The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Here! Take it! Just don’t fondle me!”
*Covers eyes as she give the homeless man her purse*
“Thank you kindly ma’am but I won’t hurt you. I’m gayer than springtime!”
*Skips away happily carrying the purse*
“Why didn’t you stop me? That was all my money!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Are you there, God? It's me, giraffe.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Look! Her name is Veal! That is a very pretty name!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Somewhere in this house there’s a pile of crotches.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Just pretend you’re taking your grandma to church. There’s a platter of biscuits and two gallons of sweet tea in glass jars in the back seat. She’s wearing a new dress and holding a Crockpot full of gravy.”

 

[Yoshi155]

It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I was sullen and morose until I found my pet clam.”
“That’s a coin purse.”
“Oh Life just keeps giving me one blow after another….”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Let’s cuddle! Like little bunnies or babies! It’s so much safer!”

 

[Yoshi155]

I shall drum for you. Drum drummy drum. For the newborn baby king.

Shudduuuup!

Yes Lord.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Can you shoot a gun?"

"Maybe?"

"Can you defend yourself in hand-to-hand combat?"

"Sort of? No..."

"Hmm... Do you believe Top Gun has gay overtones?"

"Duh, yes?"

"Yep, he's a sharp one..."

 

[Yoshi155]

What does my little girl want?

An absence of mood swings and stability in my life.

How about a pony?

Okay!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Anyway, we brought you some books on tape. This one is really good. Mein Kampf as read by Jimmie “JJ” Walker.”
*Hits the play button*
“The Aryan race is dy-no-mite!”

 

[Yoshi155]

There is no holiday season, in India I've heard. They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd. They've never read a Christmas story, they don't know what Rudolph is about. And so every December I go to India and shooouuut…

Hey there Mr. Hinduist! Merry ****ing Christmas! Take some eggnog and some beef and pass it to the missus!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“When we were young there was no such thing as kids taking drugs!”
”Bob, we grew up in the 60s. Drugs were everywhere!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest.
Picking up little…Armadillos.”

Post automatically merged: Nov 12, 2023

“I boiled the rabbit.”
“I would very much like to go home now.”
“I have a question. Well two questions. Didn’t you tell us last week Dan didn’t want to have any to do with you? And why did you boil the bunny?”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"What's happening to me? Is it puberty?"

"It's a phone call, dingus."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hi Mandy! I’m Little Bo Peep and I’ve lost my…!”
“Your mind. You’ve lost your mind.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Why do I get the feeling that someday I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Enjoy your time in”
“Hellllllllllllllllllllll-ooooooooooooooooooooo!”