On being fatphobic

Suguri

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I overheard some students today during break. They were talking about this TikTok video where a person is ranting about how Walmart is "fatphobic" because they don't have clothes in a very large size. (Can't remember what it is though.) I remember one of the students said something like, "I'm not fatphobic, but if you can't find 'em in [very large size I cannot remember], it's time you got some exercise and lost some weight."

I don't usually make threads related to sorta-controversial topics like this, but after that happened I couldn't help myself, so here it is. Is Walmart really fatphobic? Or is this TikToker exaggerating? Any thoughts on fat acceptance in general? I'm pretty skinny and never cared much about how I looked to begin with so I don't really have an opinion.
 
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Idk about the Walmart situation so no comment there.
I think as a general rule, we shouldn't make unsolicited comments about other people's bodies (or assumptions about their health/diet/exercise based off their bodies), or treat someone's health as a marker of their moral character.

The way the mistreatment and dehumanization of fat people is so normalized is honestly reprehensible.
 
Corporations do not have a conscious, they will be fatphobic, homophobic, transphobic etc. whatever is most profitable for them. We're seeing it now clear as day - corporations that were previously "diverse" these past few years when BLM and LGBT acceptance were on the up are now rolling back their DEI programs because with republicans/conservatives feeling empowered, it's now the most profitable stance to take. Walmart is one of these companies along with McDonald's, Ford, and others. You cannot rely on companies for political and social consciousness.

That response by the student on the other hand is both fatphobic (a very real issue & term that doesn't need quotation marks around it) and ignorant, as weight is not an indicator of health. This has been proven time and time again.

You don't have to be fat to have an opinion on body/fat positivity, or to notice the lack of fat acceptance in both society and the media. I've always had a metabolism so quick doctors have been concerned about whether I'm eating or not. But it's also always been clear as day that skinnier (or muscular for the masculine side, but a lack of body fat regardless) bodies have been, and still are, favoured by advertisers, TV castors, fashion/modelling agencies, pretty much every industry that uses images of human beings to promote itself, than chubby or fat ones.
 
I used to be VERY insecure about “being fat” despite being underweight at one point.

I grew up in the early to mid-2000s, when thin was in and the news constantly showed fat people walking around, but not their faces— just their bodies. There was talk of an “obesity epidemic”. Magazine covers always said “Follow this diet and get skinny in a week”! while simultaneously mocking actresses for being “too thin.” I also didn’t like how people called average-sized women fat, like Jessica Simpson or Khloe Kardashian.

When I got a little older, I wanted to lose weight to “look better”, but personally I never found it attractive— I just wanted approval.

Some “friends” made fun of me for liking chubby guys. (They didn’t know about the girls.) It was ignorant of them, but at first it hurt me— how does liking a chubby person make me look bad? Ridiculous.

Of course lean, muscular men are favored over plump ones, but they don’t face the same scrutiny women do. It’s glaringly obvious— once I was watching the WWE Hall of Fame induction of Big Boss Man, and some comments made fun of his daughters’ weight. Now…these are the same people who were fans of a guy who literally had “Big” in his ring name. If they were sons, it would be a different story.

I don’t understand why some people get angry at brands for including plus-size clothing. People NEED clothes. Like…you want people to have to wrap themselves in a sheet?! Clothes are a basic necessity.

Also I would say…I’ve bought clothes at Walmart and they are usually comfy— especially the sweatpants. Then again, I’m not plus-size, so I can’t speak for those clothes.

This Ozempic stuff is taking us back to the early 2000s, in way. (I know it’s used for medical purposes, but I’m talking about celebrities using it to lose ten pounds.) I know the stuff is expensive, but there are people who need diabetes medications, and using it to diet is a waste of valuable resources.

I’d like to think this generation is nicer and more self-aware than we were in the 2000s, though.
 
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... Most obese people go to an obese people store for their clothing. I don't see how that is a problem, and yeah I am fat. It isn't even always about size when going to a fat people store, but also cut of the fabric.
I usually don't find things that fit right at Walmart. I go to a fat people store or Meijer or rural king.
As for needing to get exercise if you are whatever plus size you have in mind, weight isnt always about what you eat and your exercise schedule. There is a little more to it than that, but eating healthy, making better choices, and getting exercise helps anyone at any size.
 
I just realized I only answered the first question. So how do I feel about fat acceptance? I don't care either way because comments don't bother me. In person they're just words and online they're just pixels on a screen.
 
i'm personally of the opinion that other people's bodies and appearance are none of my business, especially when those things usually aren't something they can change. i used to get picked on a lot for my weight growing up, because i have an obnoxiously fast metabolism, and i was a constant four to five stone in my teens. i won't go into much detail because i don't want to trigger anyone, but there were a lot of rumors and nasty comments etc. about me having an eating disorder when i didn't. even now, i'm still underweight for my age/height because i just can't put on weight, and i continue to get negative comments about it from friends and family. i obviously wouldn't say it's on the same level as fatphobia, but even being on the opposite end of the spectrum can result in similar treatment. diet/exercise doesn't always have anything to do with it. i saw a dietician for a year or two and still only gained a few pounds in that time lmao, so it's obviously not that simple.

we shouldn't be judging people for something like weight or physical appearance in general. imo it says more about you if you do that, than the person you're judging.
 
I remember having this absolute trash of a co-intern who was fatphobic. He called me a bunch of names, the worst one being that I looked "pregnant". I was more annoyed than hurt because I wasn't even that fat, and even BMI-wise I'm just borderline overweight. He just wanted to use me as a punching bag to make himself feel better about himself because he knows he's insecure lmao. Anyway I just ignore him because it does me no good to retaliate mean people like them. If anything these bullies want to get under your skin, so don't give them any attention and they'll realize it's not worth messing with you. If they want to be that miserable then that's not my problem. People will love you for who you are no matter what; if someone wants to be funny at your expense then they're not a friend or even a decent person at all lol.
 
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I have been both underweight and overweight, and the former is much worse. I'll take a few extra pounds over feeling pain in my ribs any day. Body shaming is normalized online, and even when the person in question is unsavory, it's still not okay. People have varying body types and not everyone will fit neatly into one box. It is generally better to judge people for their actions.
 
i don't want to trigger anyone, but there were a lot of rumors and nasty comments etc. about me having an eating disorder when i didn't. even now, i'm still underweight for my age/height because i just can't put on weight, and i continue to get negative comments about it from friends and family.
You are absolutely right! My cousins on my mother's side are extremely skinny, and they can't put on weight, even though they want to! One of my cousins said how upset she was when someone said "eat a cheeseburger once in a while!" By the way,, if there was an eating contest, she could probably win. She just has a very high metabolism!

weight is not an indicator of health. This has been proven time and time again.
This is true, I believe. I have had some very physical jobs over the years, and I got down to my "ideal weight", but I was also constantly getting sick. Each time, when I put weight back on, I stopped getting sick.

I may be overweight, but I feel healthy at this weight (okay, aside from my knees being a mess... but that is also hereditary, age and the fact that I brutalized my legs when young with extreme sports).

If I may go back to the original topic though, I have never worked for Walmart.

But I work for a big corporate company, and the larger/taller... or petite individuals, have a hard time getting uniforms. This has nothing to do with the corporate company being anti-size, but the outside uniform companies they use. I don't want to defend those uniform companies, but I imagine it's a challenge at times to get enough uniforms in uncommon sizes.
 
I honestly think having to "accept" people who are fat is a stupid argument to begin with. Fat people exist. We are human beings, who are fat for many reasons. It could be health, hormones, mental health, biological, diet, exercise, income- and it's almost always a mixture of all of those things. If you think someone is less than human for being fat then you really gotta reevaluate yourself.

Walmart is not a place I'd think about being bad for buying plus-sized clothing, but I also don't shop at Walmart if I can help it cause every time I walk into one of those places I feel like exploding.

Clothes shopping is difficult as a fat person. You can go to stores that sell plus-sized clothing, and it's gonna be expensive as I'll get out, or not just be *simple* clothes. Wacky patterns, weird cuts, thigns like that. I've never been able to wear "women's cut" clothing either, because I have a square body and fat arms, so the waist and sleeves always dig into my body. Cheaper clothes have the opposite problem, of being boxy and unflattering. One size is too small and the next size up is way too big.

And im not gonna compare body sizes either and say being overweight or underweight is more of an issue in either direction, cause its not, but I do wanna shed light on being underweight. It can be caused by all the same reasons someone may be overweight, and you can encounter the same exact, or at least similar issues when it comes to how your body is treated by others.

At the end of the day everyone's body is different, but corporations just don't get that. They understand what makes them the most money, and technically speaking, making clothes for a very specific, smaller range of bodies, earns them the most money. That's why plus-sized clothes are always sold out places, if anyone's noticed that. It's not because it's not being made or not being sold, they just make significantly less.
 
Note: I'm using the words healthy and unhealthy very loosely here, because weight isn't an indicator of health, and I don't want to label foods as healthy or unhealthy. Food is food, and all bodies are different. Healthy will look and feel different for everyone.

I've been overweight my entire life. This is due to a combination of genetics, poor diet, mental health, and environment. I grew up in a "unique" situation where I primarily lived with my mom and grandmother and only saw my dad on the weekends. Nobody taught me healthy eating habits growing up. Instead of filling meals, my parents, especially my mom, would just snack on food closest to them whenever they got hungry; this would usually be chips, cookies, chocolate, etc. This is a habit that's been passed onto me, and is one I'm struggling to break and unlearn as an adult. My mom has been struggling with depression my entire life, my grandmother worked most days, and my dad didn't cook much when he was here on the weekends, so a lot of the time my meals consisted of fast food and snacks that were easy to grab. My grandmother tried to make sure I ate "proper" meals and snacks because me getting proper nutrition was important to her, but there was only so much she could do.

The way people at school, medical professionals, and even my own family and friends treat(ed) me just because I'm overweight is something that still affects me now. I was the target of bullying and people pretending to ask me out because apparently the thought of someone liking me was funny just because I was overweight and wasn't "conventionally attractive." My skinnier friends would talk to me about how being fat was their biggest fear, and I couldn't stand to see the size of my silhouette next to theirs. I'd go to the doctor or the dentist with problems related to my mental health, and I'd be treated like a lazy, careless person. My grandmother would talk to me about my weight every day, and while I know it was from a place of concern, all she did was push me into an eating disorder and instill in me that unless I'm skinny, there's something wrong with me and nothing else about me matters.

I'm so sick of people acting like a person's health or value is determined by their weight. I'm so sick of people acting like someone isn't worthy of kindness, respect, and human decency if they're overweight. I'm so sick of people thinking that overweight = lazy and careless. There are a million reasons why someone could be overweight: genetics, diet, medications, illnesses, mental health, affordability, etc. Unless you're someone's doctor or you're asked for your help/advice/opinion, you have no business commenting on anyone's body.

I don't want to comment on the Walmart situation much because I don't think I have the words to say what I want to say in the way I want to say it, but my mom has always shopped there for her clothes. My mom has always complained about how small their plus-size clothing section is and how hard it is to find clothes she actually likes. Sizing has never been an issue for her, but I know it has been for others. I wouldn't say that Walmart is the best place to go for plus-size clothing, but I know it's some people's only option because it's much cheaper than actual plus-size clothing stores. I think plus-size clothing should be more accessible, not just in Walmart but in general. I don't think that would encourage anyone to "stay overweight." Everyone deserves to have access to clothes that are affordable, fit comfortably, and make them feel good and confident, and imo most plus-size clothing options leave something to be desired. I'm sick of floral patterns, Disney t-shirts, and tops that have weird slits in them. I'm tired of clothes that are either uncomfortable or baggy and unflattering, like Micheal said.

We don't have conversations about if skinny people should be "accepted," so we shouldn't have to have these conversations about overweight people. We're people. Our appearance, health, and weight don't determine whether we deserve human decency or not.
 
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At the end of the day everyone's body is different, but corporations just don't get that. They understand what makes them the most money, and technically speaking, making clothes for a very specific, smaller range of bodies, earns them the most money. That's why plus-sized clothes are always sold out places, if anyone's noticed that. It's not because it's not being made or not being sold, they just make significantly less.

You're 100% correct. In the mall in my city, there are legit only 2 plus size stores. But teenie bopper stores? Plenty. That alone speaks volumes.
 
TikTok should be avoided on this topic. Body positive influencers on TikTok have taken fat acceptance to a toxic extreme: getting offended at calorie counts on menus, villainising both celebrities and everyday people for losing weight, and yes getting mad at mainstream stores for not carrying less common sizes. The content gets a lot worse actually, but I'll save the essay. If you're interested absolutely do some research into it. But be aware it is a really bad hole to dive into.

I don't care what size a person is. But I've a problem with many of the well-known "body positive influencers". They've gone passed positivity and into toxicity.
 
I haven't commented here yet, but yeah, anyone who judges someone for being a particular size, whether it's smaller or larger, is probably insecure themselves and it's no different to judging people for other reasons such as race, sex, gender, disability, etc. in my mind. Everyone should be free to be themselves and not have to deal with this, especially if they're relatively healthy otherwise. I truly feel for the people here who have had to put up with others who are like this, because they're honestly the lowest of the low. That's all I have to say on the matter and should say before I end up typing an essay.
 
TikTok should be avoided on this topic. Body positive influencers on TikTok have taken fat acceptance to a toxic extreme: getting offended at calorie counts on menus, villainising both celebrities and everyday people for losing weight, and yes getting mad at mainstream stores for not carrying less common sizes. The content gets a lot worse actually, but I'll save the essay. If you're interested absolutely do some research into it. But be aware it is a really bad hole to dive into.

I don't care what size a person is. But I've a problem with many of the well-known "body positive influencers". They've gone passed positivity and into toxicity.
I have gotten sucked down this rabbit hole before and it’s wild…. (I was trying to find a different Internet drama to listen to.) Its drama is only rivaled by the art and commentary communities. (I would have said “beauty community” in the late 2010s.)

I’m average-sized, but I don’t like calorie counts on menus either. It used to stress me out.

However, I will say these TikTok activists are a very loud minority— and I think they are “ragebaiting” for attention. Kinda like Nikocado Avocado. Negativity and odd behavior is what gets the most clicks.

A bit off-topic but I kinda hope they ban TikTok. The amount of toxicity and misinformation on there is disgusting. I guess you could say that about other sites, too, but I’m an old lady compared to most of the users and I just find it annoying lol.
 
I love you all for speaking your mind and being open about your own situations and experiences! I mean... literally, I love you!

In the previous posts, I have seen a couple of comments that say, basically, they are holding back.

Go ahead and elaborate... post your essays... this is very meaningful stuff!
 
TikTok should be avoided on this topic. Body positive influencers on TikTok have taken fat acceptance to a toxic extreme: getting offended at calorie counts on menus, villainising both celebrities and everyday people for losing weight, and yes getting mad at mainstream stores for not carrying less common sizes. The content gets a lot worse actually, but I'll save the essay. If you're interested absolutely do some research into it. But be aware it is a really bad hole to dive into.

I don't care what size a person is. But I've a problem with many of the well-known "body positive influencers". They've gone passed positivity and into toxicity.
I feel like a lot of people who are doing this, don't really care about the movement. It doesn't matter what the movement is. They just see that it has more attention on it now and so more of an audience. They're never looking to actually help whatever the cause is. They're just there for the sake of creating strife. It's sort of like the person who goes around to restaurants and when waiters/staff use the wrong pronouns on accident that they film their outrage and even when staff tries to deescalate and apologize they keep escalating.

I usually just try to avoid any social media. I don't know why, but it always brings the worst out of everyone. I would say it's anonymity, but so many show their everyday lives so it's really not that.

I've came across plenty of people who've made fun of people for being overweight and underweight. Usually behind their back when said person isn't within earshot anymore. I personally don't care what size or weight you are. Your personality is what matters to me most. With that said, if you've made fun of someone, especially something of their body, I lose a lot of respect for you and try not to associate with you if possible. Says a lot more about you than it does whoever you're trying to insult. Usually the people who've commented about that are just disgusting individuals because of their own personality.
 
I feel like a lot of people who are doing this, don't really care about the movement. It doesn't matter what the movement is. They just see that it has more attention on it now and so more of an audience. They're never looking to actually help whatever the cause is. They're just there for the sake of creating strife. It's sort of like the person who goes around to restaurants and when waiters/staff use the wrong pronouns on accident that they film their outrage and even when staff tries to deescalate and apologize they keep escalating.

I usually just try to avoid any social media. I don't know why, but it always brings the worst out of everyone. I would say it's anonymity, but so many show their everyday lives so it's really not that.

I've came across plenty of people who've made fun of people for being overweight and underweight. Usually behind their back when said person isn't within earshot anymore. I personally don't care what size or weight you are. Your personality is what matters to me most. With that said, if you've made fun of someone, especially something of their body, I lose a lot of respect for you and try not to associate with you if possible. Says a lot more about you than it does whoever you're trying to insult. Usually the people who've commented about that are just disgusting individuals because of their own personality.

That last part is very poignant life advice, not just in terms of body weight but in general, and I wish I had realized it sooner. (It says more about the person doing the insulting)

It clicked with me when I was sitting in my earth/science class and couldn't find someone to pair up with for an assignment. I was left sitting by myself and a girl yells loudly across the room asking 'why am I so anti social'?

Instead of being immediately offended, I thought more about the rudeness of the situation. I wasn't fitting in too well at the new school. My one friend paired with somebody else.

She said the meanest thing possible and it said more about her than me. (Because honestly who does that?). I already knew my situation.

It's something to keep in mind for those who may be struggling with something like this. It's not always us.
 
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