What's Bothering You?

seeing fare enforcement makes me so uncomfortable. they’re upsetting so many people. i once got a warning for forgetting to tap my card on a transfer, and the guy took his job way too seriously and read his whole annoying ass script out to me. it made me feel so embarrassed. just now, i heard some lady yelling at them because her physical transfer ticket was for the bus and not the train. they let her stay on i guess but it’s still upsetting to hear. like i’m sorry, the “fares pay for transit” card the transit agencies are pulling is complete bs. tax the rich harder, make public transit free, and leave working class commuters alone.
 
Finn is still not eating much and acts dizzy. He got fluids from the vet yesterday. He’s quieter lately, but still likes licking my legs, licking the pillows, doing his old habits. But he still stumbles and tilts his head. I hope he pulls through.
Finn went to the vet today. He is mostly himself, aside from his head tilt and lack of appetite. Thankfully, his weight is still 17 pounds (his usual size). When Misty (cat), gets too close, he barks at her, like he used to.

He was tired after the vet, but I’m relieved he isn’t as clumsy. He moves a bit better, and ate more this evening.

I still cry about him. Last night I wrote a poem about him, because I needed to get those feelings out. Today I cried and held him in my lap, until he wanted to crawl on my bed. This vestibular stuff is difficult, and I worry about him, but I’m glad he still has his personality and knows he is loved.
 
omg my pc has been giving me issues persistently these past couple of days and i think i might have to take it apart before reinstalling the parts again to find the issue

it keeps black screening whenever i'm gaming but i'm not even overloading my gpu !!!! wondering if it's fixable with a new cable but it is through my display port so... i'm not sure if it means my port is seeing the tail end of its life or what but i want to see if i can problem solve before jumping the gun and upgrading my gpu ( ;´ - `; )

i messaged my cousin and he'll be coming over tomorrow with his spare psu that we'll test out, and his tiny gpu to test if it's the monitor instead. here's hoping i don't actually have to upgrade my gpu because i just know later down the line i'll also have to upgrade my cpu which also means psu ଘ(|lI.‸.)
 
No reactions or replies if u can help it guise ✌️
The depression really bad lmao.
I can't do anything lately. It's been like that since the year started but its gotten real bad over the past couple of weeks.
I cant stand being around any of my friends, and I feel like a horrible person for it. I can't be upset about it around them otherwise they'll also feel bad lmao.
I'm not keeping my room clean. Can't do laundry or anything. I can play 1, maybe 2 games that I find actually enjoyable, if that. Even then the enjoyable window on them is like an hour.
Taking my meds would help if I had a sleep schedule that was consistent or if I ate regular meals but I do neither. And if I do eat a meal by the time I remember to take them it's been several hours and I have to eat smthn else. And this has stopped me from taking multiple medications lol.
No drive to stream, to do art, to do anything really. Overstimulated at every little thing. Hating being in my own body. Thought I had a therapy appt this week but it's not until Monday.
And thats not even mentioning the school stuff which is so barely part of my life now mentally i might as well drop.
Medical stuff. Need to go to doctor to check on my pressure again but God I don't actually want to do that cause I'm just gonna cry because it's stressful and they're just gonna make a huge deal abt it.
Dont even get me started on just stuff happening in the world that makes me scared of being alive.
Its fun im doing great fr.
 
My mom just got out of the hospital. She’s been in there since Friday and she’s on an oxygen tank for 3-6 weeks. I’m glad it’s not a permanent thing, but I’m more worried about it than I’ll admit to.
 
I got into a fight... with my mom. And then my sister... she said things. She threatened me, and it just keeps replaying in my head She said she'd fight me if I kept up... my behavior. She didn't care how I felt. It was about supporting our mom, no matter what.I hate being autistic. It makes everything harder. They just don’t understand, and I just... I hate talking to them. I wish they would just leave me alone, stop judging every little thing I do.And if I mess up again, they'll take my stuff away. My phone, my charger... It’s like I’m on thin ice all the time.
 
Over the past year, we have become friends with this one couple and they actually seem interested in socializing with us. Either way, they have been having a hard time recently with employment and it just really sucks because everytime it looks like things are going to go well, something else happens that squish it. It isn't self destructive things either, but things outside their control or influence.
Like recently, the company decided to do construction and remodel and relocation of employees, resulting in cutting their commission which results in workers paying to have a job rather than being paid to work. And then the health insurance going up a ridiculous amount too.
I just hope something works out for them soon.
Employment alone is hard, but it's even harder with health problems or kids or debt hanging in the background too.
Also, if AI going to be implemented everywhere, what is going to be done to help people who can't seem to find a way to adapt to such a huge change for income/employment? I mean yeah I guess a universal income to cover basic needs is an idea.. but like I'd imagine most people would still want to do something? And I'd be surprised if they could afford a hobby on that. Would places take volunteers? Would they allow them to eventually merge and actually get paid something?
Oof rabbit holes that are kind of a time waster. We don't know anything in life until it is happening real time.
 
My work made a rule where we have to show up 20 minutes before we open for a "team meeting". The meeting has never happened. My coworkers just sit around talking about nothing. I am wasting my time. I am NOT a morning or pep person. I've been there the longest. I don't need this bs
 
Being told by my younger brother "I don't really love you" hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I don't understand why he's such an ******* (besides the fact he's a teenager, I guess). He's rude, selfish, manipulative, and a pathological liar. I've had it up to here with his ****ty attitude and hurtful words.
 
Back
Top