I wasn't going to post in here, but I feel bad for not contributing when I spend so much time here. I don't want to seem like I'm ignorant to the problems. So I'll start off by saying that TBT feels like my own home on the internet. I come here to relax. I'm logged into IRC and I'll have the forum open whenever I've my computer up - and I often read the forums / use IRC from my phone too. Even on my busier days I still end up spending at least 4-5 hours on here. Yesterday I was logged into the IRC for 17 hours.
One problem that strikes me on the forum is the way people go about arguments. It's not the fact they're discussing something that's the problem - it's the fact it leads into people attacking each other. People put each other down for not having the same opinions as them and they don't let issues go even after they've made their point. They also let feelings from previous discussions influence how they treat that person overall - which I think is the reason arguments turn nasty so quickly on here. I've been here a year and I've managed to avoid conflict of that sort. The only time I felt like I was being attacked I resisted the urge to retaliate even though I really wanted to; instead I contacted one of the staff so it wouldn't escalate into anything on the forum, then contacted that person privately to straighten things out. We now get on (not simply tolerating each other - we even speak directly), so I feel like I did the right thing.
I remember, on another forum, when I was 13 (I'm 22 now) I was constantly getting into arguments. Usually it was with the same two 18 year olds. They'd wind me up to no end and instead of just closing the tab I felt like I just had to reply. I felt like if I didn't respond that they'd think I'm weak or that I was just admitting defeat. I wanted to make my point clear and even if they tore it to shreds and call it stupid I'd just keep hammering it. It took me a couple of years to realise that when a discussion gets heated that is the time to step back and really decide if carrying on is really the right thing to do. Even if it's something you're really passionate about there's a time where you need to just call it quits and realise that when a debate escalates into insults and you're getting angry and upset that it's time to stop. It's also not to right to keep spurring on the other person when you see they're getting riled up, no matter how hilarious you might think it is.
As far as the IRC goes, I do think it would help if people were more welcoming and made an effort to take on criticism when it does come up rather than just ignore it. People have expressed when they are feeling left out, or uncomfortable, and it often does go ignored. Personally, I have been trying to tone down something once people say they aren't happy. e.g. when a group of us were playing MK8 last night (around midnight my time, so 7pm EST), I kept quiet because there were other on-going discussions at the time. But when we had been playing much earlier in the day, when the chat was otherwise quiet and there were no other on-going conversations, I got more involved.
I do agree with Ashtot that sometimes people just simply aren't reaching out. They'll come into IRC, and we do greet them, but then they just leave again. Or they say nothing more than "hello". It's hard to speak to people who won't respond. If it's a case of feeling overwhelmed, PMing someone or coming back at a quieter time of the day may help. The first time I went into IRC it was in the morning my time (GMT), so it was pretty quiet, and I quickly got involved in a conversation with Jake., Glaceon, VillageDweller, and Thunder. They definitely made me feel welcome and it was less intimidating because there were only a few people around at the time.
I don't think dividing the IRC users up into more channels would really work, for reasons already stated. It would just encourage clique-y behaviour - and that was already a big problem a couple of months ago. I do really feel like that's been toned down a lot since we acknowledged that it was a problem.
If anyone ever feels out of place in IRC but is up for a chat, they can message me if they'd like.
I'm in chat most of the day and even if I'm not active in #belltree I'm usually available to answer PMs.
One problem that strikes me on the forum is the way people go about arguments. It's not the fact they're discussing something that's the problem - it's the fact it leads into people attacking each other. People put each other down for not having the same opinions as them and they don't let issues go even after they've made their point. They also let feelings from previous discussions influence how they treat that person overall - which I think is the reason arguments turn nasty so quickly on here. I've been here a year and I've managed to avoid conflict of that sort. The only time I felt like I was being attacked I resisted the urge to retaliate even though I really wanted to; instead I contacted one of the staff so it wouldn't escalate into anything on the forum, then contacted that person privately to straighten things out. We now get on (not simply tolerating each other - we even speak directly), so I feel like I did the right thing.
I remember, on another forum, when I was 13 (I'm 22 now) I was constantly getting into arguments. Usually it was with the same two 18 year olds. They'd wind me up to no end and instead of just closing the tab I felt like I just had to reply. I felt like if I didn't respond that they'd think I'm weak or that I was just admitting defeat. I wanted to make my point clear and even if they tore it to shreds and call it stupid I'd just keep hammering it. It took me a couple of years to realise that when a discussion gets heated that is the time to step back and really decide if carrying on is really the right thing to do. Even if it's something you're really passionate about there's a time where you need to just call it quits and realise that when a debate escalates into insults and you're getting angry and upset that it's time to stop. It's also not to right to keep spurring on the other person when you see they're getting riled up, no matter how hilarious you might think it is.
As far as the IRC goes, I do think it would help if people were more welcoming and made an effort to take on criticism when it does come up rather than just ignore it. People have expressed when they are feeling left out, or uncomfortable, and it often does go ignored. Personally, I have been trying to tone down something once people say they aren't happy. e.g. when a group of us were playing MK8 last night (around midnight my time, so 7pm EST), I kept quiet because there were other on-going discussions at the time. But when we had been playing much earlier in the day, when the chat was otherwise quiet and there were no other on-going conversations, I got more involved.
I do agree with Ashtot that sometimes people just simply aren't reaching out. They'll come into IRC, and we do greet them, but then they just leave again. Or they say nothing more than "hello". It's hard to speak to people who won't respond. If it's a case of feeling overwhelmed, PMing someone or coming back at a quieter time of the day may help. The first time I went into IRC it was in the morning my time (GMT), so it was pretty quiet, and I quickly got involved in a conversation with Jake., Glaceon, VillageDweller, and Thunder. They definitely made me feel welcome and it was less intimidating because there were only a few people around at the time.
I don't think dividing the IRC users up into more channels would really work, for reasons already stated. It would just encourage clique-y behaviour - and that was already a big problem a couple of months ago. I do really feel like that's been toned down a lot since we acknowledged that it was a problem.
If anyone ever feels out of place in IRC but is up for a chat, they can message me if they'd like.
I'm in chat most of the day and even if I'm not active in #belltree I'm usually available to answer PMs.
boasting about amazing discoveries? I'm quite confused
