How do you feel about making friends with opposing or different beliefs?

[k e r f u f f l e]

I don't have any problem with it. I just don't center large portions of the relationship around our views/beliefs. I'm willing to talk about them, but if I feel like an argument is boiling, I let it go. There's no need.

I mean, I'm pretty close with my cousin, who's mono-polyamorous, Wiccan, politically liberal, LGBTQ+/BLM interested, etc. But I still love her. I enjoy our time together. Why sacrifice or dismiss a friendship with someone over opinions? Generalizations and identity politics already cause so much headache in society.

 

[tumut]

It's fine to an extent, just don't be obnoxious, incredibly stupid, or bigoted/hateful.

 

[Neb]

I’m a democratic socialist, but I’ve had a few conservative friends. We don’t really bring up politics much and instead focus on mutual interests and experiences. They’re genuinely good friendships and I’m glad to have them.

 

[TurnipBell20]

Friend is a term I am careful with. I wouldn’t necessarily befriend people with drastically different views/beliefs. When I am friends with someone, I want to be able to talk about everything with them. I do get along with people with different views, though (as long as we don’t have to talk about the controversial topic).

 

[Yoshi155]

It depends. If it's someone who's an extremely anti-religion atheist that says anyone who believes in a religion, like me, is stupid and is wasting their time, then no, I'm not being their friend. But also, if it's an extremely religious person who says that anyone who isn't their religion is a heathen and will burn, then I wouldn't be their friend either.

If it's someone who's not toxic about their beliefs, then I can be friends with them. Like, for example, I know it's very controversial, but I do support the death penalty in some cases (such as murder that's completely remorseless and 100% guilty), and if someone doesn't support it, but they don't call me a feelingless piece of **** for supporting it, then I can be their friend, because they're not ruining my view of their side.

 

[Kitsuragi]

highkey depends on what the opposing values are. if someone disagrees with my way of life or my existence, **** no, i would never be their friend. bigots can kick rocks.
i will be nice, because that's what i should do as a functioning member of society. but just to a point. my tolerance only goes so far.

 

[Goldi Locks]

I can and have, because I have charm!

Having said that, I don't really open any potential friendship by announcing my political or social views. I am pretty centrist anyway, so unlikely to completely offend either far-left or far-right from the start. Though I wouldn't bother being friends with anyone who didn't have a sense of humour, or wasn't able to laugh about the absurdities of their own political side, as well as the opposite. That's more important to me than their views.

 

[CylieDanny]

Nah, I've tried too. I really have but I cant do it. I cant be with homophobic, people which is why I had to drop my grandparents from my life. They think its wrong. So I dont talk to her, I try to avoid her. Same goes for rasist, sexist, you name it. When I had an rp group I kicked anyone who was any of the above,

I don't wanna force people to think differently because that's their personal beliefs, so I just kick them. No Warning, no nothing. I don't wanna deal or see that, it's in my rules.

you can't force yourself to like people who make you uncomfortable. You gotta stay within your own comfort zone.

 

[Mayor Jack]

Most of my friends have pretty similar political views to me but I think I would be able to be friends with someone who had opposite views to me as long as that isn't their whole personality and as long as they don't judge me for what I believe in. Obviously, some people have such extreme and horrible beliefs that I could never be friends with them but I think it would be really sad to refuse to be friends with someone over politics or religion.

Also, while I talk about politics a bit with my friends who have similar beliefs, I would just stay away from the topic when talking with someone who had different beliefs to avoid our relationship turning into a conflict where we are always trying to change the other person's beliefs.

 

[wrenbow]

I'd treat anyone with respect regardless of their views, but politics very much affect real life and certain views can be extremely harmful so this isn't something that I can overlook. Even if someone comes across as friendly or polite, I wouldn't be able to call them my friend knowing that they hold hateful or selfish beliefs.

 

[Seastar]

Spoiler: Felt too personal for me

Unfortunately I have one. Been friends for over a decade, before I ever realized the problem. The thing is they don't usually talk about it ever. I've also known them for so long that I think they're just horribly misinformed and have trouble understanding things. I don't really blame them, but I do feel uncomfortable sometimes when I realize I act very different around them compared to my other friends.

 

[TN4U]

I'm also putting my thoughts in a spoiler because it's somewhat sensitive stuff:

Spoiler: Friends and politics/beliefs

I have some friends who are Trump supporters; one of them I could even consider to be "over the top" with how much he likes the guy. I'll just say this: I consider myself more of a democrat, and I hate Trump. He is a clear liar and a thief, and am genuinely disappointed that he is still allowed to have a presidential campaign for next year despite his criminal charges. Why people still support the guy and say he did nothing wrong is beyond me, and further proves my point that people fail to fact check anything anymore and refuse to accept the truth.

Meanwhile, every time I see huge Trump signs in someone's front yard, or a pickup truck on the road that carries a large (often explicit) Trump flag in its bed, I instantly form my opinion that those guys are angry individuals that have no respect for other human beings (I have a way more R-rated opinion about such people, but explaining that here would go against forum rules). Needless to say, I've made it a habit of not sharing my political views with my friends, and we do a pretty good job of avoiding the topic altogether as they are well-aware that I'm quite different with my views.

As for other sensitive topics such as religion, relationships, and minorities, it's definitely not as bad with me. I have my own opinions of such things, but I know for a fact that it is completely wrong to openly hate on others based on their beliefs. For example, I consider myself a straight male, and there are many users here on TBT who are openly gay, non-binary, transgender, and so on. Just because I prefer to be straight does NOT give me the right to hate on others that don't share the same belief, and everyone should have the right to safely express their individuality without getting harmed both physically and mentally in the process. In fact, a lot of the users I've met here who aren't straight are some of the nicest people I've ever met, and they should NEVER be judged based solely on their preferences. Now, if someone's intent is to harm others, that's a completely different story, and all such people need to get some help right away.

The world would be perfect if people just kept their negative thoughts to themselves, but as we've seen many times in the past few decades, this unfortunately can't happen all the time.

 

[Envy]

I'd treat anyone with respect regardless of their views, but politics very much affect real life and certain views can be extremely harmful so this isn't something that I can overlook. Even if someone comes across as friendly or polite, I wouldn't be able to call them my friend knowing that they hold hateful or selfish beliefs.

Yes. Political beliefs do not exist in a vacuum. They cause very real harm. The right in my home state has done everything to harm reproductive rights, LGBT rights (especially of trans people). In addition, they're now trying to put PragerU in our poorly funded public schools. And on top of that, they're trying to make us taxpayers fund a discriminatory "public" Christian school.

I'm having to leave the state because of this inhumanity. You can bet I have a hard time respecting those who have voted to get things to this way. They have made me make a move that is at great risk to me financially. They have made me leave the home I grew up in and have spent almost my entire life. They have made me move away from loved friends and family.

And there is one person I met in a community band last year, who is befuddled by my moving. She's so sad to lose me. But I can tell how she votes from how she posts on FB. I refuse to feel bad about me moving away from her when her own actions are why I am having to move to begin with.

 

[QueenCobra]

I was friends with some Wiccans in middle school. I personally don’t share those beliefs, but they weren’t forcing me to be one, so I was fine with it.

But I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t see me (or anyone else) as human based on their political beliefs. If someone is an Andrew Tate/Donald Trump/John Hagee fanatic…no. I would not feel comfortable dating a guy who describes himself as “alpha male.”

Also, some non-political things I find red flags are making rude comments about people’s appearances, or being nosy about finances or relationship status.

However…surface-level, some conservative people I’ve known are very nice. I wouldn’t consider them friends, as I don’t get too close or personal with them.

 

[Dunny County]

I would NEVER be friends with someone with an opposing political view to me and I don't want to hear from people with an opposing political view to me, infact the sooner everyone just comes around to my way of thinking the better... and even when they do I won't be friends with them, it's too late for them now. Their best bet is to just stay indoors and shut up.

 

[CometCatcher]

No. I can't.

Despite what others may think, some views can cause real and tangible harm to others, so I don't think I could in good conscience be friends with someone who thought differently than me on important matters, even if they were perfectly friendly to me otherwise. Also, since I'm already a minority in a few ways, I'd feel uncomfortable and think that they view me differently because of those pre-established beliefs. I have cut ties with people over this.

 

[kisaker39]

i could befriend someone with opposing/different beliefs to me, but (depending on what that belief is) i dont see myself becoming close with someone like that. if it is something minor, it does not matter to me, but if it is something i believe strongly, i just cannot see myself becoming close with them.

If it it something like racism, homophobia, or anything of the like, i cannot see anything more than being acquaintanced with them. no matter your stance on things like this, showing disdain against a someone based on their skin colour, or who they love, is inhumane in my eyes.

 

[Goldi Locks]

I would NEVER be friends with someone with an opposing political view to me and I don't want to hear from people with an opposing political view to me, infact the sooner everyone just comes around to my way of thinking the better... and even when they do I won't be friends with them, it's too late for them now. Their best bet is to just stay indoors and shut up.

XD

I made the mistake of posting before reading the whole thread, which seems to have been started years ago. I have read it all now and have been both enlightened and amused lmao, so thanks for that everyone!

On a side note, @Moritz I hope you're still kicking around this place. You seem like a cool guy.

 

[Gabby]

Disagreeing about various topics is normal and to be expected. Straight up hateful is a no no. I do get frustrated talking to those who don't think critically about important topics and just repeat what they've heard. Though, we are all guilty of that to some degree. I used to be more of a debater and confrontational to people who had opposing view to me, but less so now. If someones views are particularly unpleasant or we don't agree, I usually just avoid that person.

 

[Dunny County]

Today was a very trying day for me, I went out for a walk and hundreds of people with very different political opinions to me came around the corner waving flags, chanting and generally being a nuisance. Needless to say I made no attempt to befriend any of them.