The out of context quotes thread

[junebuggy.99]

"hey can we go on land?"

"No"

"why?"

"the sun is a deadly lazer"

"oh okay."

"not anymore, there's a blanket!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Just admit it. I'm a great speller, and it burns you."

"You're not a great speller! You've got to spell right to be a speller."

"So if a guy hits a home run, but he's fat, it's not a home run? It has to be perfect? What's the point?!"

"NO, THAT IS THE POINT! THAT IS SPELLING!"

 

[Yoshi155]

As our town continues to burn to the ground, Satan has been slaughtered and sent to Heaven. Should we start to worry? Joining me now, an expert on our county resources and preparedness, Alec Vaughn. Alec, should we start to worry?

Jim, I think we should definitely consider starting to worry. Satan was one of the most powerful entities, supposedly, in the universe, and ManBearPig annihilated him like a *****. I don't think we should waste any more time underestimating the importance of beginning to think about starting to worry.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Dear Diary,
Someday I want Coach’s perfect buttocks….”
*Turns a few pages*
“Today I walked into the locker room and found Coach all alone in the jacuzzi… Boring!”
*Closes Diary*

 

[Beanz]

“i feel like a sickly victorian child who was recently lobotomized” -me to my brother

 

[Yoshi155]

Just look at Orel's shirt! It's the fourth time this week, Clay, it's worrisome. (it's covered in blood spots)

*no response*

I can't be doing laundry every day.

*no response*

I'll have to double my detergent budget.

What? This is serious!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Maybe he gots to go outside and goes to the... B-A-S-T-H-R-O-H-M-N-S-E."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“You’re gonna hear from my lawyer!”
“I AM your lawyer.”
“Aw man! That’s why I lose all my cases!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Should I be worried that our daughter is enjoying the ultra violence?”
“It’s genetic.”
“Great….”

 

[Yoshi155]

Tickle tickle ow! *sticks it in his eye* Tickle tickle ow! *sticks it in his other eye* Tickle tickle ow! *sticks it in his nose*

 

[Yoshi155]

Are you attempting to leave the school grounds without permission, Miss Pataki?

Are you attempting to dance the flamenco, Principal Wartz?

*awkward silence*

This moment never happened.

Gotcha.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Why is Black Friday not happening at Wienerschnitzel?”

“I can’t eat the Haagen-Dazs.”

 

[Yoshi155]

What do we do when someone is mean to us? That's right! Violence! Can you say “violence”?

Violence!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Me social life is online. Me social life is online.”
“Whoa!”
“Me have hundred fifty six thousand friends. On. Line.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Wait a minute. We don't need the remote. We can change the channel on the TV.

*gasp* You mean get up from the sofa and change it manually, like they did in ancient times when people weren't lazy? That sounds a little extreme, man.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"What do we want?"

"Fry's dog!"

"When do we want it?"

"Fry's dog!"

 

[Yoshi155]

I-It is the single most vile, twisted, dark piece of porn ever made.

How the hell do you know?!

I, uh, I-I read about it in People.

 

[QueenCobra]

“Siberia and Alaska are two similar shores. Bathhouse, vodka, accordion, and salmon!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"What's this place called?"

"This is, I believes, called food libraries."

"Food libraries?"

"Food libraries..."

"Food libraries—"

"It's called a grocery store, you douchebags!"

 

[Yoshi155]

It's not healthy to be dead for that long.