Oh god help us.
Personal Feelings on TBT and recent negativity-- how to fix.
- Thread starter Caius
- Start date
Oh god help us.
ShinySandwich
VIP Member
But this is an ANIMAL CROSSING FORUM, wee need this, mafia, mk8, etc are optional ( we dont need channels for those)
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guys guys guys can I just say something. I find a lot of you here to be lovely human beings. I've always kinda wanted to make some real bonds with people here but haven't really been able to succeed in that objective. I've made about 2 close friends on this forum, 1 not being really active anymore. But I want to become close with a lot of you and that's why, if you're ever feeling down, or having some negative thoughts, please please please come to me because I would love to help you out whether it's to let you rant or help solve a problem I'm always here for you and I hope that I can help anyway possible, and maybe indirectly bring the negativity down a bit. I love you guys!
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You're always welcome Sean <3
And so is everyone else. Thank you for this thread Jamie
Thank you for your continued existence, Pally.
Ace Marvel
Merry & Happy
Well I'm new in this thread so hello everyone!!
I just want to say is that being negative never gets you anywhere, so like just dont... but being more serious here is a list of some tips that might help you:
-There is always to be polite saying thing you dont agree with, just think how you like people to talk to you if they dont agree with you.
-If conversation is not getting somewhere and you feel uncomfortable, just leave, don't encourage for negativity.
- Written words not always express how you feel, so be very carefull how you say thing when you write.
And finally I aint no expert in life, I'm just human, but if anyone, and I mean anyone here feels like they need to take something out of their shoulders, you can count on me to listen to you, feel free to PM, sometimes is easier to talk to strangers, and I will never judge you on your beliefs, lifestyle or preferences in life, so again even If I dont know you I would feel horrible if you leave TBT because of negativity.
I just want to say is that being negative never gets you anywhere, so like just dont... but being more serious here is a list of some tips that might help you:
-There is always to be polite saying thing you dont agree with, just think how you like people to talk to you if they dont agree with you.
-If conversation is not getting somewhere and you feel uncomfortable, just leave, don't encourage for negativity.
- Written words not always express how you feel, so be very carefull how you say thing when you write.
And finally I aint no expert in life, I'm just human, but if anyone, and I mean anyone here feels like they need to take something out of their shoulders, you can count on me to listen to you, feel free to PM, sometimes is easier to talk to strangers, and I will never judge you on your beliefs, lifestyle or preferences in life, so again even If I dont know you I would feel horrible if you leave TBT because of negativity.
If it's anything, I like you from what I've seen. You shouldn't not go in if you want to go in that is! I've never heard a bad word about you!
aw thanks (i always thought you disliked me a little omg) idk i go in like sometimes but that was like months ago. i feel like i have kinda tension with some regular IRC people so yeah but maybe ill drop in or something idk
First off I wanted to say that I'm really glad that you guys were able to keep it together and going while I took a nap. I've noticed a lot of the problems that people bringing up is IRC cliques and segregation.
Yes, we do have cliques on the irc. I see no reason why anyone should feel excluded though. Alice for example. When I met her, she had simply sent me a PM and we began to talk. That's it. That's all it takes to get in and be included. Questions are welcome, answers are available, and you will realize that though it may look like there's a clique, what you're really looking at is the spur of the moment bond from conversation of a nature that involves similar interests. Everyone, and I mean everyone is welcome. Just remember, you can't send PM's unless you have a registered nick, so once you register buddy up with someone to teach you the ropes and you'll have someone there to help you integrate. I love you guys, but you need to keep in mind it takes two to tango.
As for the Skype groups, I'm not going to moderate you on Skype. That's your business. When you're talking about people behind their back and treating them awfully, and they're noticing something in the chat... or on the forum.. because of something that people have said.. That's when I draw the line. They're a person, even if you don't like them. Don't talk about them. Don't cause them issues. This isn't school. That makes you a bully.
As for the Ban Cory thing, I'd like to see that stop, but Cory you need to make an effort to make people see you seriously. I warned the user starting it, but you didn't say anything that made the situation any better. You're both adding fuel to a fire. Stop. What's the point of that? If you feel attacked, talk to a mod. Don't just make it worse.
Easier said in concept than practice for some people, but thank you for offering to help people personally. You're taking a step to ensure members feel comfortable and it's appreciated. Just remember.. with great power comes great responsibility.
As for the IRC, I also feel left out when it comes to MK8, but I keep in mind also that I play the minecraft server, so while I talk about that, other people may feel left out because they're not in on it. Everyone has their niche. What you guys should remember is that we keep it to one room because it's a general chat. If you're not in on something, try and start a convo on something else! It's not unusual to see 2-3 conversations going on at once. There's also the option of making your own IRC room. As long as it's not being used to talk about people behind their backs, you can definitely create a smaller room for you and a few others you're comfortable with to get used to the IRC. We're here for you.
Yes, we do have cliques on the irc. I see no reason why anyone should feel excluded though. Alice for example. When I met her, she had simply sent me a PM and we began to talk. That's it. That's all it takes to get in and be included. Questions are welcome, answers are available, and you will realize that though it may look like there's a clique, what you're really looking at is the spur of the moment bond from conversation of a nature that involves similar interests. Everyone, and I mean everyone is welcome. Just remember, you can't send PM's unless you have a registered nick, so once you register buddy up with someone to teach you the ropes and you'll have someone there to help you integrate. I love you guys, but you need to keep in mind it takes two to tango.
As for the Skype groups, I'm not going to moderate you on Skype. That's your business. When you're talking about people behind their back and treating them awfully, and they're noticing something in the chat... or on the forum.. because of something that people have said.. That's when I draw the line. They're a person, even if you don't like them. Don't talk about them. Don't cause them issues. This isn't school. That makes you a bully.
As for the Ban Cory thing, I'd like to see that stop, but Cory you need to make an effort to make people see you seriously. I warned the user starting it, but you didn't say anything that made the situation any better. You're both adding fuel to a fire. Stop. What's the point of that? If you feel attacked, talk to a mod. Don't just make it worse.
Easier said in concept than practice for some people, but thank you for offering to help people personally. You're taking a step to ensure members feel comfortable and it's appreciated. Just remember.. with great power comes great responsibility.
As for the IRC, I also feel left out when it comes to MK8, but I keep in mind also that I play the minecraft server, so while I talk about that, other people may feel left out because they're not in on it. Everyone has their niche. What you guys should remember is that we keep it to one room because it's a general chat. If you're not in on something, try and start a convo on something else! It's not unusual to see 2-3 conversations going on at once. There's also the option of making your own IRC room. As long as it's not being used to talk about people behind their backs, you can definitely create a smaller room for you and a few others you're comfortable with to get used to the IRC. We're here for you.
I haven't really been that active for a few weeks, so I'm not 100% sure what happened/is happening, but the negativity and bitterness of some people just kinda drove me away. This forum is not like it used to be, the community has changed a lot. And there's way too much salt.
Cory is a good egg.
I feel the same wow.
You should come up with a way to reintegrate yourself. When it comes to you personally, I've seen you share a lot of differing opinions with people. Maybe you should try and remember to keep an open mind and remember that everyone has something to say. Who knows, maybe someone you weren't aware of that you've never spoken with could share some of your feelings on topics. You never know until you jump into something with an open mind. We all need to take steps like this to quell negativity. Think positive, be respectful, and try and be happy no matter what the situation is-- happy that there's a diverse group willing to listen.
Shirohibiki
it's a beautiful bikini bottom day!
hm. i havent particularly felt or seen much negativity, personally, but ive seen it in the past. i do know one thing, though
i, myself, have been tending to bark more often than i used to. is that my normal personality coming out because im comfortable? i dont know. my depression is off the charts, and i feel like im not the same person people used to like. i fear that ive grown more bitter, more cold, and more annoying and that people just dont want much to do with me. im sure its all in my head, but i almost feel... guilty, for letting my depression take over. idk i know this isnt really. about tbt and im whining about myself lol but, i mean it in the way that i feel like ive been a disappointment to people. i dont want that, but this change seems irreversible. i wouldnt want to look at my post history, itd only make me sad.
im sure the mods also dislike how snappy i can be, and i just.
truthfully, i love most people here and i value you all, and treasure you all. but ive been moving away a little, because i havent even been playing AC, and im burnt out and i feel sick and tired all the time.
im just sorry to those who may be disappointed over my personality 'change'. and to those who dont get to see the more lively, happy side of me. and to the mods who have to clean up the remains of me barking at someone. ive not been the best forum dog, certainly not best in show, but ill try to be a little more positive. i can be too cynical for this world sometimes. so im sorry guys, know that i love you regardless of how loud i bark.
i, myself, have been tending to bark more often than i used to. is that my normal personality coming out because im comfortable? i dont know. my depression is off the charts, and i feel like im not the same person people used to like. i fear that ive grown more bitter, more cold, and more annoying and that people just dont want much to do with me. im sure its all in my head, but i almost feel... guilty, for letting my depression take over. idk i know this isnt really. about tbt and im whining about myself lol but, i mean it in the way that i feel like ive been a disappointment to people. i dont want that, but this change seems irreversible. i wouldnt want to look at my post history, itd only make me sad.
im sure the mods also dislike how snappy i can be, and i just.
truthfully, i love most people here and i value you all, and treasure you all. but ive been moving away a little, because i havent even been playing AC, and im burnt out and i feel sick and tired all the time.
im just sorry to those who may be disappointed over my personality 'change'. and to those who dont get to see the more lively, happy side of me. and to the mods who have to clean up the remains of me barking at someone. ive not been the best forum dog, certainly not best in show, but ill try to be a little more positive. i can be too cynical for this world sometimes. so im sorry guys, know that i love you regardless of how loud i bark.
I've tried really, but I'm not sure it's worth my time and effort. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of an Animal Crossing forum? There are other sites I visit where I enjoy the community more and I connect really well with other people. The community here just feels kinda split up and awkward to me. And I'm not gonna blame it on the "clique", but it does exist. I don't really know where I'm going with this because I'm half-dead from a Skyrim binge, but yeah. We all need to keep in mind that everyone has a different perception of the community based on their own experiences.
Izzy Reincarnated
ボケ！！！！&#
There isn't any negativity here at all. I understand some people may have insecurities and fear and want to get it out on other people but aint nobody got time for dat.
I want to apologise for my post yesterday, I was tired and I don't feel if was worthy.
I don't know why everyone is leaving at the momment. It makes me upset because I had friendships with these, and I will really miss them. I dont know why they leave.
I think we should become better at being friends. I think that that is the problem.
I don't know why everyone is leaving at the momment. It makes me upset because I had friendships with these, and I will really miss them. I dont know why they leave.
I think we should become better at being friends. I think that that is the problem.
oath2order
#Porygon2024
Okay, I didn't actually intend on posting in here, but I'm playing RuneScape right now, mining is boring, and I figured I might as well post.
I've been trying to be a little more mature the past few weeks. It's hard, changing your behavior is difficult. I mean, one of the things I've done was apologize to people I felt like I've insulted or been overly rude to.
I honestly don't know what to do now, other than to watch my words.
I've been trying to be a little more mature the past few weeks. It's hard, changing your behavior is difficult. I mean, one of the things I've done was apologize to people I felt like I've insulted or been overly rude to.
I honestly don't know what to do now, other than to watch my words.
Ace Marvel
Merry & Happy
I live by this "smile at a stranger and then walk away, you'll never know, but you made thier day" thats all it takes sometimes to really make someone feel good about themselves, and yeah great power comes with great responsability, but I rather be wrong for trying than being right for just standing, like I said I'm no expert in life, but if someone feels that will help them, I will be the happiest person.
So here's a brief list of things that have come up and been discussed:
FORUM:
-Cliques
-Negative Nancies/Wet Noodles
-Unwelcome
-Outside Stress
-Lack Of Friends
-Lack Of Interest
-Scared Of People
-Lack of Good Communication
-Rivalries
So what can we take from this.. people aren't going to be expected to all like each other, and it's been stated that no-- you can't simply ignore a simple person because eventually you will snap at them. It's not fair to anyone to blow up like that. I find a lack of non-opinionated discussion has become the bane of this forum. It's all arguments, no solutions, and lately it's not even discussions. Look around brewsters. What do you see? What I see are a bunch of self-centered posts that care nothing for the people in the thread and users that will use any excuse necessary to ignore everyone else and simply talk about themselves. When was the last time we had a good "everyone gets responded to" discussion? When was the last time we've been on a topic as sensitive as this and it hasn't turned into an awful argument?
Those with a lack of friends, I think that is a reason why. No one's putting the effort forward to make them. It may also be part of the clique issue. Maybe if we see someone post in a thread, and we agree with them, or find that that kind of person is who you'd like to become friends with it may be time to put forth some effort to speak with them privately.. actually get to know them.
A lot of people have said they're not interested in friends. That's okay too! I really hope that doesn't deter you from actually participating in the community though, and you're still being a wonderful person, no matter what you're doing. Just because you don't have any close relationships doesn't mean people don't want to get to know you.
We should all probably be putting more effort into getting to know the new users. I'm wary of them myself, because I tend to become attached to people fast, and then I become opinionated. I have opinions on people that I hear other things about that honestly scare me, but I don't want to judge them by things others have said.. I want to come to my own conclusions, and that delusion has come back to bite me before. I don't want that to happen to others, but it's going to, and it's going to make someone feel put out or left out eventually.
IRC:
-Cliques
-Unwelcome
-Unable To Keep Up
-Disgusted With the Content
-Too Many Topics
The first thing I want to address about the IRC is that it's meant to be more mature discussion, which can put people off. There's a difference between mature topics and just being a jerk though. I still stand by the fact that if a topic bothers you, you need to tell someone. Chances are it's bothering someone else that won't speak up. That's where we have the cliques come in. Cliques tend to be groups of friends that are unsatisfied with the IRC itself, so they make their own groups. I can honestly say I have no problems with that as long as they're welcoming of others that share their opinions. I'm guilty of it too-- having a small group of friends I will focus all of my energy on. It happens everywhere. The point is: Are they using that power to create a welcoming environment to others that may want to join, or are they rejecting everyone?
It's been suggested separate rooms be made for games like Mafia and MK8. I've considered just a general gaming room instead of the main chat that everyone would be welcome to, which saves the main chat from being so fast paced and unwelcoming. The thing with that, is that we have one chat button. People aren't going to read the rules, and they're going to join the main chat and bring it right back to where it was. It's not worth it. The mods are on the IRC most of the time to relax themselves, so we don't want to have to be kicking people all day. If you can't keep up, I think you should just ask what the topics are that are being discussed, make an active attempt to include yourself, and if you're still not satisfied, the IRC might just not be the place for you.. sometimes it isn't the place for me either, but topics move. That's the beauty of IRC.
You posted what you needed to say. Some people come back, and maybe if people see an active attempt is being made to change how things are done and how welcoming we are.. and destroying the negative vibes, people will be more inclined to return. Everyone has to be willing to make this change though, not only one or two of us.
Everyone needs to be able to admit their faults and instead of sitting here telling people what they are, they need to consider what they can do to be an asset to the community. Telling people what makes you un-approachable doesn't do anything, it's a statement. However, telling people that you're willing to change X and Y about your approach does say something about your devotion to the community.
I'm glad you think so, but there are loads of negative things going on right now.
As stated before, it takes personal effort to make something worthwhile, so if you feel as if you're not wanting to put forth the effort towards positivity and welcoming in order to make friends and be more comfortable, I'm sorry but others aren't going to want to put forth effort either. It's a two way street. I can understand being tired though, so why don't you sleep on it and come back with a fresh head before really sticking to that kind of statement. It doesn't make me think any less of you, but from an outside perspective I wouldn't want to take my time getting to know you if that's how you felt about it.
Do or do not, there is no try. Apologies are a great first step! Just remember to be mindful of others, how they feel, and what their beliefs are. I know you can, I've seen you do it. You're trying, and that does count.
FORUM:
-Cliques
-Negative Nancies/Wet Noodles
-Unwelcome
-Outside Stress
-Lack Of Friends
-Lack Of Interest
-Scared Of People
-Lack of Good Communication
-Rivalries
So what can we take from this.. people aren't going to be expected to all like each other, and it's been stated that no-- you can't simply ignore a simple person because eventually you will snap at them. It's not fair to anyone to blow up like that. I find a lack of non-opinionated discussion has become the bane of this forum. It's all arguments, no solutions, and lately it's not even discussions. Look around brewsters. What do you see? What I see are a bunch of self-centered posts that care nothing for the people in the thread and users that will use any excuse necessary to ignore everyone else and simply talk about themselves. When was the last time we had a good "everyone gets responded to" discussion? When was the last time we've been on a topic as sensitive as this and it hasn't turned into an awful argument?
Those with a lack of friends, I think that is a reason why. No one's putting the effort forward to make them. It may also be part of the clique issue. Maybe if we see someone post in a thread, and we agree with them, or find that that kind of person is who you'd like to become friends with it may be time to put forth some effort to speak with them privately.. actually get to know them.
A lot of people have said they're not interested in friends. That's okay too! I really hope that doesn't deter you from actually participating in the community though, and you're still being a wonderful person, no matter what you're doing. Just because you don't have any close relationships doesn't mean people don't want to get to know you.
We should all probably be putting more effort into getting to know the new users. I'm wary of them myself, because I tend to become attached to people fast, and then I become opinionated. I have opinions on people that I hear other things about that honestly scare me, but I don't want to judge them by things others have said.. I want to come to my own conclusions, and that delusion has come back to bite me before. I don't want that to happen to others, but it's going to, and it's going to make someone feel put out or left out eventually.
IRC:
-Cliques
-Unwelcome
-Unable To Keep Up
-Disgusted With the Content
-Too Many Topics
The first thing I want to address about the IRC is that it's meant to be more mature discussion, which can put people off. There's a difference between mature topics and just being a jerk though. I still stand by the fact that if a topic bothers you, you need to tell someone. Chances are it's bothering someone else that won't speak up. That's where we have the cliques come in. Cliques tend to be groups of friends that are unsatisfied with the IRC itself, so they make their own groups. I can honestly say I have no problems with that as long as they're welcoming of others that share their opinions. I'm guilty of it too-- having a small group of friends I will focus all of my energy on. It happens everywhere. The point is: Are they using that power to create a welcoming environment to others that may want to join, or are they rejecting everyone?
It's been suggested separate rooms be made for games like Mafia and MK8. I've considered just a general gaming room instead of the main chat that everyone would be welcome to, which saves the main chat from being so fast paced and unwelcoming. The thing with that, is that we have one chat button. People aren't going to read the rules, and they're going to join the main chat and bring it right back to where it was. It's not worth it. The mods are on the IRC most of the time to relax themselves, so we don't want to have to be kicking people all day. If you can't keep up, I think you should just ask what the topics are that are being discussed, make an active attempt to include yourself, and if you're still not satisfied, the IRC might just not be the place for you.. sometimes it isn't the place for me either, but topics move. That's the beauty of IRC.
You posted what you needed to say. Some people come back, and maybe if people see an active attempt is being made to change how things are done and how welcoming we are.. and destroying the negative vibes, people will be more inclined to return. Everyone has to be willing to make this change though, not only one or two of us.
Everyone needs to be able to admit their faults and instead of sitting here telling people what they are, they need to consider what they can do to be an asset to the community. Telling people what makes you un-approachable doesn't do anything, it's a statement. However, telling people that you're willing to change X and Y about your approach does say something about your devotion to the community.
I'm glad you think so, but there are loads of negative things going on right now.
As stated before, it takes personal effort to make something worthwhile, so if you feel as if you're not wanting to put forth the effort towards positivity and welcoming in order to make friends and be more comfortable, I'm sorry but others aren't going to want to put forth effort either. It's a two way street. I can understand being tired though, so why don't you sleep on it and come back with a fresh head before really sticking to that kind of statement. It doesn't make me think any less of you, but from an outside perspective I wouldn't want to take my time getting to know you if that's how you felt about it.
Do or do not, there is no try. Apologies are a great first step! Just remember to be mindful of others, how they feel, and what their beliefs are. I know you can, I've seen you do it. You're trying, and that does count.
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Here is my infraction PM in full:
I'm not going to be part of a community that encourages such a stupid mindset. If you say something, you better be prepared to back it up. Playing the "it's my opinion" card should not be encouraged because it's a terribly weak argument that will get you NOWHERE in the real world. Apparently whoever infracted me is incapable of reading the context of the situation. Yes, I called him a stupid assravaging ******, to make a point in response to this:
So enjoy the forum, because this has set the precedent that everyone must pussyfoot around everyone else, for fear of offending someone's opinion.
Resetti said:
I'm not going to be part of a community that encourages such a stupid mindset. If you say something, you better be prepared to back it up. Playing the "it's my opinion" card should not be encouraged because it's a terribly weak argument that will get you NOWHERE in the real world. Apparently whoever infracted me is incapable of reading the context of the situation. Yes, I called him a stupid assravaging ******, to make a point in response to this:
So I call him an assravaging ******, in my opinion. You can see how unacceptable it is, and there is no defence for that. Just because it's an opinion doesn't mean it's valid. But, being the hypocrite he is, he reports it, because the whole "it's my opinion" card only works one way.
So enjoy the forum, because this has set the precedent that everyone must pussyfoot around everyone else, for fear of offending someone's opinion.
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