The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[chocosongee]

lift them underwater

how do i resist from eating late at night

 

[sunnibunniva]

take a long nap in the afternoon and call it breakfast!

how do I get better at talking to people?

 

[Clock]

Start talking about the weather
How do I fix a leak?

 

[frogslime]

Chop it up and add it to your stew

We're out of sourcream!

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Replace it with yogurt (the type or flavor doesn’t matter)

How do I patch a tent?

 

[Midoriya]

Hit it with a hammer. Doesn’t matter where. It will work.

How do I stop telling people to hit things with hammers?

 

[sunnybear526]

You throw away your hammer

How do I get all A’s

 

[frogslime]

Put yourself forward and get to work on the dang assignment pay some nerd to do it

How do I put my window screen back in?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use flex tape.

A bunch of wolves is chasing me. How do I survive this?

 

[Clock]

Run to the nearest meat store and throw meat at them
What is the best hide and seek spot?

 

[Neb]

In a nice open field.

How can I get Spotify to stop recommending me awful music?

 

[chocosongee]

stop listening to spotify

How can I get my package to arrive quicker

 

[Midoriya]

Infiltrate Spotify headquarters and force—

NINJA!

Err, idk. Just pay more money for it.

How do I stop getting ninja’ed on the forums?

 

[chocosongee]

ull always get ninja'ed too bad hehe

how do i break into the white house

 

[Clock]

Learn how to hack the governments security code
How do I crash a party?
Not doing this irl, thats a joke

 

[Midoriya]

Go to an F1 race, steal one of the cars there, and literally crash it into the house where the party is being held.

How do I sleep earlier?

 

[Xara]

set all your clocks to 9pm permanently and then boom, you’ll always go to bed early just ignore the rising sun,, just pretend it’s not there

how long should i take walks for?

 

[chocosongee]

enough time to get you to the bathroom

how do i get rid of the smoke?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Try inhaling as much of it as you can. Your body will absorb it, ya know?

I wanna be a lawyer, but I don't know what the hell to put on my resume. What should I put?

 

[frogslime]

Mention the hours you put into Ace Attorney and hope a weeb is reviewing your resume.

How do I gain a sense of fashion?