know what you’re doing, but you should be ashamed of it!

 

[Croconaw]

“Friends are a lot like zits. I don’t have any, I don’t want any, and I don’t wanna see other people having them.”

I don’t necessarily agree with this. I just find it hilarious.

 

[Yoshi155]

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a perfectly legitimate reason!

That’s not a joke, that’s a sentence.

 

[Yoshi155]

I think you’re being a little presumptuous telling me how to raise my son!

You know what else is presumptuous? Your face!

You don’t know what presumptuous means, do you?

 

[Yoshi155]

We got a friend request!

Who is it? *looks* Aw, man, it’s from Hector.

What should we do? If we say yes, he’ll get excited and trash the town. If we say no, he’ll get sad and trash the town.

Don’t worry. I know exactly what to do.

*pulls out a hammer and proceeds to smash the computer screen*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I can't stand to see him like this... I'll push him off the roof."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well, he’s dead. Now let’s get out of this disgusting corpse.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Father!”
*Fly swatter squashes worm*
”Pesky bee.”

Post automatically merged: Jan 30, 2024

“Where did you get this game?”
“We certainly didn’t invent it!”
“I never said you did….”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Look, we’ve got the general idea. Families are nice. You’ve got a bigger house than us. But we really must get going….”

 

[Yoshi155]

Dentist office.

Oh, hello, Dr. Roberts? It’s Ms. Cartman.

Ah, yes, Ms. Cartman, what can I do for you?

Well, it’s my son. He’s lost a lot of his baby teeth, and I was starting to get worried.

Well, losing baby teeth is a natural thing, Ms. Cartman. How many has he lost?

About 112.

 

[QueenCobra]

“I’m a good Christian woman, honey. Because you picked the right time to flaunt your foolishness in front of all of my friends, fans, family, and folks at home. The absolute nerve; I’m a teacher and a mentor.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"We believe he's building weapons of mass destruction... In Heaven."

"Dear Christ, that son of a ***** just doesn't stop!"

"These surveillance photos were taken atop the ladder of what appears to be Heaven. Here we see what we believe to be a missile silo. And here we see what looks like a laboratory of some sort for making chemical weapons."

"That... Kinda looks like a seagull."

"Yes. It could be a laboratory disguised as a seagull."

"That tricky *******!"

 

[Yoshi155]

You’d better not be in my closet when I go to bed tonight.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Here he is, boys. Our dear little Kenny."

[An urn with Kenny's picture beside it is shown.]

"...You turned him into a teapot?"