Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

This thread makes my heart so happy! I am a bisexual woman and I have been with my girlfriend for almost four years now! I am not out to my parents due to being from a VERY conservative religious desi background, but this can be very difficult at times because me and my girlfriend have been talking about getting married recently, but she is also from a super conservative religious family and it makes it difficult for both of us. Both of our sets of parents have been thinking that we are “just roommates” (how CJ and Flick of us, amiright) for all these years, but we take everything one step at a time. This community has been such a pleasure to be a part of and I just love the love and passion of this thread.

I'm asexual and aromantic. I never really knew until the 7th grade, when me and some other friends were talking about it. I can't tell my family because of our religious background, and I would probably get kicked out and wouldn't support at all. Haven't even thought of coming out because I'm just too scared of what my family would think about it.

ok so context: i’m a trans guy and i’ve been out for 4 years and started medical transition about... 2 1/2 years ago. i know, i’m lucky
i feel so so self conscious and invalidated by my own interests. i don’t like societal expectations of masculinity and will gladly express that.
but for some reason i can’t just let myself be feminine sometimes. or i’m not allowed to enjoy art, cute things, i even stopped wearing what i really like a long time ago.
i’m a small guy. cute stuff fits me well.
one time a couple years ago i bought a skirt. i wore it once, and had fun and liked experimenting (and let’s be honest skirts are way more comfortable than pants.)
anyway i felt so guilty for liking it. i never wore it again, and haven’t had fun with clothing like that since.
i feel guilty for enjoying conventionally feminine things. really guilty. like i’m not a real trans person if i don’t stay super masculine all the time.
it sucks. i don’t really think it’s from the community either, it’s mostly from me.
anyhow, anyone have the same experience? i feel lowkey alone haha

Lythelys said:

i feel guilty for enjoying conventionally feminine things. really guilty. like i’m not a real trans person if i don’t stay super masculine all the time.
it sucks. i don’t really think it’s from the community either, it’s mostly from me.
anyhow, anyone have the same experience? i feel lowkey alone haha

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I'm a demiguy and I feel you. I got top surgery almost 2 years ago.
I feel invalid if I enjoy a feminine outfit from time to time. It's like, "hello, you're nonbinary. you can do what the heck you want with your presentation" But I still feel partially like I'm betraying a part of myself somehow?

I'm Panromantic, Demisexual, and Genderfluid, though I prefer male identifying people, and to be referred to as a male.
I go by Marsh Jacob Winchester.

this is a lovely thread full of lovely lovely people

[edited bc i'm shy but i'm ]

I'm bisexual, which is something I've discovered about myself recently. For the longest time, I convinced myself I was simply straight cause I had more of a preference towards women anyway, but I've found myself being attracted to dudes a lot more easily recently. I also really enjoy crossdressing, which isn't just an LGBT thing as I've seen straight people do it too but I know there's a large amount of crossdressers in the LGBT community so I sorta wanted to mention that as this seems like a fairly appropriate place to do so, being a haven/safe space for LGBT people.

kelpy said:

ok so context: i’m a trans guy and i’ve been out for 4 years and started medical transition about... 2 1/2 years ago. i know, i’m lucky
i feel so so self conscious and invalidated by my own interests. i don’t like societal expectations of masculinity and will gladly express that.
but for some reason i can’t just let myself be feminine sometimes. or i’m not allowed to enjoy art, cute things, i even stopped wearing what i really like a long time ago.
i’m a small guy. cute stuff fits me well.
one time a couple years ago i bought a skirt. i wore it once, and had fun and liked experimenting (and let’s be honest skirts are way more comfortable than pants.)
anyway i felt so guilty for liking it. i never wore it again, and haven’t had fun with clothing like that since.
i feel guilty for enjoying conventionally feminine things. really guilty. like i’m not a real trans person if i don’t stay super masculine all the time.
it sucks. i don’t really think it’s from the community either, it’s mostly from me.
anyhow, anyone have the same experience? i feel lowkey alone haha

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I don't think you need to feel guilty for enjoying feminine stuff as a trans man! Being somewhat feminine doesn't all of a sudden invalidate you as a trans man. What you wear doesn't dictate what gender you are. One of my buddies is a trans woman but she does wear stuff sometimes that's traditionally more on the masculine side, doesn't make her any less of a woman. Just wear what you feel comfortable in, wear what you like wearing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise or judge you for it either.

I’m a pan ace which is kind of new to me because up until recently I identified as bi but am trying to open up more to calling myself pan. I also like to be more feminine presenting or gender neutral and even though I am female at birth I don’t really consider myself to have a gender. Just me. So hello!

I think the most important label a person can have is human. Each human has so many intricate layers beneath the surface but we are all human at the core. I love that every human is different from another and each layer that they have had a story behind it as well. If only society as a whole understood the concept!

love this thread! good vibes to all. i'm a nb (genderfluid) lesbian. been struggling with my gender identity for a long time and still am tbh. i'm out to my family as a lesbian and they're very cool with it, but i probably won't come out as nb. for me personally, the lesbian part of my identity is much more important and frankly something that they need to know, since i am gonna end up marrying a girl one day lol

god i love girls

I'm pansexual, but usually use the label bisexual b/c I know labels are supposed to help people understand who you're interested in. I know now people are more familiar with pansexuality, but, b/c I know it may be confusing to understand to some, I usually go with bisexual so that they get a general idea of who I'm interested in without any confusion (if they happen to ask).

I've always known but refused to accept it until I was about 18, probably thanks to people getting more accepting of different sexualities over time. I was deathly afraid of admitting it to myself and constantly tried to talk myself into believing that the thoughts I was having had nothing to do with me liking girls.

I sometimes still struggle with being bisexual b/c I know it in some communities, bisexuality is not accepted as a sexuality and some people believe you need to just "choose one." Despite the fact I know that it's not true, sometimes in my head I think, "what if I'm just some poser?"

I'm only out a very few people, and I've decided that there's no point of coming out to some people. I guess I view "coming out" more as "inviting in." Since it took me so long to accept my "closet," the way I see it is that I worked very hard to make this closet a comfortable place for me to be in, and I don't see the point in coming out to people who would just trample all over the things that I struggled so hard to finally accept. I "invite" people into my closet when I feel comfortable with them, and if I know they wouldn't give me **** over something that took me a long time to accept. I guess my closet is a sacred place, and there's no need for some people to be allowed in if they aren't going to respect it.

I'm a hetero-romantic ace. It's difficult at times because the majority of people don't understand why I'm this way, and others don't even think a person like me exists. I do though. Much love to my fellow aces. ❤

I’m bisexual. It took me a while to figure it out, but I had subtle crushes on female cartoon characters that I didn’t realize were crushes until I was older - having crushes on girls in the real world is rarer for me because I usually know them and don’t look at them that way as much, but I had a wild crush on my girl best friend, and on another girl now. Gradually, I’m drifting closer and closer to girls. I came out in the 7th grade to friends, but first I came out to the other bisexual girl in the grade. It was nice to tell people. My family is homophobic/transphobic and my own father has said things like, “Gay marriage shouldn’t have been legalized” “There is no point in gay marriage” (He says that the point of marriage is to reproduce, but gay people can’t do that, so therefore there is no point) I asked him about bisexuality (For context, I pretend to be a Trump supporter but I really hate him, so my dad has no clue how I really feel) He said he had a woman friend who said she was bisexual, but in the end she married a man, so he was basically saying you have a preference (Yeah, Dad, that’s kinda the point, not all people are perfectly balanced!) and that bisexuality doesn’t exist. It makes me sad, because my parents gave me a great childhood, but if I come out in the future, they may not support me. Sorry for all this heavy stuff, it was nice to get it off my chest.

cloudmask said:

love this thread! good vibes to all. i'm a nb (genderfluid) lesbian. been struggling with my gender identity for a long time and still am tbh. i'm out to my family as a lesbian and they're very cool with it, but i probably won't come out as nb. for me personally, the lesbian part of my identity is much more important and frankly something that they need to know, since i am gonna end up marrying a girl one day lol

god i love girls

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i really relate to this! i'm pan and p genderfluid but honestly i think i've been leaning towards women at this stage of my life. and i'm still weird about discussing my gender identity. like if i can tell people aren't open to it i won't bring it up. i guess gender is more low priority for me and my identity?

Ooh cool a thread to discuss things like this yes

I say I'm pan (thou I kinda question it which I will get into later) thou I'm only out to my sister and strangers on the internet lol. Idk how both of my parents will react to me comin out, esp when they think I'm super straight. They literally do not suspect me of dating people who aren't guys. I've had 1 bf. That's it. I don't discuss crushes with them, and I've never had a gf. I would love to date someone that isn't a cis guy next time I date. I tell myself I'll come out to my parents when I'm dating someone who isn't a cis guy, but that has never happened. It's been literal years now. Like, 3 atleast. It doesn't help that I don't actively seek people to date either. I've had a single crush since then, but I never asked to date them.

I realized my sexuality pretty late. In my junior year of high school I finally realized I was attracted to people's personality, not gender identity, but I thought maybe I was just bi. I still questioned this until my senior year of high school when I had a huge crush on this girl, who was also my first girl crush. Later I learned of pansexual, which I was mistakenly told meant attraction to personality.

Still in my senior year of high school I'm finally using social media and I gain a much bigger understanding of sexuality and gender orientation.

Now this is where I question my sexuality.

I identify as a bisexual woman,

When I was a freshman high schooler, I believed myself to be pansexual as I don't really apply gender when I'm noticing aspects of a person. But a very close friend of mine at the time told me that being pansexual is a phase and that I'm just a bisexual who wants to feel special. This is why I only describe myself as bi, even though I feel my sexuality and the way I find myself attracted to a person correlates more with being pan.

@Stella-Io I feel like I almost understand what you're coming from on preferences. I tend to be attracted based on the person's level of attractiveness (shallow, I know, but hopefully I'll grow out of this as I age) with no regard to gender. But I do tend to be into more feminine personalities with a more masculine physique. I'd say you're definitely allowed to have a preference, it doesn't invalidate you. Just like bisexuals can prefer to date men but still consider themselves bi and vice versa. I think your definition of "you're this sexuality because you have attraction to personalities regardless of a person's gender identity" is a perfect way to describe being pan.

happy pride month yall!

i've been dealing with stuff since pride month began. my parents are keeping me inside; not for quarantine, because they don't want me to 'learn from the lgbt ways' or whatever? it's honestly pretty stupid, and i'm still afraid of telling them about my sexuality--i mean they're planning out my whole future right now, and a lot of it is making so many assumptions that I'm straight. i know they mean well, but i just can't bring myself to tell them.

now about pridefall; i'm getting more insecure, and I keep forgetting to put my social media accounts on private, so i'm constantly getting hate dms + gore videos. my friend has had to report to the police because some homophobe had been sending multiple death threats, so i really need to get off the internet.

seularin said:

i've been dealing with stuff since pride month began. my parents are keeping me inside; not for quarantine, because they don't want me to 'learn from the lgbt ways' or whatever? it's honestly pretty stupid, and i'm still afraid of telling them about my sexuality--i mean they're planning out my whole future right now, and a lot of it is making so many assumptions that I'm straight. i know they mean well, but i just can't bring myself to tell them.

now about pridefall; i'm getting more insecure, and I keep forgetting to put my social media accounts on private, so i'm constantly getting hate dms + gore videos. my friend has had to report to the police because some homophobe had been sending multiple death threats, so i really need to get off the internet.

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Oh man! That’s tough, do you have anyone to talk to about your problems? I do identify as a straight woman (I’m literally pregnant)! Anyway just wanna let you know YOU ARE accepted <3

acnh.eclipse said:

Oh man! That’s tough, do you have anyone to talk to about your problems? I do identify as a straight woman (I’m literally pregnant)! Anyway just wanna let you know YOU ARE accepted <3

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ahh thats so kind i've been struggling with it for a while now, so hearing that makes me happy ;; i do have a couple of friends that i could talk to, but it's just pretty tough since i can't see them atm </3