The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Shellzilla_515]

Blow your nose and do the same to your dog. Actually, don't do that!

What do I do if a bus doesn't come in 15 minutes?

 

[honeyaura]

Then you have the right to leave

I only have apple cider vinager and baking soda in my fridge. What do I do/make?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

You put them all together in a blender and make sure that it is absolutely mixed. You got yourself an apple-cider-vinegar-baking-soda juice.

How do I cross my legs without numbing after I stand up?

 

[honeyaura]

Hmm, continuously massage both legs no matter what til it's time to stand up! Tada!

How can I drink out of two cups at once?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Easy, get a hat, tape two cups to it, attach two long straws to it, and bam, not only you're drinking from two cups at the same time but you'll look like a goof!

How can I do backflips without fearing of breaking myself?

 

[Korichi]

Break yourself first so backflipping won’t!

What do I do if I need to take a shower but I’m incredibly tired?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Dump yourself in a big bucket filled with cold water. Then you can take a nice warm shower.

I found a sword on the ground. What do I do?

 

[Hyrule_Crossing]

Pull it *zelda music starts playing*

I wish I could fall asleep faster

 

[burrntriice]

jump out a high window, you'll be sleeping for quite a while... in the hospital!

i want to become popular...

 

[princepoke]

smile and wave. seems to work for the penguins of madagascar (shrugs)

i have homework and stuff to do but i really dont wanna do it. what can i do

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Stick your homework to your face. That should make you do it.

Is it a good idea if I get a dog?

 

[koopasta]

Sure, so long as you don't feed it, clean up after it, or give it any love or affection. Only pansies do that stuff.

How do I start my own band?

 

[princepoke]

but a guitar, keyboard, set of drums, amps, mics and a bass so that you have everything ready. use it to bribe possible band members into joining ur new band

i have to take a major test soon. what should i do to prepnfor it?

 

[honeyaura]

Hmm that's a tough one. I think bugging the teacher for an automatic good grade usually does fantastic for me. jk please study lol

I have to clean the entire house before everyone gets home in 2 minutes! What should I do?

 

[Flare]

Nothing, ask the people returning to clean it for you.

My hair is wet in the bathtub, shoud I use the hair dryer in it?

 

[koopasta]

What you do is install the electrical outlet inside the bathtub. Water complements electricity like butter complements toast, man.

There's a leak in my roof! What do I do?

 

[honeyaura]

FLEX TAPE!

I don't feel like watering my plants. What do I do?

 

[princepoke]

scold them because they should be old enough by now to water themselves smh

i have to get up and be productive but my bed. so comfortable. and my cat. cuddling beside me.what do i do

 

[honeyaura]

Make your work come to you! Make it even serve you food in bed like royalty!

I'm supposed to be drinking more water but not feeling it right now. What should I do?

 

[Korichi]

Dump a bucket of water on your head and let it absorb into your body like the plants we are.

My cat wants to play but whenever I try to play with her she walks away disinterested. What do I do?