The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Midoriya]

This is the only correct way to drive a train.

How do I exercise more efficiently?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

This is the only correct way to drive a train.

How do I exercise more efficiently?

Dang that video is both nostalgia and hilarious at the same time. XD

To exercise more efficiently, have a jock villager force you to do pushups in your sleep.

How to make ice cream?

 

[lyradelphie04]

Buy a cow and make it eat during the winter.

Should I get a bachelors in Accounting or try to get a Masters and Bachelors in Accounting together in 4 years?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Both masters and bachelors in accounting in order to torture yourself with a heavy workload.

How can I stop the rain?

 

[Midna64]

Just tell the clouds to stop

Help I think my dog is broken

 

[Shellzilla_515]

I think a screw is loose on your dog. You might need to tighten it up!

I have to fight with a kangaroo. What do I do?

 

[Clock]

Learn boxing skills and martial arts, kangaroos are experienced with punches and kicks.
How do I freeze something in one minute?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Go to the north pole.

How do I heat something in one minute?

 

[cannedcommunism]

set it on fire.

why am I cold and lonely at night

 

[Shellzilla_515]

You must be sleeping with an ice cube. Melt it down!

How can I write a newspaper?

 

[Clock]

Start with the best topics on paper then move onto something else slowly.
How can I improve cooking?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just put your ingredients over an open flame. How do I steal a car?

 

[Midoriya]

Just pretend like life is GTA and forcibly carjack someone.

How do I fly?

 

[Kamina]

get on the roof, start flapping ur arms as hard as possible, and jump!! it worked for me.

for about 2 seconds, but still.


how do i eat a whole apple in one bite?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Code yourself into The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. Not only will you eat an apple in one bite, but you can eat a bunch of them within seconds!

How do I steal a microwave?

 

[Midoriya]

Go to the thread What Happens If You Microwave…? A forum game about microwaves and take one from there.

How do I hail a cab?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Throw rocks at it.

How do I kick out Tom Nook from my island?

 

[moonolotl]

make the island communist

How do i stop dancing?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Tape yourself to a wall.

How to rob a bank?

 

[Clock]

Learn how to hack and use a lock pick so you can access the vault system and be sneaky about it.
How do I forget about something? I saw a cursed image earlier and it burns my eyes.