The Official Feedback Thread

[LadyDestani]

Hi all,

I would like to follow Mar by addressing some criticism I saw regarding my own post in this thread. Specifically, it came to my attention that my suggestion to reach out via CTS was taken as an attempt to silence your concerns. For that, I sincerely apologize as it was not my intention at all.

Looking back over my phrasing, I realize why it was perceived that way. It was late, I was tired, and I simply wanted to say something to address the situation so people didn't feel like we were ignoring them.

My recommendation for using CTS was something I added on the fly. I thought it would bring more visibility for our staff team to respond quicker to those who were particularly upset, because this thread is growing so fast that it's very difficult to keep up. I also misspoke because none of us minded you all continuing to discuss the matter in this thread as long as the rules were followed.

I know words matter, even more so as a moderator, so I do try very hard to express myself clearly. Because of that, I know I'm often too wordy, I probably come across as too formal, and I still make mistakes.

I love this community! I hope you can accept that I'm giving my best and continuously trying to be better because I want TBT to stay around for many years to come. I will always accept your feedback with an open mind and do everything I can to improve myself and this site.

 

[-Apples-]

Hi all,

I would like to follow Mar by addressing some criticism I saw regarding my own post in this thread. Specifically, it came to my attention that my suggestion to reach out via CTS was taken as an attempt to silence your concerns. For that, I sincerely apologize as it was not my intention at all.

Looking back over my phrasing, I realize why it was perceived that way. It was late, I was tired, and I simply wanted to say something to address the situation so people didn't feel like we were ignoring them.

My recommendation for using CTS was something I added on the fly. I thought it would bring more visibility for our staff team to respond quicker to those who were particularly upset, because this thread is growing so fast that it's very difficult to keep up. I also misspoke because none of us minded you all continuing to discuss the matter in this thread as long as the rules were followed.

I know words matter, even more so as a moderator, so I do try very hard to express myself clearly. Because of that, I know I'm often too wordy, I probably come across as too formal, and I still make mistakes.

I love this community! I hope you can accept that I'm giving my best and continuously trying to be better because I want TBT to stay around for many years to come. I will always accept your feedback with an open mind and do everything I can to improve myself and this site.

I actually liked both of your responses to this thread. I mean yeah, it’s natural to face the negativity in a thread like this, but the whole fight over the Valentine’s event drama was a whole different level.

Anyways, I’ll be awaiting more feedback on the issues. My top three responses to await are on the collectibles market, the repeat winners, and controversial content.

 

[MrBox]

ah nevermind, sorry
it was nothing important

 

[EpicGamer12]

Wow, lots to digest here. If this was happening in real life, I would just have everyone over for a corn boil, and we could settle our differences that way. This is the internet, so that cannot happen.

sorry mods - just wanted to lighten the mood ;-;

 

[-Raven-]

I don’t know if this means anything coming from me or just comes across as flimsy but honestly the atmosphere from this and the last thread make me like, well-

I said I wanted to stay on this site as long as possible before for how much it helped me and I genuinely didn’t think I would be thinking this sincerely about leaving. I thought if I ever wanted to leave it would squarely be in the “me issues” category and I’d realise that and swallow it, but I’m rapidly getting more uncomfortable here.

I’m not sure if airing my issues out is just getting off-topic but I don’t really care. If there was some response to what I said about reacts I’ll just say this: reacts were one of the main ways I interact with this site and now I question every time I’m doing them, because I feel like I’m going to be silently bothered people. It actually bothered me enough to turn off notifs for my own reacts, to distance myself a bit and make the site more quiet. I felt so guilty about the whole thing I didn’t want to log in. I’m someone who overthinks every interaction I had. Hug react, on the other side of the coin, helped me with my touch starvation trauma and yada yada reminds me of friends. Otherwise: forget it.

I don’t see seliph around a lot but I’m going to second what Crash said and staff should be able to take this on the chin. It’s your site and you’re going to get criticism. Respond poorly and push members away. Literally been vindicated in posts here. I don’t remember when he said it but seliph was also right community = amazing, with this reaction to criticism from staff that can only go so far, and this isn’t just drama.

I didn’t read everything because it’s honestly hard to and instead of wanting to contribute something positive or meaningful in this thread, I genuinely don’t want to check it. More and more often in my life I’m wondering why I bother to express anything. seliph has consistently been one of the most on-point users I see on this site and before this year I genuinely expected better from staff here, if the points from many other users are getting this reaction then why should I bother either.

I mentioned this in another thread but I used to try and keep ignorant to issues on this site, because I’ve done this song and dance and it just isn’t working anymore. I don’t want to post my art here anymore, I don’t care about events anymore, I don’t play the games this site is based around anymore, I’m putting less efforts in my posts, the react thing, and sure a bunch of it is just circumstantial but to see the staff reactions on top of everything just gives no hope for that improving. In so many areas of my life I keep feeling like I have to stomach things while seeing others be immature and I’m not trying to suggest the staff are immature about their whole lives, but these sure are some reactions and I don’t want to feel that same frustration here!

If I silently leave y’all have an idea of why, you can find me on Discord, I’m always sorry I didn’t spend more time with some of you. I had one of my worst years last year and I just started to try and be more active on this site again, but there’s only so much I want to be here with the current issues and lack of faith in improvement.

 

[sleepey]

I truly hope we can find a way to move forward, and I’m grateful for staff who have been real with us. I haven’t been active here as many of you, but I still have hope and the willingness to be an engaged member of this community. Thank you, everyone

 

[Crash]

-

 

[MrBox]

but please STOP with the comments all over the damn forum about how toxic we all are

100%
I find it odd and silly people are even talking about this in other threads. To call this "tea", "toxic", "the world has gotten sensitive", or "senseless fighting/arguing and drama" just makes me feel like people are not actually reading or trying to understand. Which is okay too, to not want to engage and ignore- but the comments feel very... telling. And are unnecessary.

Like Crash said, no one is thinking : Wow Today I really want to pick a fight with a staff member!!! Ima come in swinging !!!!

I personally will confront no matter what and it's clear to me that all of this has been built up.

Long time members are not leaving because this discussion is happening but because what caused it at the core (and the initial staff response).

Edit:

Spoiler: reacts

Also I just wanted to add- to everyone worrying about reacts, it really is no big deal. I can't speak for everyone but if they truly dislike it and have been uncomfortable.. that sucks and I'm sorry for them. I hope they can put in their signature "no reacts please".
I just want to let you know as someone who dislikes the hug react (the image , not the sentiment) that your reaction does not make me personally uncomfortable. I'm sorry the recent talk has made people feel like that. I want to say that most people are not uncomfortable and are fine with it.
Also I might just put this in the WBY thread or reach out to people who are concerned. I didn't want to put it in the WBY thread cause it's just... idk.

 

[seliph]

Echoing what Box and Crash have said: it's really easy to dismiss this as Another TBT Drama when it doesn't affect you at all. I'm sure it doesn't necessarily come from a place of ill intent but these "can't everyone stop fighting uwu" posts just come across as tone-deaf and passive aggressive. I'm not sitting here rubbing my hands together like a fly thinking of how I'm going to piss off Jeremy, I'm here 'cause people I respect (and me!) have been treated like crap and it's not right.

I didn't get to say it yesterday (I had a LONG day at work and didn't feel like talking much; retail drains the hell out of your ability - and desire - to communicate) but I really do appreciate everyone who's stuck up for me.

Spoiler: TW: animal death

I did not plan on ever mentioning this beyond people I'm not friends with let alone on the forums but about a month ago I lost my dog of 12 years and anyone who knows me even a little bit knows she was my whole life, so these past few weeks have, to put it very lightly, been awful. So genuinely it was really touching to see people I've never or hardly interacted with having my back.

Also thank you Mar and Destani for your responses, they are appreciated and you are setting a good example here.

 

[Foreverfox]

Echoing what Box and Crash have said: it's really easy to dismiss this as Another TBT Drama when it doesn't affect you at all. I'm sure it doesn't necessarily come from a place of ill intent but these "can't everyone stop fighting uwu" posts just come across as tone-deaf and passive aggressive. I'm not sitting here rubbing my hands together like a fly thinking of how I'm going to piss off Jeremy, I'm here 'cause people I respect (and me!) have been treated like crap and it's not right.

I didn't get to say it yesterday (I had a LONG day at work and didn't feel like talking much; retail drains the hell out of your ability - and desire - to communicate) but I really do appreciate everyone who's stuck up for me.

Spoiler: TW: animal death

I did not plan on ever mentioning this beyond people I'm not friends with let alone on the forums but about a month ago I lost my dog of 12 years and anyone who knows me even a little bit knows she was my whole life, so these past few weeks have, to put it very lightly, been awful. So genuinely it was really touching to see people I've never or hardly interacted with having my back.

Also thank you Mar and Destani for your responses, they are appreciated and you are setting a good example here.

Insert appropriate emoji reaction here - like doesn’t feel right, neither does love for some of it, and being mindful of your feelings on hug reaction. I don’t think I need to mention celebrate.

 

[-Mars-]

I feel obligated to respond to this since some people were concerned about using hug reactions on people or reactions on general because I was part of that conversation.

I'm really sorry for being part of that conversation, the only reason I decided to bring up my concerns was that other people were having that conversation first and I decided to join in because well I agree I guess?

I sincerely apologize if sharing my thoughts about the hug reaction came across as "entitled" in any way, this is a public forum and whether I like it or not people are going to interact with me and my posts and people are going to do things that make me uncomfortable and go against my personal boundaries because that is simply how the public works, the world does not revolve around me and everyone really shouldn't need to concern themselves with respecting trivial things that make me uncomfortable such as trying to give me virtual hugs, looking back it was probably a bad idea to make suggestions that something be done about the hug reaction because virtually everyone likes it and there's only a very very very small minority who doesn't.

I sincerely apologize for contributing to making other people feel concerned or uncomfortable about using reactions on people because it could bother them, there's only like 2 people who dislike the hug reaction so it shouldn't really be a concern about making people uncomfortable with the hug reaction or any other reactions. Like I said if people use that reaction on me I just ignore it as it's just a picture and people shouldn't concern themselves with trivial preferences. I'm sorry for joining in on that conversation and saying those things that made other people feel concerned about interacting with other users, I was just trying to agree with someone else's opinion since they brought it up, I didn't want people to feel concerned that they shouldn't be using reactions on people's posts.

 

[Mistreil]

Hi - I don't have much time to write anything properly thought out at the moment, but I have been trying to keep up with things, and wanted to address something really quickly!

There have been posts about people apologizing for 1) posting feedback (e.g. about reactions or otherwise), or 2) for not recognizing people's feelings on said topics and worrying about whether they may have inadvertently bothered or upset someone. In both cases: please don't feel bad!

For (1): This thread exists for a reason, and all feedback is important. There are always multiple perspectives on things, and it's helpful to be exposed to these! Even if you feel your feedback is just something that bothers you, keep in mind that it might  not just be you. Using the reactions as an example: from this, there is a revelation that there are people who aren't completely comfortable -- how many people is completely unknown, and something no one would ever start to know if it hadn't come up. This extends to every other piece of feedback too: when you're sharing feedback on something, you're also giving an opportunity for other people who hold the same opinion to know they aren't the only one in that.

For (2): I believe it's important to reflect, and take into consideration that your actions, however well-intentioned, may have negatively affected someone. It's very difficult to live without ever making someone uncomfortable at some point! But for the most part, I believe most people are well-intentioned and most people will try to recognize that your intentions were good. With reactions as the example again: certainly, people may have been uncomfortable if certain reactions were used, but I'd assume they either understood the sentiment. If not, then being able to ignore it and move past it, or communicate the boundary if needed. We cannot live predicting every possible outcome or effect of our actions -- there's way too many factors for that! All we can do is just try our best, reflect, and maybe be more mindful in the future.

Also, though I used reactions as an example, it should generalize towards everything!

(I hope my point gets across, I'm writing very very quickly and have no time to edit. I just dislike the blame that people are placing on themselves unduly! As much as we should try to be kind to others, remember to be kind to yourself too!)

 

[Mick]

Here's another one coming out of hibernation because of *gestures vaguely*, hi helloo

I have to agree with what Crash said in that last post. This situation sucks for all involved, none of us like this thread right now, but I also feel trying to silence, dismiss, or complain about a confrontation like this one isn't going to be very helpful as none of that could lead to it being resolved properly. The entire thing is unfortunate but definitely not pointless, I'm seeing plenty of potential for this to leave us all in a better spot.

I appreciate everyone speaking up, as that takes a lot of time, energy, sometimes courage. The way I see it, this issue runs way deeper than this thread alone and I think I can safely conclude that a lot of the anger and hostility we've seen is only a result of frustration that has been building up on all sides for far longer than it should have been allowed to have. It's better to not shut it down and not let it build further.

When I spoke in this recent post and said that I believe it's important that people get to voice their opinions, I never meant that people should be able to calmly post upsetting or disrespectful world views, but that people should be willing to take a step back and try to understand potentially valid criticism when they encounter it rather than immediately declaring war. I'm still going to own that hill, and for me that means acknowledging the intent and points being made in everyone's posts here, regardless of how they were voiced.

If you're interested in hearing it, of course there are things that I regret too. Like Space Camp, which I still love simply for being Space Camp, having a sour aftertaste because we made the event so big that it became nearly impossible for us to also properly deal with the community issues when things didn't go as planned. I was so busy writing silly lore bits and cheering for the people on my own team that I simply didn't set aside enough time to be able to gauge just how badly some people weren't having fun. I can only promise that I've reflected on it a lot, and that I hope that'll help if something similar ever comes up.

Speaking of 'time to deal with things:' like Mar, I have often encountered reports on complex or uncomfortable topics. Trying to act immediately is often not feasible because it leads to big mistakes, but on the other hand trying to obtain too much feedback or information in the back channels to construct the perfect answer leads to long response times, people feeling unheard, and situations escalating. None of those are desirable, and together they have caused most of my regrets.

I'd certainly like to attempt being more communicative while sorting things out rather than potentially seeming distant or indifferent. I can't promise exact actions here, only state that I'd like change too and that we'll be working on it.

The site will never be perfect as we cannot prevent us making mistakes sometimes, but it certainly does not need to be a place where people feel unwelcome simply because of the way it's run.

 

[skarmoury]

I genuinely don't want to overshadow what Mick, Mistreil and other staff and other previous commentors have said (thank you for all the responses I super appreciate you guys!!), but I do just want to emphasize that if you have any complaints about this thread, bring them here.

I'm seeing people vaguepost outside this thread and it's extremely disheartening because, well, we can talk about this like mature adults on the proper channels if you just allow people to speak to you. Respect begets respect. If you'd rather not look at this specific thread then that's 100% fine, you don't need to and I can't blame you, but please if you do have something to say then I ask that you either place it in the proper channels or don't post about it publicly at all. Otherwise it's very, very insensitive and hurtful.

We all make mistakes. We all hate conflict. I apologize when I need to, and I see that some of my messages have been out of frustration and I have hurt people so once again I sincerely apologize. I genuinely love TBT as much as you guys do (I'm nearing my 10-year anniversary, mind you!) and I don't want this place to burn in a dumpsterfire. This is why I leave comments, because I want this place to stay for a good while.

I don't mean to be aggressive at all, just coming from a place of love and concern. Thanks!!

edited a lil bit, sorry Mick for posting right after you, i didnt see!!! ;v; thank u to the staff who've been posting i appreciate yall truly

 

[.: Meri :.]

I’ve been quietly following this thread, and I want to say how much I appreciate the recent responses from Mar, LadyDestani, Mistreil and Mick. Between this and the other thread, I’ve become aware of some things I was regrettably clueless about before, and I’d like to follow your lead and share some of my feelings too.

It’s completely natural to want to protect others, especially people you’re close to and care a lot about—as people we should look out for each other. It's a noble desire, and one no one should feel bad about having. But I know that, in wanting to do so, I’ve gotten hotheaded and let myself get carried away. I’ve jumped to conclusions and said some things that were harsh and totally unfair of me, without knowing how the other party felt, or trying to understand where they were coming from (or in some cases, even who they were, which made it all the more easy to villainize them in my head). I meant well but ultimately created more hurt, and I’m deeply sorry for it.

Like Mistreil above, I also believe that most people are well-intentioned at heart, and I know I could’ve done better to act in accordance with that belief. The TBT community, both regular users and staff alike, is full of people I adore and think very highly of. I hope our words can reach each other.

 

[MrBox]

This was pretty much my message earlier (the one that I edited because I felt awkward about adding to an earlier post of mine) I think it requires a lot of courage for the staff to post and I appreciate you greatly . I was kind of avoiding saying anything about the staff responses because anything I say , in my opinion, will come off as condescending. Since I'm in no position to.. comment about it.

I'm glad this is not getting shut down and these issues are being brought to light. I was not directly effected by the Holiday 2023 event but when I learned about it, it really made me see TBT in a different light

 

[Mick]

For transparency: I just removed a comment which was not helpful right now, and also the response to it for the sake of continuity in this thread. Please be aware that saying people are arguing for nothing is not helpful, the fact that they are writing those posts means it has meaning to them, and that means we want to hear it.

 

[-Apples-]

I have a question. Of those eight topics an official response has been posted or is pending, which one was the hardest to discuss?

 

[nightglow]

I'm glad things are getting mended/refined. it is a process but it will be worth it and is important. Not gonna lie, I was getting worried there for a bit..
There is a lot here but it looks like we are making progress and improvement as a community and I am happy all this is moving into a good direction. 𖹭

 

[LambdaDelta]

what about the bandaged heart react in place of the hug? I feel it'd get the same sentiment across without having the somewhat offputting for some physical intimacy angle