The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

Beating off the dog is not appropriate when we have company! I mean, ever! Beating off the dog is not appropriate ever!

 

[Yoshi155]

Sure Jesus. I'll take some crack.

 

[QueenCobra]

“To catch you up to speed, had a good breakfast and then the torture started.”

 

[Yoshi155]

There's a beating heart inside everything! Except lawyers, zombies and jellyfish!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hey Bernice! Is that your huge rear end or did some Galapagos tortoises die in there?!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I taught you two to lie BUT NOT TO ME!!!!!!!”

 

[Yoshi155]

My mom told me there's a lot of black people in China.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“No! Please! Don’t make us eat ice cream!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Hey Mom! I found a spear gun. Can we go to Sea World?”
”Milo! Be careful! That thing is loaded!”
*Spear gun goes off*
”Oops. I guess Mommy is too.”

 

[Yoshi155]

This is the best day of my miserable life. Sweeeeeet! I love racism!

 

[Yoshi155]

Well, Uncle G. Did you find out the meaning of life?

Yeah. Some bald guy drew me when he was bored.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

”Tennessee Ernie Ford? Now I KNOW you’re dead!”
“You just thought I was dead.”
“No. I was your biggest fan. I even cut out your obituary from the newspaper. See?”
*Tennessee Ernie stares in shock at the obituary and turns into dust*

 

[Yoshi155]

You're nice! *kiss*

You're nice! *kiss*

You're nice! *kiss*

You're nice! *kiss*

You're nice! *kiss*

You're nice! *kiss*

Nothing weird going on here!

 

[Yoshi155]

So now I'm an unemployed masseuse with a bald wife. Merry ****ing Christmas.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Those were genuine copies of designer fakes!”

 

[Yoshi155]

You know, I thought I was too old. I thought my time had passed. I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh this is Cindy’s shoe, isn’t it? Yes, what happened to her was so-teehee- tragic. Thank you so much for reminding me of the wonderfu-tragic tragic events of this afternoon.”

Post automatically merged: Nov 5, 2023

“The janitor just exploded.”
“Yes he did.”
“The irony here is that there’s no one here to clean up the… parts.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Tell Tom Kardashian to suck my p-p-popsicles that are in the green room, and that I am very sorry, and that he is a fantastic person.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Dude, I don't think I like the new Cartman.

Did you like the old one?

Hm, good point.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What did you bring in for Show and Tell? Oh it’s a screwdriver! That’s my favorite drink!”