Frustrated!

[mayor.lauren]

So I'm feeling a little discouraged right now and just want to rant a bit... I decided to open up my island for a yard sale and the very first person to show up tries to run away and hide on my island and not follow the rules. I don't know if they were a kid and just didn't know proper etiquette, or if they were actually being shady and wanted to steal stuff (although my island is still pretty bare and I had all my flowers blocked off so there wasn't even really anything to steal). They started running around and hiding behind trees, even when I asked them to stop and leave. I had to disconnect and get a new dodo code for everyone waiting to go to the yard sale, and it just felt really icky overall. I know they couldn't have done any real damage since flowers grow back and I had nothing for them to really steal in the first place, but it's still so frustrating when you try to connect with the community and help people get the items they want and people act icky and shady and ruin it for everyone else. I guess its just more the principle of the thing? My island, my rules? Idk, I still want to get rid of my items but am having a tough time trusting the community right now...

 

[CJChamp]

That's exactly why I won't open my island to anyone. You try to do something nice and fun and some people take advantage. It's a shame, spoils it for everyone.

 

[Sara?]

So sorry this happened to you, I understand your frustration, anonymity is something not everyone can handle and some pp use it to do bad things they shouldn't or wouldn't in real life. So sorry !

 

[nyanicat]

I'm really sorry you experienced that, and I hope it doesn't discourage you from opening up your island to others! The odd person comes, but I find that most people are really nice and respectful! The best you can do is immediately disconnect and block that person (also give them a negative review if they're from here on BellTree Forums).

 

[mayor.lauren]

So sorry this happened to you, I understand your frustration, anonymity is something not everyone can handle and some pp use it to do bad things they shouldn't or wouldn't in real life. So sorry !

I'm really sorry you experienced that, and I hope it doesn't discourage you from opening up your island to others! The odd person comes, but I find that most people are really nice and respectful! The best you can do is immediately disconnect and block that person (also give them a negative review if they're from here on BellTree Forums).

Thanks guys. :/ This kind of thing hasn’t happened to me yet, and I’ve been playing since ACGC. I wish I could somehow block this person, but I posted my event in a couple of discords and used turnip exchange to queue, and they left my queue as soon as they got to my island and started being shady, so I didn’t even get their name. It’s just frustrating that people feel the need to act like this on a game meant to be lighthearted and fun. :/

 

[AssassinVicz]

I’ve opened my island to a lot of people and aside from the odd losing a person (either they went to either shops and I didn’t see them, or made their way), I’ve never had issues with anyone’s doing this.

I feel like it’s just an unlucky instance? Not everyone is like this and usually they’d ask if they wanted to do anything. They probably thought what they was doing was funny, when in reality it wasn’t. Don’t let it discourage you, a lot of people are nice here.

 

[meo]

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. That's really a crappy feeling and I understand. I've gone through some waves of needing to take a break from online too at times.

Spoiler

I'd like to think I'm not necessarily an impatient person but I do have a crappy schedule at times. So, usually if I'm on in the moment that's kind of the time I have available and if I try to do things I try to do them in that day. If it's someone I know is reliable then I don't mind having certain things be arranged days out because I know they'll follow up.
I feel like being ghosted has been way more common, at least for my experience, and that's been frustrating for me. I've had people respond for something and I've replied right away and sat with my gates open for 3 hours only to not hear from them. Then when I did, in one situation, when they finally did respond and I said I could do it real quick they wanted to put it off again but meanwhile were actively posting in other topics to do trades.
I get sometimes things occur, but I'm not really sure why communication feels so lacking. A simple I'm interested in xyz but I'm not home at the moment or I'm interested but I'll be available at x time specifically would help so much so one person isn't sitting in limbo for hours.
I also feel wary of doing things and extending it days out because I've been left with things so many times crafted or ordered that the person ghosted from...and it's been a waste on my end to have gotten it.

XD Sorry, I just really needed to rant too after your rant. All in all though, big hug. I find taking breaks help. If a negative thing happens, take a little break from online playing with others whether for a few hours, a few days, etc. I do want to say so many of my experiences have been so much more positive than negative and the community is one of the best gaming communities I've seen.
I'm not sure where your experience stemmed from too but most of the forums have a block function and using that for people you've had a negative situation with sometimes helps if you are worried about not remembering who they were but want to avoid playing in the future.

 

[mayor.lauren]

I’ve opened my island to a lot of people and aside from the odd losing a person (either they went to either shops and I didn’t see them, or made their way), I’ve never had issues with anyone’s doing this.

I feel like it’s just an unlucky instance? Not everyone is like this and usually they’d ask if they wanted to do anything. They probably thought what they was doing was funny, when in reality it wasn’t. Don’t let it discourage you, a lot of people are nice here.

I’ve done A LOT of online trading as well. That’s one of the things I love about this game, is the high focus on collaboration and friendship. And out of all my online exchanges, this is the first time I’ve had a real issue. I’ve had great experiences for the most part, so I know you’re right and it’s just an unlucky instance and a bad egg. Still super discouraging to see people in such an overall nice and kind community being blatantly disrespectful and taking advantage. :/

Post automatically merged: Dec 15, 2020

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. That's really a crappy feeling and I understand. I've gone through some waves of needing to take a break from online too at times.

Spoiler

I'd like to think I'm not necessarily an impatient person but I do have a crappy schedule at times. So, usually if I'm on in the moment that's kind of the time I have available and if I try to do things I try to do them in that day. If it's someone I know is reliable then I don't mind having certain things be arranged days out because I know they'll follow up.
I feel like being ghosted has been way more common, at least for my experience, and that's been frustrating for me. I've had people respond for something and I've replied right away and sat with my gates open for 3 hours only to not hear from them. Then when I did, in one situation, when they finally did respond and I said I could do it real quick they wanted to put it off again but meanwhile were actively posting in other topics to do trades.
I get sometimes things occur, but I'm not really sure why communication feels so lacking. A simple I'm interested in xyz but I'm not home at the moment or I'm interested but I'll be available at x time specifically would help so much so one person isn't sitting in limbo for hours.
I also feel wary of doing things and extending it days out because I've been left with things so many times crafted or ordered that the person ghosted from...and it's been a waste on my end to have gotten it.

XD Sorry, I just really needed to rant too after your rant. All in all though, big hug. I find taking breaks help. If a negative thing happens, take a little break from online playing with others whether for a few hours, a few days, etc. I do want to say so many of my experiences have been so much more positive than negative and the community is one of the best gaming communities I've seen.
I'm not sure where your experience stemmed from too but most of the forums have a block function and using that for people you've had a negative situation with sometimes helps if you are worried about not remembering who they were but want to avoid playing in the future.

Ugh, people can be so frustrating sometimes. I’m with you though that this community is awesome overall and that the positive experiences have far outweighed the negative.

 

[Azrael]

I've wanted to host events on other platforms (like Discord) but stuff like this makes me hesitant! I know this is not always the case. There are plenty of kind people out there and I love helping out the community, but it does suck when one person has to ruin something for everyone like this.

I am glad they didn't take anything or ruin anything you had set up!

 

[maria110]

What a bummer. Maybe it was a kid or someone new to the game. I was accidentally rude once when I was new. I went to do a trade on a person's island and they weren't near the airport. I didn't know where they were. I had seen on the flyover they had a neat parking lot with those car beds so I ran over to explore it and learned that the beds make noise. So I was trying a bed. The person showed up and seemed annoyed. I hadn't harmed anything but I didn't realize at that time that it was poor form to check out people's islands or talk to their villagers without permission. I had met others who were super relaxed so I was confused.

Hopefully if you say to someone "Hey, what are you doing? Please don't do that" they will listen and learn.

 

[mayor.lauren]

What a bummer. Maybe it was a kid or someone new to the game. I was accidentally rude once when I was new. I went to do a trade on a person's island and they weren't near the airport. I didn't know where they were. I had seen on the flyover they had a neat parking lot with those car beds so I ran over to explore it and learned that the beds make noise. So I was trying a bed. The person showed up and seemed annoyed. I hadn't harmed anything but I didn't realize at that time that it was poor form to check out people's islands or talk to their villagers without permission. I had met others who were super relaxed so I was confused.

Hopefully if you say to someone "Hey, what are you doing? Please don't do that" they will listen and learn.

that's the thing, though. i told them to stop. i followed them around my island as they continued to run away and ignored me when i told them to leave. i'm hoping it was just a kid or someone who maybe didn't know english? i even chopped down one of the trees that they were hiding behind and they just ran away to a different tree. there's etiquette to online trading, and it's clear this person either didn't know the rules or didn't care. the whole thing honestly just reminded me of this moment from seinfeld and made me laugh a bit. i'll link the clip here if anyone wants to watch it and get a good laugh

 

[John Wick]

What an asshat!

So sorry you experienced this.

 

[coffeedrinker]

That is terrible. Stories like this keep me from trading or opening up my island. It's a shame, because there are obviously so many helpful and friendly people playing.

 

[Pyoopi]

Unfortunately, I've had some run-ins with some squirrelly people like that. The plus side, they can't do much damage unless you're island ever becomes a giveaway or catalog island.
The downside, well it makes you upset and all those uneasy feelings.

Like for me, I've had people shake my trees, pluck flowers and run like a spooked rabbit on my island. To ease my irritation I just assume it's some really excited child-adult thing, lol.
If they really annoy me, I'll end session like you did. But, I still open island from time time because I really enjoy playing with strangers. I only open my island on this website which generally everyone is a good egg but there is some excited child-adult things that appear.

 

[michealsmells]

That's why I only ever open up my island to people on Bell Tree, and rarely, if ever, do I make my dodo public. Usually I PM it to people since people like to join without telling me first.

 

[Foreverfox]

I'm so sorry to hear that, that really does leave you feeling icky. I would hope that it was a kid who is used to just doing whatever they want on their home island. My husband had a similar experience the first time he opened his island. He posted the rules and the first person that came ran right past him and he said no running. Then it kept crashing and it ended up making him not want to open his island again.

I however, open my island almost every day to people for villager trades and have hosted plenty of events and have never had a problem. My hope is that it was just a one-off bad incident. I'd say, take a break and when the time feels right, try again.

 

[Fye]

so sorry to hear that! that person was being rude and you have every right to be frustrated by them! In my experience the vast majority of the members here are polite and great to trade with so I hope you weren't discouraged from trading here in the future. If you want to play it safe I'd suggest making sure people have high feedback/ratings before trading with them, and leaving someone negative feedback if they're being rude on your island.

 

[mayor.lauren]

so sorry to hear that! that person was being rude and you have every right to be frustrated by them! In my experience the vast majority of the members here are polite and great to trade with so I hope you weren't discouraged from trading here in the future. If you want to play it safe I'd suggest making sure people have high feedback/ratings before trading with them, and leaving someone negative feedback if they're being rude on your island.

I usually do, but this time in particular I posted my turnip exchange link on the TBT discord and the Nookazon discord, so I'm not sure where this person came from. They left my queue when they started acting shady, so I wasn't even able to block them. I'm happy to keep trading on both platforms in the future, but no way am I posting my queue on discord anymore...

 

[Raz]

I usually do, but this time in particular I posted my turnip exchange link on the TBT discord and the Nookazon discord, so I'm not sure where this person came from. They left my queue when they started acting shady, so I wasn't even able to block them. I'm happy to keep trading on both platforms in the future, but no way am I posting my queue on discord anymore...

I never used other platform than TBT to trade in New Horizons. Back when I played NL, I used gamefaqs and most people there were ok. I think it's also that fact that the game is so popular (it's sold more than double the amount of NL in less than a year) that it attracted players that can/want to cause problems to others.

I have to say, I never had a bad experience with anyone on TBT, and I would suggest you to keep using it as your platform of choice to trade with other players.

 

[iamjohnporter67]

And this is why I have trust issues with people, no matter how nice the community is there is always that one person that can ruin everything. I am speaking from my own experience because I had to deal with a lot of toxic people when I first open my island and I haven't opened it back since then. I'm sorry this happen to you.

Post automatically merged: Dec 16, 2020

That's exactly why I won't open my island to anyone. You try to do something nice and fun and some people take advantage. It's a shame, spoils it for everyone.

Thats why I have a problem with the community being "too nice" all the time. You can never know who is being a true friend but they always use you for their own benefits and then they ghost you after they get what they want out of you. This happened to me so many times that I'm always cautious around people.