Poem I Made,

[kierraaa-]

Writing Her Suicide Not Was The Hardest Thing She Ever Had To Do,
The Only Words That Came Out Was I'm Going To Miss You.
She Picked Up The Pills, Her Stomach Cramped,
And Her Mind Began To Blur,
Her Father Walked In Her Words Started To Slur
Her Dad Just Looked At Her, And Gave Her A Hug
For The First Time She Didn't Think About Emptiness Or A Drug
For The Love And Bond That They Both Shared
She Knew She Would Be Ok That Someone Cared
She Realized Her Voice Seemed To Be The Echo Of Many,
Her Journey Is Slowly Fading Away, She Listens And Cares,
And Knows The Power Of Having A Voice

-Kierra <3

 

[Pear]

Shweet. :O

 

[kierraaa-]

Shweet. :O

Thanks,!

 

[Ricano]

Very nice :T

 

[kierraaa-]

Very nice :T

<big>Thanks, ;]</big>

 

[AnimalCrossingcool]

I don't know what to say...

 

[kierraaa-]

I don't know what to say...

Mmm Is That Good Or Bad?

 

[coffeebean!]

It's good

 

[kierraaa-]

It's good

Thanks, :]

 

[Shiny]

Some grammatical errors... plus the fact that every word is capitalized, weakens it. However, you have a very good poem going - nice job, and keep telling beautiful stories like this.

 

[kierraaa-]

Some grammatical errors... plus the fact that every word is capitalized, weakens it. However, you have a very good poem going - nice job, and keep telling beautiful stories like this.

Thanks,
And The Typing Is A Habit,

 

[SilentHopes]

Not to be rude or anything, but this sounds like something a drug addict or possible suicider would write

 

[bittermeat]

It's good!

 

[kierraaa-]

It's good!

Thanks, ;T

 

[kierraaa-]

Not to be rude or anything, but this sounds like something a drug addict or possible suicider would write

Well, I'm Neither,

 

[easpa]

I like it.

 

[Marcus]

Writing Her Suicide Not Was The Hardest Thing She Ever Had To Do,
The Only Words That Came Out Was I'm Going To Miss You.
She Picked Up The Pills, Her Stomach Cramped,
And Her Mind Began To Blur,
Her Father Walked In Her Words Started To Slur
Her Dad Just Looked At Her, And Gave Her A Hug
For The First Time She Didn't Think About Emptiness Or A Drug
For The Love And Bond That They Both Shared
She Knew She Would Be Ok That Someone Cared
She Realized Her Voice Seemed To Be The Echo Of Many,
Her Journey Is Slowly Fading Away, She Listens And Cares,
And Knows The Power Of Having A Voice

-Kierra <3

Very nice, be it a bit depressing

Good format, good use of rhymes, you didn't choose words for the sake of making it rhyme, they all linked together well.

Only criticism(about the actual writing, not how it was written on the computer >_<) is that some of the lines are too long, so it loses it's timing.


Overall, 8.5/10.

Also, if you think this is too detailed, I studied poetry at school for 2 terms last year, so I know a lot.

 

[MrCrazyDavis]

Some lines are too long, sorta thing a druggie might consider writing, but it's a solid piece of work. Shows that if you feel suicidal, telling someone is the way forward. I like it.

 

[Neko Yuki Pyrozanryu]

Reminds me of the GD on gaiaonline or 90% of Gaiaonline profiles.
I like it though, Imagerys good.
Nice use of words,
Just put caps in the right places next time.
BTW i used to type like that alot to XD

 

[kierraaa-]

@ #1pokemon master: Thanks,

@sermantop: Thanks, ;]

@CrazyDavis; Thanks,

@ Pyrozanryu: Lol, thanks,