The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“look, Billy! It’s Oodles!”
“Yeah and it looks like something’s wrong!”
“Billy! Talula! Come quick! Uncle Lyle’s locked in the barn again and it’s on fire!”
“Oh no!”
*Oodles runs off*
“Hey wait a minute. We don’t have an Uncle Lyle.”
“We don’t even have a barn.”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"I just called in a to-go order for Doofenshmirtz."

"Hey, Vick, you got an order for Doofyberg?"

"No, no, no, Doofenshmirtz, Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Surely you've heard of me!"

"Okay, order for Heinz Doofensmith? Is that right?"

"No, Doofenshmirtz! Doofen...ah...my brother's the mayor?"

"Roger Doofenshmirtz is your brother?"

"Yes, Doofenshmirtz."

"And your name is?"

"Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"Do we have an order for a Hans Doofenblast?"

 

[Beanz]

"when you die you go to the biscuit in the sky... wait that actually goes hard" -me

 

[QueenCobra]

“Take my swim trunks. I won’t need them.”
“What does he want with your swim trunks?!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Now, keep your head down. Ignore all distractions.

*immediately gets hit by a flying golf club*

 

[skarmoury]

yeet

 

[Dim]

"I am the color red, in a world of black and white!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Stop it! Stop it! First it was terrorists, then George Bush and global warming and now you’re all blaming crab people for something that’s very simple! It’s MY fault. I broke the dam.

Stanley? You?

No. Don’t you see what this child is saying? We can’t spend all our energy placing blame when something bad happens. He’s saying… we all broke the dam.

No. I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

No. I broke the dam.

And I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam. I ran a boat into the dam and I broke it.

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

No! I broke the ****ing dam!

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I literally broke the dam!

I broke the dam.

On a boat! That wasn’t mine!

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

I kept it secret, for two days!

I broke the dam.

I broke the dam.

The boat caught on fire, and it exploded!

I broke the dam.

Aw, **** it!

 

[junebuggy.99]

"Luigi needs to find the strength within himself to become the true Lord of the Vacuum." - CrashtheWeeb

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And so it was time to say goodnight.
Goodnight Rock,
Goodnight Stone,
Goodnight stick,
Goodnight another rock,
ugh Goodnight dirt,
Goodnight yet another rock….”
“This is a classic?”
“Goodnight book!"
*Ethyl throws the book away from her*
“GOOD!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So lightning hit the same tree twice?”
“Don’t question it. It’s just a story.”
“I know. I just wanted to make sure!”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’ll put Baby Cuddlebunny in some pajamas.”
“Not the pajamas! Not the pajamas! NOT THE PAJAMAS!”

 

[Yoshi155]

This is an outrage! I demand you hand over your captain’s jacket!

This is my normal jacket. I’ve had it for 10 years.

I said hand it over!

 

[QueenCobra]

"Let's joke about body hair. Let's make a great first impression."

 

[Yoshi155]

Wiggles, weren’t you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain?

Fine! I’ve got a toast. To Captain Bender. He’s the best… at being a big jerk who’s stupid, and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt.

Eh, I’ve heard better.

 

[Mr.Fox]

‘I hope you’re going to the Valley Vista Try-N-Save kid, cuz you don’t wanna come to my store. Catfeesh?’

 

[Yoshi155]

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12 piece bucket of trouble. But I done struck you a deal. Five hours of community service cleaning up that ol’ mess you caused.

Five hours? Aw, man. Couldn’t you have just gotten me the death penalty?

 

[Midoriya]

"I always knew dem' hippos were bad..." *spits into a can*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“And so the tree was marked for destruction. *Ethyl closes the book* And they lived happily ever after. The end”
“No it’s not!”
“Yes it is.”
“I see more pages!”
“Footnotes.”
“Lying to the Baby!”
“Oh look. There’s more.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now.