The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Shellzilla_515]

He's right behind you. Run!

How do I get more vitamin D?

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Take one bottle of vitamin D supplements per day. The whole bottle, eat it like a snake.

How can I pay more attention in school?

 

[frogslime]

Adderall. Eat it like you would candy. Or grind it into a potion, to add some flair.
I, however, am not liable for any negative outcomes. Seriously do not do thi-


How do I "get good"?

 

[Midoriya]

You got to get good! You have to physically chase after good. Use a plane, use a boat, use a train, whatever it takes! And once you have caught good, you will have finally gotten “good”.

How do I write a novel?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just make a bunch of scribbles on a few lines and it'll be a #1 bestseller in no time.

How do I make sure a blue shell doesn't hit me just before the finish line?

 

[Rowbowkid800]

Just make a bunch of scribbles on a few lines and it'll be a #1 bestseller in no time.

How do I make sure a blue shell doesn't hit me just before the finish line?

You gotta use a mushroom that you won’t get in first and use it

how do I beat acnh?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

You literally beat up the game cartridge to win.

How do I make sure I don't break things?

 

[Rowbowkid800]

You literally beat up the game cartridge to win.

How do I make sure I don't break things?

Don’t touch anything ever you have to learn how to float

how do I make food???

 

[Clock]

throw random stuff in the fire then eat it

How do I get an A+ in school?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Okay here's what you do, first you order a block of marble off the internet and wait for it to arrive. Next, you carve the block in to the letter/symbol that represents A+. It will look really fancy but it will of course be heavy so you'll probably have to get that A+ on wheels, load it on to a moving truck - ideally you'll want to secure the A+ in place, maybe throw a couple moving blankets on it. Don't want all that hard work to break. Next you drive down to your local school, any school will do actually, and then break in, and wheel the A+ in to a prime spot. Maybe in a hallway, or the cafeteria. The hard part will be getting the statue off the wheels. You may want to enlist the help of the janitor - maybe bribe him, and he'll probably have the necessary tools to help lift the A+ off the wheels and on to the floor. Once you are satisfied with the sculpture's placement, you can then confidently say that you got an A+ in school. Hope this helps

How do I make a cheesy chicken quesedilla?

 

[Neb]

Buy a live chicken, wrap it in a giant quesadilla, and sprinkle some shredded cheese on top.

How can I make myself wake up early without feeling exhausted for the rest of the day?

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Meth, like the rest of us

How do i complete my history research papers?

 

[Midoriya]

Do what Johnny Test did and resurrect people from long ago. Then ask them about historical events in detail as they try to eat your brain.

How do I fly?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Lift up your arms in front of a giant fan. You'll start to fly..... In 10 years.

How can I keep myself cool in hot temperatures?

 

[Plainbluetees]

just like I’m “reviving” this thread, revive the ice water bucket challenge from 2014. tried and true method

How do I reheat McDonald’s French fries?

 

[your local goomy]

Take a container to your local gas station, fill it up, douse the fries in the gas, light a match, and watch them reheat instantly! Works especially well if you like your fries extra crispy.

How do I get better at speedrunning video games?

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Hire an Olympic runner, give them the desired video game and have them run while holding it. Store bought is also fine

What should I make for Sunday brunch?

 

[VernalLapin]

-

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Dip your hair in a bucket of pink paint.

How do I get more vitamins?

 

[Neb]

Ask Fred Flinstone for some.

How do I deal with the excessive heat outside?