So, I'm going through a process of grief right now (and I'm absolutely NOT writing this to make anyone feel sorry about me, it's just a thought that flew through my head and that I've been developing since that happened) because my grandfather died exactly three weeks ago. It's about the soundtrack, which I can relate to the first days after his death.
And this is what I think about the ACNL soundtrack, how I relate it to my grief. I don't intend to look like an undefensed little girl who just asks for attention, it's just something very intimate but, as it has to do with ACNL stuff and some more people could relate to it I thought, I've posted it here. Thanks for reading.
- 12 AM represents the time before I learnt that he had died, as the song is kind of creepy and gives you the feeling that something is going to happen. At least in my opinion.
- 1 AM is that sad-happy-sad song that I can relate to the moment when I started to cry out after learning that he had died, then I kind of recovered, but then I started to cry again.
- 2 AM is a completely sad song which I can relate to when I was alone at home (my parents had gone to my grandpa's wake, and since I didn't want to remember him as a corpse, I stayed at home), and I could think about him and, if not cry, just be sad.
- 3 AM is a kind of happy and resignated theme which I think represents the feeling I got later of "well, things happen, and it was bound to happen anyway"
- 5 AM represents when I got back to school from the holidays (my grandfather died during my Easter Holidays) and, somehow, my life going back to normal, since the song goes from distorted sounds to a normally sounding piano.
- 6 AM to 5 PM sound like a normal day, since the school activities and all the stuff kept my mind occupied and, even if I still remembered what had happened, I went through the day as I would have if things were normal.
- 4 AM (sorry, I forgot it) is a song I can relate to the enormous fear I had of seeing my grandfather's ghost. When my other grandfather died, I saw (or dreamed that I saw it, I don't know, if it was a dream it was SO real) his ghost, so this time I was so scared and I barely slept the first two nights after his decease.
- 6 PM reminds me of when the school activities are over and thus I go back home, and unevitabilly hear my stepmother (my grandfather was his father)'s conversations with some of her friends on the phone, and I hear her cry while explaining it, so I start to get sad too.
- 7 PM represents the moment when I finally go to my room alone and cry and think about him, when I just let myself grieve.
- 8 PM is a resignated theme again, such as 3 AM.
- 9 and 10 PM are two songs that relate all the reading, homework and distracting stuff I did those nights to try and have some fun to get through that better.
- And finally, 11 PM is a soundtrack that represents what I'm feeling right now. I'm sad, sure, and I think a lot about him, but I hold my tears and go on with resignation. What I do the most now is remembering the good times we had.
And this is what I think about the ACNL soundtrack, how I relate it to my grief. I don't intend to look like an undefensed little girl who just asks for attention, it's just something very intimate but, as it has to do with ACNL stuff and some more people could relate to it I thought, I've posted it here. Thanks for reading.
