how are you feeling right now?

I feel tired of stuff being made more complicated than it has to be.

Also I feel I lost my sleepiness. There are a few things I feel concerned about on a global scale. Sure it is possible tomorrow can provide improved news on the matters, but I'm highly skeptical. Even though multiple tomorrows come.

Feelings of doom sucks.
 
Incredibly grieved at the human condition today tbh. Also the news in any online feed is a complete **** show today. I think it is a good time to take a step back from the internet and keep track loosely on what's going on just to have a general idea. I got enough on my plate without that anyway (not that I expect strangers to care or keep track of) But like I mentioned a few weeks ago, and even 2.5 years ago, I don't foresee anything getting better globally. Just get worse and it is really starting to show this month. It's just plain sad. So yeah, I feel grieved/greatly sad today.
 
I woke up a bit ago; woke up panicking a little and to a dream with a former personal friend in it. It brought up a lot of not good feelings and memories (the scenarios in dream were fictional). I’m talking to a friend now and I thought of my best friend for a second and am a bit sad now.

A little frustrated about something else. I want to think that I’m overthinking but it happened more than once. I don’t have the energy to deal with this.

I’m anxious again about a message I never got a reply to; I’m thought maybe they were busy but idk. I kinda don’t want a reply now though tbh. i think I should’ve kept my thoughts to myself.

I’ll be better once my medicine kicks in.
 
I’m feeling a bit anxious about a couple things, but I’m doing okay overall. I just took my medicine and dinner should be done soon; my mom is making tacos :D. I’m really happy about that.
 
I initially woke up with a bunch of unnecessarily bothersome feelings and vented about them in my phone's journal app as it was too personal for me to post in "What's Bothering You". I feel a little better now, but am still uncertain about a few things... Hope that goes away later.
 
I just woke up not too long ago and shouldn’t be tired, but I’m feeling really tired, mostly mentally. I’m stressed and anxious about a few things. I’m hoping tonight’s Among Us session helps me destress a bit.
 
I’m conflicted in a way that is making me feel like a jerk because it doesn’t really impact my life at all and I feel like I’m somehow raining on someone else’s parade.

Long-distance friend/Twitter mutual, who I think I mentioned before, finally went into labor, and I want to be supportive, but I really have never been someone to gush over babies and so badly never want to be a parent myself that I got surgically sterilized, so I feel like it’s hard for me to muster the appropriate level of support. They also had a really rough pregnancy, complaining up until the very end about nausea, breathing problems, pain, depression from having to go off their meds… and to cap it all off, they mentioned being told that it’s hard to go out and do fun stuff with a baby in tow, so they went out recently to try and enjoy some last-minute leisure, only to injure their foot so badly that they had to spend the end of the pregnancy largely wheelchair-bound. I just feel bad for them, honestly. It also took until nearly the end for them to show even a little excitement, them even saying earlier into the pregnancy that they don’t even like kids that much. In fact, they even said they never really intended to get married, either, though from what I can tell they at least are in a supportive relationship.

They also struggle a lot with noise sensitivity on top of everything else, so I really hope that they have the easiest and quietest baby in the world as well as all the in-person help they need, especially with how rough the journey was for them to even have this kid.

Again, there’s really not much impact on my life here, since we’re really just Twitter mutuals at the end of the day, so I feel like it should be easier to come up with something more supportive to say and then move on with my own day. I think though that since I not only don’t want kids, but also have never had a friend go through a pregnancy before (most of my friends are male or also don’t want kids and the majority are also just internet friends as well), it’s just making me grapple with feelings and circumstances that usually are wholly removed from my life (frankly all of 2025 so far has consisted of me thinking about things and putting myself out of my element).
 
Hopeful it might be a good day.

My heart rate variability is actually sitting at a good number for my age today. Shocking the device is telling me that it is 70% above my usual. But it may mean I can accomplish more. 💪
 
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