Giveaway 2x User Giveaway Combo!WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

[NaraFlower]

Pizza chefs who have flour on their face at the end of a long shift call that a 5-o’clock shadough.

I saw a guy hold up his little boy to shield his eyes from the brightness and I thought, I hope he doesn’t lose those songlasses.

 

[fairysyndrome]

okay, these are all really bad (and by bad, i mean great. i love bad jokes.) it made me want to share the worst one i've ever heard! even though i can't win my own giveaway ofc i want to post a joke

once i was riding somewhere with my grandfather in the car, and we passed a graveyard. he pointed at the graveyard, grinned at me, and asked me how many dead people were there. i thought he wanted an exact number but after about 5 minutes of watching me stare confusedly he leaned over and whispered, "ALL OF THEM!"
all the people are dead in a graveyard it was such a bad joke smh

 

[a potato]

Since Safetylance shared I thought I might as well.

So I found this on Tumblr

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

 

[blossum]

Ughhh this is bad.. I have so many.. aa
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to submit one that I think is really bad but good at the same time? ( D: )

'Pete?' I call with no response.
'Pete?' I call again. Where is that mailman? No response.
Great. I hate having to repete myself.

I would like to submit that but if it has to be one you find terrible then I would say this makes it into my list:

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.

Anyway, here's a bonus AC pun because I love this one ♥♥
Drinking too much coffee from the Roost can cause a latte problems !

 

[proddc]

eh haha whats a cows favorite object?
a moooooovie

 

[Kissuuu]

A man walks in a bar with a gold block under his arm, what does the bartender tell him?
-Au!
Get it, the element, l o l

 

[Lotte]

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurtie!

: D

 

[neoqueenserenity]

the energizer bunny was arrested, he was charged with battery.

oh my god bad jokes make me so happy, and this was a great way to enter a giveaway so kudos to you guys o3o

 

[vodkasmizmar]

I used to date a guy with the last name "Post." Every Sunday, I used to say to him in a British accent, "You know what I like most about Sundays?" He'll growl, roll his eyes, and say "No post on Sundays?" And I'd respond, "No post on Sundays!" (from Harry Potter)

EDIT: This is a true. We're not together anymore

 

[dreamysnowx]

My friend usually avoids funerals bc he's not a mourning person.

mourning = morning. LOLOL thanks for this give-away btw :3~

 

[sej]

A wizard was driving and then he turned into a lay-by! HAA! GET IT!

 

[Cariad]

Have you heard about the dog without a nose?
How does it smell
Terrible!

 

[quadrophenia]

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me....

 

[Phoebe]

PMS jokes aren?t funny. Period.

hue hue...

 

[Aesthetic]

What kind of math do trees do?

twigonometry

I want to submit a billion puns

 

[Sumemr]

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Get it ? Get it ? I tried ... :c

 

[TxAnt]

My fake plants died. I forgot to pretend water them.

 

[mayorseraphina]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side !

 

[tylarlar]

I used to have a joke book in elementary school, and I was obsessed with this one.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHhahaahaa..

 

[Momonoki]

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
♪ Oops i did it again ♪