Personal Feelings on TBT and recent negativity-- how to fix.

[Caius]

Honestly, I just want people to be more comfortable. I don't mean to dig up negativity, but I want to try and help spin it into something positive. Ocelot, sometimes letting people sort something out for themselves makes it worse for them. For an introvert, that's a good way to approach things, but for extroverts that draw their energy from positivity around them sometimes talking about what's bothering them can help them come to a better conclusion on how to make their time here worthwhile.

When you think about it TBT is a time sink. In the long-run, you're not going to really do anything here that benefits you, and usually in a few years people realize that and leave. When you talk about things with the community and try and bring out something that brings people closer together as friends, that time sink becomes something worthwhile because you've made connections that really help you feel welcome and give you something to look forward to.

Chibiusa, it isn't only people rubbing people the wrong way that makes them want to leave. It's other stuff as well. The only way it can be fixed is if we know what the issues are. I like your post and you make a very good point, especially with real-world application. Most of our members are younger and don't truly understand you can't run away from your problems, though. Thank you for posting, even if you don't really care to make friends here. I think you underestimate that people may actually want to get to know more about you though.

MisterEnigma, I agree on what you say about confrontations. I admit I did make a confession on the TBT confessions blog, and I actually regret it immensely. It was dumb of me, and it wasn't something I should have done. We all make mistakes. When it comes to chatting, do what you're comfortable with, but if you need to talk there are people here that don't want to ignore you.

Flop, it's something that happens. There's groups of friends that have known each other for 20 years that start having this very same issue. I just think it needs to be an active participation on everyone's part to make everything work again.

On one hand I agree with Chibiusa, and on the other hand I don't. Yeah, in school and at your job, you are forced to deal with horrible people, that's life. But in your spare time, in the small fraction of your day when you just want to kick back and relax and I don't know, go to your favorite forum or social media site, who wants to deal with negativity and drama there too? That's like biting into pie only to realize its filled with nails. Nobody likes nails in pie. For a lot of people, the internet is a means of escape, and often the only means. Nobody is saying everyone has to be rainbows and puppies all the time, but to be treated decently might be an okay thing to shoot for on an Animal Crossing forum. I think that's mostly the point of this thread.

This is exactly what the point of this thread is

I'm not entirely sure if I understand this thread properly, so I guess I'll post my thoughts..?

I don't usually like bothering people with my problems, so I try my best to express myself without making it obvious.
Like most people, I joined the forum with the big wave of New Leaf crossers. Since then, TBT has become more than a simple 'Animal Crossing place', but almost a support. Online friends are just as valuable to me as real real life ones, and there are pretty high limits/chances I'd take for them.

I've never had the thoughts of leaving because I know I'd regret leaving behind so many wonderful friends. It's not something I'd want to do in real life, or online.
Sometimes I randomly VM people who I've never spoken to before. Making new friends is something I'm working on, because it's one of my weaknesses.
Sure some people don't always answer and I may be ignored sometimes, but at least I had the chance to ask them how they're doing. c: A lot of the time I do get an answer though, and I've made a bunch of great friends because of it.

The sad thing is that as more people come, people start to go and move on. It's been more over the past couple of weeks that a lot of friends have left because of quarrels, negativity etc. I guess it's down to them though, and how they're feeling.
I want people to be happy.

If I posted wrong or misunderstood, then oops sorry! =P Just thought I'd post my thoughts on the whole negativity, friends/fall-outs thing and what it means to me.

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Oh and overall, I still see TBT as a nice community to be part of. It may be the stress of exams that are part of the whole negativity thing.

Edit, edit: I have no grudges against anyone here either ~ just saying! Sorry for my wall of text too. So many thoughts...

Nice input. I'm glad you're not having any problems making friends. I'm not sure if it's exams or not. I haven't had to take any lately, but being tired does happen to everyone and it can really effect the way someone acts. You got the point right Don't worry about it.

 

[Kaiaa]

I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity.

If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.

 

[EpicGamer12]

Not going to quote Jamie's post because it's so long, but one thing that has stopped me from engaging in chat in the IRC lately is the lack of effort people put into talking. It actually bothers me a lot when people take up 4-5 lines to say one sentence and makes it tough to follow the conversation. That, and the lack of grammar personally bother me. They're all still great people, but my brain usually tends to skip over things like that, as I'm sure some people are similar to me in that sense.

 

[MrPicklez]

I'm kind of amazed that people are contemplating leaving just because a few people rub them the wrong way. This is a forum--you don't have a gun to your head forcing you to talk to people you don't want to talk to. In life there's going to be plenty of people that don't like you and vice versa. You can't always just solve that by running away, especially in a place like, I don't know, the workplace. You just have to learn to either ignore it or not let it get to you and move on. They're just one person out of the hundreds that exist. You have to let the positive people overshadow the negative, and although that's not always easy, it's doable.

I haven't made any friends on here because I don't really care to and I haven't actively tried to. That's not going to make me want to leave the forum. I like the community as a whole--that's what matters to me. I don't let the very small fraction of constantly negative/annoying people bother me--I just graze over their posts, mentally roll my eyes, and move on. With drama, it takes two, usually. Just don't get yourself involved and walk away from the matter and you're good. At least, in my experience.

While I wholeheartedly agree with you on some of your points, it's completely different when you're in the same chat room every day with them. You can't really avoid anyone in there. Sure you can set them to "ignore" or whatever, but it's not gonna change the fact that those negative people are in there with you as well.

 

[Alice]

I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity.

If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.

you've been a terrible person and I h8 u

... did you think I was serious?

don't worry about it Kaiaa. We all have our off periods.

p.s. u r a qtpie

 

[Caius]

I feel like I've just been pretty rude and off the wall the passed few weeks, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like my normal self. I apologize if I've annoyed any of you or said rude things. I've tried my best not to but sometimes I just snap. I hope you all can forgive me. I know that it's my job to make the Bell Tree a fun place to be, not add to the negativity.

If there is anything I can do myself to make experiences on the Bell Tree more pleasurable please don't hesitate to let me know.

Isn't it weird that so much bad Juju has been going around though? I've personally snapped a few times in the last week which is one of the reasons I'm not here very much, and there's pretty much nothing but personal issues that have come up to warrant it.

Not going to quote Jamie's post because it's so long, but one thing that has stopped me from engaging in chat in the IRC lately is the lack of effort people put into talking. It actually bothers me a lot when people take up 4-5 lines to say one sentence and makes it tough to follow the conversation. That, and the lack of grammar personally bother me. They're all still great people, but my brain usually tends to skip over things like that, as I'm sure some people are similar to me in that sense.

Huh, I didn't realize that's why I didn't see you around so much anymore. Most of the time people see irc as a 'im' speedfire program, which is still kind of weird to me as it's been one of my main forms of communication for so long. I'll work on my grammar though, I tend to forget capitals and periods when I'm trying to type out an idea to keep up with the flow of chat. It's hard to moderate the irc to that specific point just because there's so much at once, but a higher quality really couldn't hurt.

 

[Gnome]

I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.

 

[Caius]

I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.

Come back to us

 

[Byngo]

For the most part, I find this community to be one of the better online forums out there. Usually I don't feel any negativity towards people and I don't feel negativity coming towards me. There are some exceptions to that of course - but any negativity usually blows over in a couple days. As for the IRC, sometimes I feel a little left out... Not all the time, I mean I'm usually amongst everyone talking, but for example: I asked a question yesterday and it was buried under another convo. I felt it would've been rude to just butt in so I left. ;_;

As for personal flaws, oh I'm sure there's many that I am aware of and aren't aware of. One that comes to mind is I can let petty things get me so enraged it's not even funny. Some people here probably know what I'm talking about when I say that I would get quite worked up about TT'ing and wether it's considered cheating or not.

 

[Lady Timpani]

The ACNL confession blog was pretty gross to look at on tumblr too, half of those messages are directed to specific members here. If people have honest to goodness problems with someone here, it should either be stated in a PM or just ignore that person that bothers you.

That blog gave me such a negative view of TBT, it's ridiculous. For awhile I stayed clear of here because of it. I've found that, for the most part, people on here are cool. There are some negative people, but any online community has its idiots.

 

[Caius]

For the most part, I find this community to be one of the better online forums out there. Usually I don't feel any negativity towards people and I don't feel negativity coming towards me. There are some exceptions to that of course - but any negativity usually blows over in a couple days. As for the IRC, sometimes I feel a little left out... Not all the time, I mean I'm usually amongst everyone talking, but for example: I asked a question yesterday and it was buried under another convo. I felt it would've been rude to just butt in so I left. ;_;

As for personal flaws, oh I'm sure there's many that I am aware of and aren't aware of. One that comes to mind is I can let petty things get me so enraged it's not even funny. Some people here probably know what I'm talking about when I say that I would get quite worked up about TT'ing and wether it's considered cheating or not.

I'm sorry you feel left out. It's something I've noticed from a lot of people here... a main concern. There's a lot of threads even on the forum that are so one sided it feels like there's no point in posting because it's a 'me me me' thing. It's one of the situations I'm not happy with.. and it's difficult to find threads where you're actually going to get a real response most of the time.

 

[Bowie]

I feel as though I'm looking at a community that I don't belong to anymore; it has been too long.

You used to have an avatar of David Bowie, did you not? Bring it back, and we'll be friends for life.

 

[Oblivia]

Overall, I think that TBT is a very positive and welcoming community, and I've enjoyed my time here immensely. I'm part of many online communities, most if not all of which are far more negative and elitist than TBT. I can't say that I haven't noticed a recent influx of negativity lately however, and I feel that it'd be difficult to pinpoint an exact cause with a community this size. Perhaps it's due to the younger members being stressed about exams, or IRL issues that bleed into the interactions people have while online. There's also the fact that it's very easy to let one or two negative people taint the entire vibe of a thread/conversation/etc., regardless of whether or not the majority of people have positive attitudes. Whatever the reason, I think it's great that the staff is trying to get to the root cause and make some positive changes to the site.

To the staff in particular - I've only had a few limited interactions with you, though they've always been positive ones. I'm also part of the staff on a game-based website with a very large community, and I know how easy it is to become frustrated when you have frequent rulebreakers and complaints flooding in with seemingly no end, and when people become downright disrespectful and rude when you attempt to uphold rules that they don't agree with. Being a moderator can be a thankless task at times, but just remember that there are people who look up to you and look to you for guidance and support. I think that the lot of you do a great job (primarily Cent as you're the one I've dealt with any semblance of frequency) and are certainly more tolerant that the people I "work" with.

As for me, I've always tried to be helpful and assertive with other members, though I have a manner of speaking that can be a bit too formal at times and could potentially be construed as standoffish. There are a few people here on TBT who I'd love to get to know better, though I've made a habit out of keeping my online interactions strictly superficial/professional and this has stopped me from reaching out to a few of you. I apologize if I've ever come off as disinterested when people are speaking to me (whether here on the forums or in IRC when I've been chatting), as it certainly isn't the case. I definitely plan to work on this and hopefully can get to know some of you better in the near future.

 

[epona]

i feel like maybe sometimes people try too hard to turn something harmless and small into a big debate/argument that ends up causing offence on both sides when it really just is so unnecessary
that really is all i have to say with regards to negativity on the forum, though
i don't really feel i have any friends but that is my own fault for not taking time to approach people and strike up some sort of friendship with them, so negativity isn't to blame for that but lack of effort
the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be

 

[Pathetic]

natty ~
ive also felt left out alot in the irc sometimes, so i just didnt talk at all. but yeah, i was so happy when i got mk8 so i can finally stop being out when people play it.
But yeah, with the grammar issue, I apologize, I'll improve my grammar a little more, along w/o flooding the chat.

 

[Oblivia]

the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be

You know, I do have to agree with you here. While I personally have had no issues in IRC, I did witness a few things that were a bit unsettling (new members being brushed off, people being cursed at, etc.) I mentioned this in a different thread a while back, and one member seemed to not only take offense to what I said, but to actually promote this type of behavior. I do feel that this is something that should perhaps be addressed, as no one should be made to feel unwelcome or ignored, and certainly shouldn't be cursed at for merely greeting someone.

 

[Caius]

You know, I do have to agree with you here. While I personally have had no issues in IRC, I did witness a few things that were a bit unsettling (new members being brushed off, people being cursed at, etc.) I mentioned this in a different thread a while back, and one member seemed to not only take offense to what I said, but to actually promote this type of behavior. I do feel that this is something that should perhaps be addressed, as no one should be made to feel unwelcome or ignored, and certainly shouldn't be cursed at for merely greeting someone.

We do look at the IRC as a more 'adult' place to be. Cursing is allowed, but being rude to people IS NOT. If you ever find yourself in there and notice something like that again, please feel free to PM me on IRC with the situation. Rudeness is not tolerated, and a lot of the stuff in there that I've seen crosses from Adult to Ridiculous.

natty ~
ive also felt left out alot in the irc sometimes, so i just didnt talk at all. but yeah, i was so happy when i got mk8 so i can finally stop being out when people play it.
But yeah, with the grammar issue, I apologize, I'll improve my grammar a little more, along w/o flooding the chat.

Thank you for putting the effort forwards. It shows you're willing to help and it's wonderful. As far as MK8 goes, I'm the same way. I don't have it and I also don't play mafia, so whenever it comes up I tend to avoid the chat since I'm not a fan of mafia anyway.

i feel like maybe sometimes people try too hard to turn something harmless and small into a big debate/argument that ends up causing offence on both sides when it really just is so unnecessary
that really is all i have to say with regards to negativity on the forum, though
i don't really feel i have any friends but that is my own fault for not taking time to approach people and strike up some sort of friendship with them, so negativity isn't to blame for that but lack of effort
the few times i have been on the IRC it seems like a very closed community and anything i said was kind of lost in the string of friends talking to eachother, but i don't think there's any way to rectify that and it's not a criticism, i just think a lot of people are intimidate by the IRC and probably are too nervous to put themselves out there for fear of being ignored/ridiculed
overall this forum is a welcoming and kind place to be

I've heard this complaint about the IRC quite a bit, and most of the issue is the new person that joins in not joining in with the conversation, but instead keeping to themselves or not trying to be a part of the conversation at all. Splitting the chat is what makes it so hectic sometimes, but I'm sure if you type properly (Spelling, punctuation, grammar) people will actually take the time to read what you're saying. That's just how it is, and chatspeak tends to get ignored because it shows no effort. I'm not saying you specifically, but being intimidated by the IRC isn't that big of an issue anymore.

Overall, I think that TBT is a very positive and welcoming community, and I've enjoyed my time here immensely. I'm part of many online communities, most if not all of which are far more negative and elitist than TBT. I can't say that I haven't noticed a recent influx of negativity lately however, and I feel that it'd be difficult to pinpoint an exact cause with a community this size. Perhaps it's due to the younger members being stressed about exams, or IRL issues that bleed into the interactions people have while online. There's also the fact that it's very easy to let one or two negative people taint the entire vibe of a thread/conversation/etc., regardless of whether or not the majority of people have positive attitudes. Whatever the reason, I think it's great that the staff is trying to get to the root cause and make some positive changes to the site.

To the staff in particular - I've only had a few limited interactions with you, though they've always been positive ones. I'm also part of the staff on a game-based website with a very large community, and I know how easy it is to become frustrated when you have frequent rulebreakers and complaints flooding in with seemingly no end, and when people become downright disrespectful and rude when you attempt to uphold rules that they don't agree with. Being a moderator can be a thankless task at times, but just remember that there are people who look up to you and look to you for guidance and support. I think that the lot of you do a great job (primarily Cent as you're the one I've dealt with any semblance of frequency) and are certainly more tolerant that the people I "work" with.

As for me, I've always tried to be helpful and assertive with other members, though I have a manner of speaking that can be a bit too formal at times and could potentially be construed as standoffish. There are a few people here on TBT who I'd love to get to know better, though I've made a habit out of keeping my online interactions strictly superficial/professional and this has stopped me from reaching out to a few of you. I apologize if I've ever come off as disinterested when people are speaking to me (whether here on the forums or in IRC when I've been chatting), as it certainly isn't the case. I definitely plan to work on this and hopefully can get to know some of you better in the near future.

Thank you for the appreciation. You're right, staff is a thankless job, which is why I prefer to think of myself as a member with benefits. I don't think you sound cold or standoffish, or any of the ways you described the way you express yourself on the forum. You're a lovely person, and it's been a joy to work with you. I'm inclined to agree with a lot of the issues coming from personal issues for younger members, but I've also noticed some animosity towards a lot of the younger people because some don't really understand what it means to contribute diligently towards a community. I'm not saying all are like that, but it can be frustrating to see it over and over.

 

[NikkiNikki]

Quick question: what is the IRC?

- - - Post Merge - - -

since almost all the posts mention it

 

[Lauren]

Honestly, I've been feeling very happy recently, be it in IRC, Mumble or the boards. I haven't seen anything apart from a few spats that I hope will be resolved soon.

I've been trying to be nicer, I don't think I've been mean in months! I'm genuinely happy! I really hope everyone else is!

- - - Post Merge - - -

Quick question: what is the IRC?

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since almost all the posts mention it

Internet Relay Chat. Its TBT's chat room you can find it here, you're more than welcome to come and chat! IRC <-- Clicky <3

 

[Zanessa]

This website, for me, hasn't been the same since the whole cycling incident happened. People were so rude to the cyclers, and it was really 100% unnecessary. It could have been handled better, but people just wanted to put others down and called each other rude names. Some people who I called my friends left the website.
It's also part of the reason I don't really play anymore. :/