The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Neb]

Brush everything onto the floor with your arms.

How do you get rid of puffy cheeks?

 

[Pinkshade]

Cut them off. Cheeks can’t puff if they’re dead.
How do I brush my teeth

 

[Clock]

Use soap and a hair brush
How do I remove food stains on a book?

 

[Cutesy]

rip the stained pages out and re-print them
how do i make chocolate milk

 

[Neb]

Throw a chocolate bar into a glass cup and shoot it with a vaporizer gun.

How do I balance my hobbies with productivity?

 

[Clock]

Multitask
How to fry eggs

 

[spawnpoint]

Put them outside on a car on an extremely hot day

How to get back on a better schedule

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Overdose on sleep pills

How do i get ripped?

 

[Clock]

Buy an instant muscles suit.
Fastest way to brush hair?

 

[Neb]

Pat it down with your hands after putting them in water.

How do I read one book at a time without getting bored?

 

[Clock]

Skim read
How do I make coffee?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Smash some cocoa beans and pour it into your mouth, then add a cup of boiling water. Voila!

What's the first thing I should do when I start college?

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Cry and prepare for suffering

How do i make sushi?

 

[spawnpoint]

Take a dead fish and put rice and seaweed on it woohoo

How do I get over my ac obsession?

 

[Taj]

Change your username every three months (you’re on the right track) have mixed emotions about being a new Stan every other week and ultimately decide that you’ll quit until Nintendo expands the number of residents to 12

How do I stop simping

 

[Midoriya]

Call the SIMPsons at 1-800-SIMP and ask them how to stop.

How do I ride a motorcycle?

 

[Clock]

There's no instructions, its simple just like riding a bike.
How to avoid a doppelganger situation?

 

[Midoriya]

Have someone take both of you out, including the real you.

How to ride a snowmobile?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Ride it like a motorcycle over artificial snow. How can I drive fast?

 

[Midoriya]

Ignore all traffic laws and risk crashing into a building.

How do I slice a pineapple?