LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Dogemon]

I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan.

The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.

Sorry you have to go through that. I'm also Pan as well as polygamous and though people try to be nice about how they say it, they often basically imply that I just don't know what I want or that I just can't commit to anyone lol. People who can't understand that Pansexuality is real probably aren't worth talking to about your preferences anyways.

 

[Corrie]

Sorry you have to go through that. I'm also Pan as well as polygamous and though people try to be nice about how they say it, they often basically imply that I just don't know what I want or that I just can't commit to anyone lol. People who can't understand that Pansexuality is real probably aren't worth talking to about your preferences anyways.

Pan/bi people get that comment a lot and it doesn't make any sense. We just like more than one gender. It isn't our fault and doesn't make us unable to "pick one" or whatever it is people say.

 

[faelien]

Yoooo my name's Bec and I'm nonbinary & pan which makes me feel weird sometimes cuz I always gotta explain what pan means and also how I'm /really/ nonbinary yes. It's tedious and makes me feel...not great? So I use the q word to describe me, or I just say I'm gay and like kind of cover my id with all encompassing ids, you know?

Anyway hope y'all are having a nice day/night, I just kind of butted into the forum sorry about that.

 

[oliversacnl]

Hi, Bec! It feels weird saying that since my best friend is also non-binary and is also named Bec. Seems to be a somewhat popular name among trans people.

But hey, I'm not exactly one to talk. My name's Oliver.

 

[Pinkbell]

Is it maybe possible that you have a negative view on sex due to what you have seen and experienced?

For me, I have an extremely negative view on it and really don't like doing it because I feel used by my partner, even though they actually aren't using me. I feel this way due to my past experiences with people just trying to use me in that way.

I've consider this yes as why. I guess As time goes I'll figure it out more?(I'm in therapy)

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I used to be Bi, but I recently found out I'm Pan.

The only thing I hate about telling people is that they say it doesn't exist as a real preference, and every time I tell them 'well I have no real care for what people have down under and Bi/Gay still deals with what they prefer down under...so what would you refer to me as then?'. Unsurprisingly, those people still believe I'm Bi to this day and it's annoying but I've basically given up on it now. And I've heard every joke in the book about being Pan, from doing it with literal kitchen utensils to being a furry (seriously wtf those are two completely different things how did you connect the two in your mind?). The best I can do is just laugh and try to educate those who have no clue on what being Pan actually means. And I really don't tell people I'm Pan, it's really not my place unless they ask about it.

ME. I knew I wasn't straight and considered myself bi most of my life, but that was mostly because I just hadn't met any non-cis folks, then I met this amazing gender fluid person and they were like so beautiful, I had a hardcore crush on them and I had to figure out (through the power of the internet) what that meant I was. I like any and all genders so I figured out I was pan-sexual so I mean unless it's somewhere on the internet where I usually just tell people I'm bi, unless I feel like explaining it to them. Like how I tell people I'm vegetarian because I don't want to explain to them what pescatarian is.

 

[toonafeesh]

I'm 23, never dated seriously serious. I've been almost raP edin the past and saw my mother abused. For long time I've never felt like doing it was even "cool" or "fun" I find anything besides just looking gross and odd. I want a child but in my heart I get this feeling that I'm asexual, I've been in "love" so to speak with a childhood friend, but this point in my life i'm so confused. Any tips on living in a small town with people who all do it all the time X_ X or maybe its just me?

You can be asexual but still want to be in a romantic relationship. Having a romantic relationship is different from wanting to do the do. But like someone else said, yeah you might've been affected negatively from your past experiences (I'm really sorry to hear about that!)

Best to just let do what other people want, but if it's not your thing they don't have the right to pressure you into anything.

I consider myself aromantic/asexual, but I'm still pretty confused myself I can't tell the difference between 'aesthetic' attraction and sexual attraction anymore since I've been going by a very black and white definition for sexual attraction.

 

[Chris]

I like any and all genders so I figured out I was pan-sexual so I mean unless it's somewhere on the internet where I usually just tell people I'm bi, unless I feel like explaining it to them. Like how I tell people I'm vegetarian because I don't want to explain to them what pescatarian is.

Same. It's easier than answering questions. Plus I just don't care to argue whether there's really a difference between bi and pan with people who believe bi automatically covers trans/agender/third gender/etc.

I was pescatarian in my teens so I can relate to that last bit too.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

Same. It's easier than answering questions. Plus I just don't care to argue whether there's really a difference between bi and pan with people who believe bi automatically covers trans/agender/third gender/etc.

I was pescatarian in my teens so I can relate to that last bit too.

Basically. I mean, if it's someone I care explaining it to I will, but generally the people who ask are the stiff people who don't really understand anything but black and white so I'd rather not sit there and pull out the whiteboard to map out human sexuality for them. And yeah it's fun when I do talk about being pescatarian because then I go even deeper to saying I'm an Ovo-Lacto-pescatarian and really confuse people. Good times.

 

[seliph]

Most bi people I know define bisexuality as "attraction to same & other genders" so being bi =/= not dating trans/nb people.

Also trans isn't another gender since trans people are just men & women so being bi definitely doesn't always exclude attraction to trans people.

 

[Corrie]

Most bi people I know define bisexuality as "attraction to same & other genders" so being bi =/= not dating trans/nb people.

Also trans isn't another gender since trans people are just men & women so being bi definitely doesn't always exclude attraction to trans people.

I can confirm. I'm bi and I have had a crush on a trans male.

 

[seliph]

I can confirm. I'm bi and I have had a crush on a trans male.

I think it's just that some bi people do exclude trans/nb people (which is... bizarre to me?) so others went "yeah im not identifying with these guys" which is understandable BUT I do know a fair amount of bi people who really don't like when people assume they only like cis men and cis women so, yeah

 

[pawpatrolbab]

I'm Nate, I'm a not cis guy, gay, and I love my husband

 

[Corrie]

I think it's just that some bi people do exclude trans/nb people (which is... bizarre to me?) so others went "yeah im not identifying with these guys" which is understandable BUT I do know a fair amount of bi people who really don't like when people assume they only like cis men and cis women so, yeah

If they do include them, wouldn't that then make them pan?

 

[seliph]

If they do include them, wouldn't that then make them pan?

Nah. When bisexuality is "attraction to same and other genders", which has been the accepted definition of bisexuality by bisexual people for decades, then they don't have to identify as pan. The definition I usually see used by pansexual people to define themselves is "attraction regardless of gender" or "attraction to all genders". If someone wants to switch over then that's all dandy but bisexuality is not some downgrade of pansexuality. Their main differences are 1. their communities 2. gender can have a part in bi peoples' attraction whereas most pan people just don't care.

It really all comes down to what people prefer to label themselves as.

 

[Charcolor]

Nah. When bisexuality is "attraction to same and other genders", which has been the accepted definition of bisexuality by bisexual people for decades, then they don't have to identify as pan. The definition I usually see used by pansexual people to define themselves is "attraction regardless of gender" or "attraction to all genders". If someone wants to switch over then that's all dandy but bisexuality is not some downgrade of pansexuality. Their main differences are 1. their communities 2. gender can have a part in bi peoples' attraction whereas most pan people just don't care.

It really all comes down to what people prefer to label themselves as.

also attraction to multiple but not all genders can also be labeled as polysexuality. i choose to identify as bisexual because a) i've had that label for a while and i'm attached to it and b) more people are familiar with it.
being bisexual doesn't limit you to the gender binary. for example, i'm sexually attracted to men and women, but also enbies (non-binary people) who lean towards those ends. meaning i probably wouldn't be sexually attracted to an agender or otherwise gender-neutral person. i don't know if that makes sense though...

 

[seliph]

also attraction to multiple but not all genders can also be labeled as polysexuality.

I thought about that although from what I know "polysexual" is also being used by people who are open to dating multiple people at once as well, so I wasn't sure if bi/pan people still used it to refer to themselves unless they fit that bell too

 

[Charcolor]

I thought about that although from what I know "polysexual" is also being used by people who are open to dating multiple people at once as well, so I wasn't sure if bi/pan people still used it to refer to themselves unless they fit that bell too

no, you're thinking of "polyamorous." there's different views on whether or not it's an lgbt identity. i'm polyamorous myself, but it doesn't have anything to do with my orientation.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I'm straight but I would date a trans man as long as they were honest with me from the start and have a personality that I love <3

EDIT: I don't think that makes me bi, I think that still qualifies as straight?

 

[seliph]

no, you're thinking of "polyamorous." there's different views on whether or not it's an lgbt identity. i'm polyamorous myself, but it doesn't have anything to do with my orientation.

OH yeah you're right

I personally don't think it is. You can be LGBT and poly sure but if you're cis, straight, and poly I don't see how that makes you automatically LGBT.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I'm straight but I would date a trans man as long as they were honest with me from the start and have a personality that I love <3

EDIT: I don't think that makes me bi, I think that still qualifies as straight?

A trans man is still a man. You're straight.