Personal Feelings on TBT and recent negativity-- how to fix.

[Caius]

Started in the "Pet Peeves" thread, people started talking about recent personal negativity, to the point where they're debating on leaving. Since it's a conversation people were actually inputting feelings on, not just stating and leaving, and actually getting somewhere with, I think it's a good idea to discuss it here to prevent further off topic.

So let's get to some personal growth.

 

[Bowie]

Karla needed this.

 

[CookingOkasan]

^^that's very unnecessary....^^

 

[Caius]

Lately, pretty much everyone (myself included, let's not even lie) needs this.

 

[Liquid Ocelot]

It's the internet.

What would you like to do? Ban everyone who comes off a little cranky?

If someone can't handle what is mostly other people's drama by ignoring it or doing their own thing, then idk what they think they're doing on a forum or the internet in general.

 

[Bowie]

^^that's very unnecessary....^^

Well, it's true.

 

[Caius]

It's the internet.

What would you like to do? Ban everyone who comes off a little cranky?

If someone can't handle what is mostly other people's drama by ignoring it or doing their own thing, then idk what they think they're doing on a forum or the internet in general.

That's not what we're talking about though. We're not talking about banning anyone for being negative, but instead trying to expose our own personal faults and maybe get some community driven advice on how to fix the issue instead of ignoring that it's a problem. That kind of attitude is really what one of the issues is.. ignoring other peoples problems when they're part of your day to day life. Everyone should make an effort at least once a day to help someone out.

 

[Alice]

Oh, you didn't have to. I may have been being a bit picky, but you did, so I may as well christen it.

I'm massively depressive and bitter. I live a pretty dull shell. I have extensive self-doubt, and personal contempt. I let it show sometimes in my... glowing optimism, but I try not to let it dictate how I treat others. For awhile I was without many friends, and my healing and growth was stinted. Lately, however, as I've stated in the favourite members thread, I've met a lot of people here, and it's impressive to me that I'm actually able to stay. I want to come back each and everyday. I never wanted to stay like this, but I've gotten far too used to it.

I may be addicted because I'm starting to feel like myself again, and sometimes the pain just kind of gets lost in my head. It's nice.

However lately I've been a bit of lull. I haven't had many people to talk to, but I accredit it to everyone being busy and me not being busy. I'm sort of like a mixed bag sometimes; at times I can be a smart ass, other times, I can be sweet. Not in extremes, but the swings are always there.

 

[Caius]

Oh, you didn't have to. I may have been being a bit picky, but you did, so I may as well christen it.

I'm massively depressive and bitter. I live a pretty dull shell. I have extensive self-doubt, and personal contempt. I let it show sometimes in my... glowing optimism, but I try not to let it dictate how I treat others. For awhile I was without many friends, and my healing and growth was stinted. Lately, however, as I've stated in the favourite members thread, I've met a lot of people here, and it's impressive to me that I'm actually able to stay. I want to come back each and everyday. I never wanted to stay like this, but I've gotten far too used to it.

I may be addicted because I'm starting to feel like myself again, and sometimes the pain just kind of gets lost in my head. It's nice.

However lately I've been a bit of lull. I haven't had many people to talk to, but I accredit it to everyone being busy and me not being busy. I'm sort of like a mixed back sometimes; at times I can be a smart ass, other times, I can be sweet. Not in extremes, but the swings are always there.

I know I've been ignoring you a lot, because of work and trying to cram down as much of it as I can to assure a paycheck, but I really do feel bad about not being able to spend as much time with you as I used to. I miss when we used to just have silly conversations that weren't super-mega-deep and laughing at things, but like you said, we all go through our stuff and both of us have lately. I really hope you can find more people to be close to though, because your well-being worries me. I want you to feel welcome.

 

[CookingOkasan]

Well, it's true.

I don't really know whatever beef you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.

 

[EpicGamer12]

I haven't felt any negativity lately, especially in the IRC, which I find a great bonus. About negativity, I think the general boundary line if you're trying to not start a fight is, if you feel like the thing you're saying is not contributing to discussion, it will generally be negative. If you are criticizing people for their opinions by calling them names or saying their opinion is stupid, it is a surefire way to create tension between members. While discussing thoughts is perfectly fine, saying they are wrong just because you disagree is usually not.

 

[Bowie]

I don't really know whatever beef you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.

I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.

 

[Alice]

I know I've been ignoring you a lot, because of work and trying to cram down as much of it as I can to assure a paycheck, but I really do feel bad about not being able to spend as much time with you as I used to. I miss when we used to just have silly conversations that weren't super-mega-deep and laughing at things, but like you said, we all go through our stuff and both of us have lately. I really hope you can find more people to be close to though, because your well-being worries me. I want you to feel welcome.

Ah, don't worry about it. I'm well versed on how nothing can remain too static. I need something to take up my time, is all. I'm happy you're busy and working hard. Please don't feel bad.

 

[CookingOkasan]

I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.

I'm sure your frustration was warranted. I'm just a grump today for ~father's day~ reasons.

also agree with Alice

 

[Alice]

I'm fine with that, although sad we won't be able to have any kind of a relationship. I'm not going to repeat what Karla said to me, but, if you've already read through the conversion I had with him, you should be able to understand why I feel the way I do.

Regardless, It's ironic you would do this. Let it go. Don't talk about Karla behind his back, please.

 

[Caius]

I don't really know whatever beef you and han had going and it's not really anyone's place to ask about it but he's gone now and it's over and he was a friend to a lot of users. I'm going to go ahead and ignore this thread and bowie from now on since that's the suggested means of handling things. My personal fault is that I'm simply not a fan of bowie I will make a daily effort to help both of us out by appreciating the space between us and not crossing it. That's totally acceptable and understandable.

I think the whole Karla thing needs to stop being brought up. I'm sorry everything had a falling out, but when it comes to two people not being able to work well with each other, it happens. You're more than welcome to keep contributing to the thread otherwise.

I haven't felt any negativity lately, especially in the IRC, which I find a great bonus. About negativity, I think the general boundary line if you're trying to not start a fight is, if you feel like the thing you're saying is not contributing to discussion, it will generally be negative. If you are criticizing people for their opinions by calling them names or saying their opinion is stupid, it is a surefire way to create tension between members. While discussing thoughts is perfectly fine, saying they are wrong just because you disagree is usually not.

I agree with this wholeheartedly, at the same time sometimes something needs to be said-- not criticism but critique. The general rule for critique is for everything bad you point out, you need to even it out with something good. There's been some tension lately, and I attribute some of it to mafia or just simply not feeling welcomed in new members cases. The mods have even started working on ways to try and make people more comfortable before something blows up.

You're really lucky you haven't had any negative feelings. I'm glad everything is good with you though, it shows that there's some good happening from everything. About the irc, I've started to feel like it's spammy and some of the chat has just become impossible to get into from people being rude or unwelcome. That may be from my inability to be around all that often lately, however.

Ah, don't worry about it. I'm well versed on how nothing can remain too static. I need something to take up my time, is all. I'm happy you're busy and working hard. Please don't feel bad.

We're still doing something for your birthday. Keep making a list of people and think about what you want to do so we can have some fun.

 

[Stevey Queen]

I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways

Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.

But I been trying to be better by being kinder in my posts and talking to random people on this forum. And I'm hoping that one day I'll get on the IRC and communicate with people and get to know them better despite the fact that I have social anxieties and not good at conversing with other people.

Yah I don't know if that had anything to do with this thread but it said personal feelings and that's how I felt..

 

[Alice]

Will do. I've been thinking about it.

I kind of feel bad about nailing you down though. :x

- - - Post Merge - - -

I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways

Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.

But I been trying to be better by being kinder in my posts and talking to random people on this forum. And I'm hoping that one day I'll get on the IRC and communicate with people and get to know them better despite the fact that I have social anxieties and not good at conversing with other people.

Yah I don't know if that had anything to do with this thread but it said personal feelings and that's how I felt..

Yes, this fits in line with the threads purpose. The IRC can get kind of lively, I hope it doesn't scare you off.

 

[Bowie]

I'm sure your frustration was warranted. I'm just a grump today for ~father's day~ reasons.

also agree with Alice

Regardless, It's ironic you would do this. Let it go. Don't talk about Karla behind his back, please.

I understand.

 

[Kildor]

I don't know if I completely understand the objective of this thread but I'll say something anyways

Up until a few days ago I really felt like leaving this forum. Not because anybody was mean to me but because I felt very lonely and an outcast on this forum. Nobody talked to me. And a lot of my posts are somewhat mean or stupid so usually nobody responds to me. So I felt like I was just wasting time on here.

But I been trying to be better by being kinder in my posts and talking to random people on this forum. And I'm hoping that one day I'll get on the IRC and communicate with people and get to know them better despite the fact that I have social anxieties and not good at conversing with other people.

Yah I don't know if that had anything to do with this thread but it said personal feelings and that's how I felt..

Join us in the IRC! I'm new to it too, but trust me the people there are super nice and funny haha. Irc u cray <3