The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[diosita]

I honestly don’t know what that means

help i hate my job what do i do

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Sue the company.

I have no hot water. Please help!

 

[Midoriya]

Go steal the water from a hot spring.

I need to get rid of some material possessions. What do I do?

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

Blow 'em up.

How can I get better at acting?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Commit a crime so you can testify in a courtroom - then practice your acting skills and lie under oath and persuade the jury and judge that you didn't do it. If you can do that, you'll be a kickass actor in no time.

How do I ride a motorcycle?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

You get on it and walk yourself Flintstones-style super quick!

it’s really cold but damp out here. Any quick and easy ways to warm up?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Have a gender reveal party.

What kind of present should I get for my niece's 12th birthday?

 

[Xara]

forget about the birthday entirely

should i go to bed?

 

[Ace Marvel]

No xara, you should make the bed come to you!

I want to buy a yacht, where can I find one?

 

[Clock]

Go to a real estate
How do I solve my problems?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, 'cause that's what it's all about

How do I keep my plants from dying?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

feed them lighter fluid instead of water and put a candle near them!

how do I get good grades

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Hack into the school system so you can adjust your report card grades.

How do I visit other planets in our solar system?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Use a grappling hook to latch onto an asteroid: it’ll do the rest!

Do y’all know the best way to type with hooves?

 

[Clock]

Just type like a cat or wear gloves that have human hands on them.
How do I play piano?

 

[Midoriya]

Jump and dance on the piano keys to a Michael Jackson song without paying attention to what keys you’re actually hitting.

How do I make remixes?

 

[Clock]

Just play with random sounds if you want a remix
How to clean an old keyboard?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Dump it into a washing machine. Use bleach as well!

I ran out of vitamin pills. What can I do to make sure I still have an adequate intake?

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

Don't eat any foods that may have vitamins in it.

How can I be more masculine?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just don't work out your muscles and avoid your jock villagers at all costs!

How can I make honey?