What's Bothering You?

really bummed the hair stylist I booked with just messaged to reschedule me for the third time!! despite it being a (somewhat) understandable reason, im still irritated that I had to make several adjustments to my work schedule from her previously asking to change my appt day. I can’t keep wasting my time.

at this point I feel like it’s not meant to be and tempted to ask for my deposit back. I hate being that person tho and I already get so anxious about the hair salon, I just wanted to do something nice for myself. I really hate the way my hair looks rn and desperately need to cut off the damaged ends.

kind of a silly thing to complain about I know but I’m just bummed!!! I haven’t even responded yet because i don’t know what to say ugh. 🥺
 
I hardly slept if I got any sleep at all. Jewels was naughty again, but it was mostly because I’m anxious about going out today to my niece’s and being able to finish my entry in time. My mom said we won’t be there too long, but she said that last tike and we were there into the evening. I’ll be bringing my tablet to work on my entry there just in case, but not sure how well I’ll do with all the kids and especially my dad.
 
My Shih Tzu has vestibular disease.(inner ear infection) He’s getting better, thankfully, but it’s hard to watch him struggle with his head tilted to one side. I’ve heard this affects his balance, and he feels dizzy. I’ve read about the disease, but I wish pets could tell you how they feel.
 
Not a big bother, but...

As I was pretty down to the wire putting together my Aetherial Aesthetics entry, I didn't really have enough time to fill out my written portion and elaborate, only pointing out what the images were...and accidentally missing one when listing them, lmao. Oh well, at least I submitted it on time.
 
I feel like I’m not a good person, and no, that’s not due to anything that happened here. I know how I’ve acted on this site years ago, and I’ll admit I’m not necessarily proud of it. It’s been four years since it all, but it’s still fresh in my mind.

I’m a selfish person. There was a point I was temporarily staying with my mom, and I wasn’t grateful. She got me the best job I had ever, and I’m saying that as someone who is Bipolar. I’m making the most money I ever made, and a very generous amount of money for the work I have to put in.

My mom is best friends with her upstairs neighbor and she likes to hang out with him. I don’t get along with the guy. He provokes me, asks me to take my shirt off and keeps insisting on calling me my deadname. He tells me I’m beautiful, which is not something I want to hear as a non-binary person. I don’t like him and ask her not to hang out with him when I’m staying there, but I feel like a selfish human being not allowing her to have friends over when I’m staying with her for rent-free.

My grandma blew up at me recently because I didn’t sign my name on her birthday card. She is very homophobic and transphobic, so signing my chosen name on her birthday card wouldn’t be the brightest move. I also can’t bring myself to sign my deadname, so I left it unsigned.

I feel selfish for not being able to sign the name given to me at birth one time just so she can be happy on her birthday.

She’s spent the past few hours asking me why I don’t like her. She knows I’m keeping something from her and asks me why I can’t trust her with that piece of information. She’s already angry with me for being into girls, but little does she know that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I shouldn’t be on the verge of tears when someone tells me I’m a good person. I want to believe that I’m not as selfish as I think. I want to believe that I’m good.
 
Because we played together and sent each other gifts there, my current main island reminds me of the person who's heart I broke. I'm trying to not let it make me uncomfortable, but it's been especially hard tonight. I might have to delete it and restart, especially since it's an island where I want to allow myself to be vulnerable/myself.
 
I was off work for a couple weeks recently with some health problems (I had a doctors line, it was somewhat serious) despite that I still tried to work for most of that time off but today I basically got a telling off by one of my customers for not supporting them well enough recently, I just apologised and we moved on but like holy ****, corporate world sucks
 
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