The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“It’s called a salad, you cow.”
“Is that what it is? My doctor has been telling me that I should be eat- WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”
“Nothing.”
“Oh good. Cause you’re no model yourself.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“What’s that? Oh it’s one of the janitor’s mystery meat balls. I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Is it vegan? It looks vegan.”
“Sigh. No, Cindy. It’s a meatball.”

 

[kisaker39]

"thats not sonic. thats ironic"

my friend today when i showed them my sonic fanart i found today that i made as a 4 year old.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“NUGGET KNOWS WHERE BILLY IS!!!!!”

 

[Yoshi155]

They taste like… burning!

 

[kisaker39]

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Dude, I have no idea what we're seeing right now, but I have a feeling it's really, really wrong.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Will that be cash or charge ?”
*SLAP*
“Right. Right. Uh charge of course!”

 

[oddbear]

"The last time i s**t, it was next to a fricking stegosaurus."

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"hey Weegee, you should um... you should try playing that piano, I know you can do it—THE STOOL IS GREEN LUIGI, COME ON. GET REAL." - me yesterday

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Judge Judy’s your friend!”
“Yeah! Watch Judge Judy!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Class, in what year was 1 + 1?

 

[Midoriya]

"Gonpachiro, what are you doing over there??"
"I've told you a million times by now, it's Tanjiro. And I'm uh, cutting up ingredients."
"For what?"
"For.... THE GONPACHIRO PART-TIME CHEF HERO SHOW!!"
"..."
*a studio set is placed around Tanjiro along with all kinds of ingredients and cameras are facing him*
"Relax, Inosuke! It's everybody's new hit favorite cooking show! See, I just take this here, and walah!"
*crowd track plays ooos as Tanjiro shows a dish that looks like something you'd find in a dumpster*
"Just ask one of our many customers how they feel!"
*random person walks on set*
"WOW! When Gonpachiro said he would transform my salad, I knew it would be good, but I didn't think it would be this good!"
*person takes a bite and collapses on the ground as they walk off set, and money is thrown onto their body*
"Gordon Ramsay?? Never heard of him."
"So come on down to Gonpachiro's Part-Time Chef Hero restaurant today, and enjoy only the finest foods!"
*Muzan watching on the TV*
"Haha, YES. I have finally found Tanjiro and his little siter... now for their location, let's see. It's Gonpachiro Part-Time Chef Hero's Incorporated... wait, wut?"

 

[Yanrima~]

"Gee, it sure is boring around here!"
"My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"

 

[QueenCobra]

“I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.”

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"once I realized the patriarchy wasn't about horses, I kind of lost interest."

 

[Yanrima~]

"If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book."

 

[Aerith]

"Big sad that your teeth are not gonna have their modeling debut."

 

[-Mars-]

"So you aren't into fashion eh? Too bad! Then you can't have my hat!"
"no I'm into fashion and I have all the pairs of pants in the whole world [threatening voice] now GIVE me your HAT"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Children stew children stew. Nothing better than children stew!”