xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
I'm so tired and I miss my partner 
What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
Great to know Trump supporters apparently live around here [the neighborhood] even though I live in a blue state and I would hope most people here support left-wing politics Yes I'm aware Trump supporters can be found everywhere I just meant why do I need to share a neighborhood with these horrid people
Also newsflash dude it's 2025 not 2020 and Trump lost the 2020 election to Biden and now that that ******* has become President again in 2024 I'm not really sure why it's necessary to continue to have that "Trump for President 2020. MAGA" **** sticker on your car, why don't you rip it off and throw it in the trash where it belongs. I'd love to do so but vandalizing other people's property is illegal so I'm not going to touch other people's cars to avoid consequences.
Also newsflash dude it's 2025 not 2020 and Trump lost the 2020 election to Biden and now that that ******* has become President again in 2024 I'm not really sure why it's necessary to continue to have that "Trump for President 2020. MAGA" **** sticker on your car, why don't you rip it off and throw it in the trash where it belongs. I'd love to do so but vandalizing other people's property is illegal so I'm not going to touch other people's cars to avoid consequences.
QueenCobra
yassified for anonymity
Wish my dog didn’t need this appetite stimulant to eat or even drink. He’s been looking to my cat for comfort lately, smelling her and such, even though they haven’t gotten along in the past few years. She’s worried about him, too, but I don’t know if she can tell he’s sick, or just knows something is wrong.
xSuperMario64x
love of my life 💙💜
it should be illegal for health insurance companies to be for-profit. straight up. peoples' lives are on the line and all they care about is money, it's disgusting.
also just generally terrified of the current state of the world lol.
also just generally terrified of the current state of the world lol.
I don't know how I'm gonna sleep tonight
I've too many thoughts in my head, most of them negative. I haven't seen my noise-canceling headphones in a while (I feel like I might've lost them at home) and my parents think I'm better off without them. That's too bad because I needed them to block out unwanted noise during my field trip. One time it got so loud I had to go outside for a few minutes.
I'm pretty devastated about living without those headphones because I bought them on my 16th birthday last year and they've been the best way for me to accommodate to noisy environments; simply tuning them out without the headphones is hard for me as an autistic person, but my parents are too scared of me being deaf to care about my needs. I know having them on too loud is dangerous and I've been setting the volume a certain way for this reason, but I feel like my parents are taking this too far.
Oh well, I can always buy another one in a pinch. I think. If I don't find mine soon, of course. The ones I use are on Target for $50, and the other brands are way too expensive.
I'm pretty devastated about living without those headphones because I bought them on my 16th birthday last year and they've been the best way for me to accommodate to noisy environments; simply tuning them out without the headphones is hard for me as an autistic person, but my parents are too scared of me being deaf to care about my needs. I know having them on too loud is dangerous and I've been setting the volume a certain way for this reason, but I feel like my parents are taking this too far.
Oh well, I can always buy another one in a pinch. I think. If I don't find mine soon, of course. The ones I use are on Target for $50, and the other brands are way too expensive.
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
I’m still a bit worried about a few things.
Aside from that I’m okay, just tired.
Aside from that I’m okay, just tired.
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themysterybidder
Senior Member
I am so fed up of this arthritis and asthma flare up I've been having for the past two weeks. Whenever I contact any of my 'care team' they tell me they'll get back to me and they never do. I'm never completely pain free but this is unbearable during a flare up. I think I've pulled a muscle in my upper back and chest with coughing so much. I wish my consultant/nurse could experience how I feel on a daily basis then they would change their mind and issue some medication. I feel as if I'm being robbed of even a bit of a life. It's little everyday things are so tricky, for example turning a key in a door, fasten clothing, putting on shoes. I'm so tired aswell and the only things that are keeping me going is my Dad and Blossom.
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I'm noticing my depression is coming back after being in remission for a few years, and it's especially bothersome because I feel like I have a lot of very understandable reasons to be struggling, but not only are they largely things that I lack any power to change, they're also something where if I try to explain my thoughts, generally people either misunderstand my viewpoint (willingly or otherwise), or think that me caring makes me a loser whose viewpoint isn't worth considering.
Hopefully I can get in with my psychiatrist soon to get back on the medication I had positive results with previously. I don't know what exactly happened at the start of the year, but for whatever reason the calendar rolled over and my mental health immediately fell into disrepair, so suddenly and severely that my roommate honestly thought for a moment that I was dying. I wasn't doing amazing before 2025 started, necessarily, but I would do anything to at least get back to that point mentally, especially as I have a large art project I'm almost done with yet cannot bring myself to care about right now.
The "short" version is that I've been an outcast my whole life. I grew up in an unstable home, parents in a revolving door of marriages and divorces, and I lived in my dad's custody up until his passing when I was in high school whereupon I began to live with my mom... only to have to cut all contact with her within five or so years due to her being abusive (something that is an issue on my mom's side of the family). This sadly meant I also had to cut ties with my siblings in order to maintain my safe distance from my mom, so I really don't have family to turn to.
But then outside of the home I never had a great time either. I got the one-two punch of being a nerd well before that was socially acceptable, and being a girl who really wasn't feminine at all, so I was ostracized pretty hard the second middle school hit. I've also been uprooted so many times that the few connections I did manage to make have long been lost. The only saving grace I had was the 2000s era, forum-centric internet, because for once I could actually find little pockets of people who I got along with and who shared my interests rather than shamed them.
I could go on and on about the way the internet has changed, but frankly, I don't like it. I honestly feel like the death of forums in favor of social media and subreddits has lead to a breakdown in what I considered my support networks, because it's hard to have those little subculture pockets when everything is a huge free-for-all, and nerdy things becoming more socially acceptable has, to me, had the monkey's paw effect of making it extremely hard to find other "nerds" that I can actually get along with. It doesn't help that social media in general is a vat of toxic slime where everyone is awful to each other for clout and where people often seem terrified of showing interest in nerdy things without fifteen layers of irony on top, so that if they look too "cringe" they can pivot and assure people that they're not a loser nerd who actually cares about this junk.
But then outside of the home I never had a great time either. I got the one-two punch of being a nerd well before that was socially acceptable, and being a girl who really wasn't feminine at all, so I was ostracized pretty hard the second middle school hit. I've also been uprooted so many times that the few connections I did manage to make have long been lost. The only saving grace I had was the 2000s era, forum-centric internet, because for once I could actually find little pockets of people who I got along with and who shared my interests rather than shamed them.
I could go on and on about the way the internet has changed, but frankly, I don't like it. I honestly feel like the death of forums in favor of social media and subreddits has lead to a breakdown in what I considered my support networks, because it's hard to have those little subculture pockets when everything is a huge free-for-all, and nerdy things becoming more socially acceptable has, to me, had the monkey's paw effect of making it extremely hard to find other "nerds" that I can actually get along with. It doesn't help that social media in general is a vat of toxic slime where everyone is awful to each other for clout and where people often seem terrified of showing interest in nerdy things without fifteen layers of irony on top, so that if they look too "cringe" they can pivot and assure people that they're not a loser nerd who actually cares about this junk.
Hopefully I can get in with my psychiatrist soon to get back on the medication I had positive results with previously. I don't know what exactly happened at the start of the year, but for whatever reason the calendar rolled over and my mental health immediately fell into disrepair, so suddenly and severely that my roommate honestly thought for a moment that I was dying. I wasn't doing amazing before 2025 started, necessarily, but I would do anything to at least get back to that point mentally, especially as I have a large art project I'm almost done with yet cannot bring myself to care about right now.
I feel dreadful. About 2-3pm a headache hit me. Took a 2hr nap, woke-up and it was worse. Took a painkiller, still feels like it is getting worse not better. Drained too.
My partner is lovely though. She came home around 7pm, asked if I'd eaten, suggested ordering from a one of my favourite go-to comfort meal places. Said I wouldn't enjoy it enough to justify the cost tonight. So she went back out to find a local chip shop for a cheap simple hot meal. I've no energy to cook so it is definitely appreciated.
My partner is lovely though. She came home around 7pm, asked if I'd eaten, suggested ordering from a one of my favourite go-to comfort meal places. Said I wouldn't enjoy it enough to justify the cost tonight. So she went back out to find a local chip shop for a cheap simple hot meal. I've no energy to cook so it is definitely appreciated.
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
Another day, another crisis. I ended up bursting into tears in front of my parents because I was stressed about some stuff and they accused me of lying about something when I just misremembered. They said they weren't "mad", but their tone said otherwise. Then they proceeded to mock and reprimand me for crying, as well as saying some really hurtful statements...
I hate that I have such intense reactions to even the smallest things. I genuinely don't know why I'm like this. I also realize that there's no point in telling my parents anything because they just don't listen and get mad instead, but it's not easy when they constantly pressure me to talk. I told my stepmom I feel intimidated by her sometimes, and she said, "Don't put the blame on me, it's your fault for acting this way!"
Anyway, I spent the rest of my afternoon sleeping. It sucks that I wasted my day off, but whatever. Today was ****ty anyways. I feel like a burden to myself and others.
I ended up bursting into tears in front of my parents because I was stressed about some stuff and they accused me of lying about something when I just misremembered. They said they weren't "mad", but their tone said otherwise. Then they proceeded to mock and reprimand me for crying, as well as saying some really hurtful statements...I hate that I have such intense reactions to even the smallest things. I genuinely don't know why I'm like this. I also realize that there's no point in telling my parents anything because they just don't listen and get mad instead, but it's not easy when they constantly pressure me to talk. I told my stepmom I feel intimidated by her sometimes, and she said, "Don't put the blame on me, it's your fault for acting this way!"
Anyway, I spent the rest of my afternoon sleeping. It sucks that I wasted my day off, but whatever. Today was ****ty anyways. I feel like a burden to myself and others.
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Mimi Cheems
you make me wanna make you fall in love ♡
Two customers at work today asked me when I was due / expecting.
It bothers me because I am not pregnant; nor have I ever been. :")
I guess it's a sign to lose weight
It bothers me because I am not pregnant; nor have I ever been. :")
I guess it's a sign to lose weight
QueenCobra
yassified for anonymity
Wow, that is really rude. It's common sense not to ask a woman if she's pregnant, much less assume she is. So sorry this happened!Two customers at work today asked me when I was due / expecting.
It bothers me because I am not pregnant; nor have I ever been. :")
I guess it's a sign to lose weight
Well this has gotten worse, not better.I feel dreadful. About 2-3pm a headache hit me. Took a 2hr nap, woke-up and it was worse. Took a painkiller, still feels like it is getting worse not better. Drained too.
My partner is lovely though. She came home around 7pm, asked if I'd eaten, suggested ordering from a one of my favourite go-to comfort meal places. Said I wouldn't enjoy it enough to justify the cost tonight. So she went back out to find a local chip shop for a cheap simple hot meal. I've no energy to cook so it is definitely appreciated.
Managed to struggle through the morning to get some housework done (completely gutted and reorganised my kitchen). Now it's noon and I'm dying on the couch. My partner's gone out to do the grocery shop and try to find me some migraine patches because painkillers aren't doing a damn thing.
Upside before lying down I put on the breadmaker. The smell is wafting into the living room and is delicious.
Promised myself I'd try to be more of a positive presence on social media (including the forums) but I need to get something out of my chest. It's just boring ex partner stuff to be honest.
I wish they'd stop messaging me all the time. I told them I need time, I muted them on discord and they're still targetting me in their status (not in a mean way. I can tell the status is about me because it's worded like a message.) I'm suffocating. I need time and space if we're going to be friends again/remain friends. At this rate, I'm very close to blocking them.
. Rarity .
revirevision on Discord
Im starting to crumble. I wish a person I know in real life, would stop playing with my heart, I can't take much more of it.
Dunquixote
No dms and discord messages
One of the times I woke up today was when Spanky was snuggle and sleeping with me; I thought she was one of my late cats for a minute because I had a dream with her in it.
It was just a dream but even after going back to sleep and waking up, I’m really sad. I miss her and my other late kitties so much.
In my dream she was really sick and I was trying to save her. The dream looped some scenes a little. A few times she was attacked.
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