Firstly, I apologize that my previous post offended and hurt you to the degree it did. It was not my intention.
It’s unfortunate people like you will never understand what people like me with Aspergers/ADHD/OCD/etc. have to go through every day of our lives. You also seem to be misinterpreting parts of my post, and my post is more so about embracing who you are as a person and sharing the love for things. If certain people from either side cannot accept that, then humanity has failed at raising them.
I will concede this because you are correct, I have neither mental nor physical disability and I cannot see things for myself from the same perspective as you. As such I can only base my perspective on what people share. The post you had previously made gave the impression that if LGBTQ+, or anyone, just sucks it up and puts on the brave face, have a positive attitude and go for their goal anyway then everything just works out. As a pessimistic person in general and as someone who once identified as part of the LGBTQ+ family the reading I took from the previous post rubbed me the wrong way. For example, I disagree with the notion that "it gets better." I now have further context, and as I tried to stress previously, I was in no way trying to diminish what you and others experience.
I will say, for whatever little it is worth, I have a number of autistic friends and my best friend's child is autistic. Anything I've said comes with no intentional malice toward anyone on the spectrum. I love everybody, and seek to understand everybody.
We have different outlooks. That's okay. That's what conversation is for, to expand our depth of knowledge and understanding.
I went to a private high school for kids and teenagers with disabilities, and you remind me of someone I used to know from there, so to hear what you have to say here sounds very off-base. People with disabilities like mine have killed themselves as well, are likely not to graduate university, and have other risks included. It’s sad, but I also think without having the disability in the first place, no matter how much people like you analyze it, you’ll never understand. Hell, I’ve wanted to jump into the streets several times myself last Spring. Was it because I was not strong enough that I didn’t do it, or am I stronger for not doing it?
As stated previously, I did not intend to diminish the unique difficulties faced by those on the spectrum. I merely intended to make clear that while both experience discrimination, they are different types of discrimination and that discrimination against LGBTQ+ often involves discriminatory laws. The LGBTQ+ struggle is different from the Autism struggle, is different from the struggle for equality for women, which itself is different from the struggle people of color have faced for equality. Each group's struggle has its own nuances, and while they all share in suffering, they are different shades of grey. If you can inform me of laws being sought out or that are already on the books against people on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum then I am very open to learning more about this.
As a formerly suicidal person who has cast aside the concept for myself, I'd say you were neither too weak nor stronger for your decision not to commit, but that you came to your own conclusion and if it works for you then it is right. I don't judge people who actually go through with it because I can understand where they are coming from. Labeling such an intimate and individual decision right or wrong, I feel, contributes nothing good to collective humanity and empathy.
And hey, again for whatever it is worth, for as dissimilar as we may be in some respects, we've had the same contemplation about how to go about ending it all in our darkest hours.
Sometimes it honestly feels like I’m doing a diservice to society and it would help everyone out if I were dead. I imagine people from the LGBT+ community feel at least similar to that at times, which is unfortunate because life is so great if we just work together to make it great.
I've felt the same, and know LGBTQ+ who do as well. I'm sorry you feel that way.
The analogy I used, I felt though, was very spot on. If you disagree, perhaps you could be a little more specific.
I will do so now.
I’m explaining all of this because I feel like it should be the same thing with the LGBT+ community. Embrace who you are. Embrace it. But don’t go hating on others who disagree. Instead, show compassion to them and educate them on everything LGBT+. I would quote this from Pokemon B2/W2 that the Gym Leader, Clay, says to Hugh and the MC when Hugh is asking what’s different between the good and bad Team Plasma to those kinds of people (that hate on straight people):
“There's always room for folks to grow and change, ain't there? And, if ya only go after what ya think is right, ya might end up rejectin' all thoughts and opinions other than yer own. That's mighty dangerous."
But I know in my heart that the TRUE nature of the movement for LGBT+ people is to help others come out, to help them feel safe with who they are, that in the past women received rights finally, people of different ethnicities received rights, and now I think it’s time for this sort of silly, idiotic segregation to end, for both straight and LGBT+ people. And it starts with what was talked about, ending the confusion, educating people, and helping make sure everyone can do what they want to in life (as long as it’s legal).
As I laid out toward the end of my previous post, it feels like this specific bit lays the whole responsibility of fixing this problem on the oppressed, a number of whom
are doing their fair share, if not moreso, and doesn't give enough weight to the responsibility of the oppressors to listen to the problems raised by the oppressed and having the willingness to have a dialogue about it. You can only do so much when people are willing to leave their minds closed. As someone who once bore the weight of the identity and now as an ally, the constant vigilance LGBTQ+ and allies must put forth to be able to experience basic human decency is exhausting. It only becomes moreso with things like the Supreme Court in the US becoming stacked in favor of the GOP, the party which most often pushes for anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.
Additionally, this bit came off to me as framing LGBTQ+ people being resentful for their treatment and feeling frustrated with straight people as somehow a more serious crime than the decisions made by lawmakers to utterly ruin if not end the lives of LGBTQ+ people. Again, that probably wasn't your intention, but I felt it needed to be addressed.
But as I said in my previous post:
ZombifiedHorror said:
The point I feel you do make that I agree with is that if LGBTQ+ people want to succeed in achieving equality, or as close to it as possible in this awful world, then it is important not to lose sight of the shared humanity and potential for change within those who have long oppressed them and continue to do so. They likewise must do their best to show their own shared humanity. Anger, frustration, and hatred as a result of the oppression they face is understandable and completely valid, but every person must ensure that they do not lose themselves and become consumed by their anger, resentment, and prejudices. If there's one lesson that should be drilled into everyone's head by now from all the entertainment media we consume these days, it should be that since it's in so many works. Even if equality is ever achieved, the past few years have shown in stark relief that LGBTQ+ and allies must be forever vigilant in the defense of what has been achieved, as complacency leads to ruin.
Both sides must be willing to negotiate and make compromises. Without that basic level of decorum, things will only get worse.
As we are doing now, humanity at large all need to be open to these serious conversations and to compromise. We cannot, whoever we are, allow our anger to consume us and must always seek out the shared humanity within us all.
Also, not trying to make this thread about myself, but it’s difficult when a bunch of people view what I post, and either do not say anything, or decide to just disagree with me. I’m not saying you’re wrong for doing so. It just kind of gets annoying in life when people will not listen to a word I say. No harm, no foul though. ^_^
I honestly wasn't going to make the post because I saw the thread the other day and decided to let it go, but the bump actually encouraged me to throw my two cents in. It might have been a mistake on my part, but I'd rather look at it as an opportunity for me, and perhaps you if I offered anything worthwhile, to see things from another point of view that we might not otherwise be exposed to. I hope we can both come away from this exchange having gained something, and I hope that something is not resentment because that was one of the the main points of my previous post, that we all need to have fair, honest dialogues or the collective situation of humanity will only slip further into the abyss.
Suffice it to say, I would rather be your ally than your enemy. We have the same goal, peaceful coexistence for our species, and it does us and the world a disservice to tear each other apart rather than cooperate. Thank you for giving me your outlook on things, it is much appreciated. I can't say whether I've offered anything worth considering, but if so, I hope we can continue to learn from one another.
