What's Bothering You?

I'm scared I came down with something because I woke up, I can't smell anything at all.

I tried to smell spices but I can't. I hope this isn't related to Covid.
 
I almost got my best friend to push me away. he told me finally what i was doing was not normal. :/ He keeps me waiting though for a response; why can’t he just reply once and say he can’t talk. he said i should know better though. he’s right i guess but it still hurts. still hurting about him having a gf now too; i didn’t want valentine’s day to come either and now there is no avoiding reminders.

also sick with a cold and acid reflux is back after being mostly gone since I first treated it. the last couple of weeks or month i’ve been not myself and should get help but i can’t talk to anyone and the only person i can won’t listen to me and isn’t here for me anymore. when he is, he tells me he doesn’t want to hear it and yells at me for being stupid. :/

Edit: I finally told my mom part of what is going on and it helped relieve some of the stress at least. it hurt talking about it but not as much as i thought it would or as much as holding it in would.
 
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I think I came down with my parent's cold. Cause I'm feeling so miserable right now. I can't smell very well, everything I drink tastes disgusting. I haven't felt like this since Covid.

I also look terrible, and for me. Me having bed head just makes me feel so bad about myself.

Good thing I don't have any date I guess.
 
I’m beginning to lose faith in Nintendo. It doesn’t matter if these “rumors” of an upcoming Nintendo Direct are true or false. What matters is that I waited too long for new announcements of their retro libraries.

Heck, even last year, Nintendo has been slow on their promises. The annual Pokémon Presents said that Pokémon HOME would support Scarlet/Violet in “Early 2023”. But it didn’t get support in March or April of 2023. And when we waited until the late end of May, they tweeted that it would be ready soon, only to say that it was an error to announce too soon. If you’re gonna take too long to release exciting updates when promised, then I will give up completely.
 
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computer died with my dragon drawing in it...
I tried to recuperate it from someone else computer but their computer died too.
no more working computer in the house
my drawing....😭
I was already not in a great mood today, overwhelmed with several things, now that...⚰️
 
The stupidity of others currently, including the unwaveringness of people who refuse to compromise. I don't know why I even try anymore.
 
I’m beginning to lose faith in Nintendo. It doesn’t matter if these “rumors” of an upcoming Nintendo Direct are true or false. What matters is that I waited too long for new announcements of their retro libraries.

Heck, even last year, Nintendo has been slow on their promises. The annual Pokémon Presents said that Pokémon HOME would support Scarlet/Violet in “Early 2023”. But it didn’t get support in March or April of 2023. And when we waited until the late end of May, they tweeted that it would be ready soon, only to say that it was an error to announce too soon. If you’re gonna take too long to release exciting updates when promised, then I will give up completely.
Oh I haven't been really keeping up to date with game news. February is usually the time a direct comes around, now that I think about it. I'm really not sure what to expect if one comes around. But I'll still tune in if there is one.

I waited forever for Phantasy Star Online 2 to make it overseas. Sega promised that it would happen. The game came out in 2012 and the only way to play it was to create a Japanese account. I didn't understand what I was doing (not knowing Japanese and all) so I quit. They eventually started killing any account that wasn't from Japan. And in 2022 I heard they finally got around to localizing it if they ever did (10 years later) So Nintendo might suck at times, but they can never suck as much as Sega does.
 
i'm pretty overwhelmed with working two jobs, trying to finish my masters degree this semester, applying & interviewing for jobs, and preparing to move at some point this year. it's all happening at once and i feel like i can't breathe.
 
I went to the doctor’s today with my mom to get medicine for my cough and to see if there is anything else I can take for my depression. It wasn’t going to be a happy visit since we were going to talk about something I did that isn’t good. When they asked me stuff I froze and got overwhelmed and shut off. I did explain as best as I could. But I realize now i forgot about the main reason for my feelings; I just don’t feel comfortable telling them it didn’t help she was not my regular doctor; that threw me off a lot right away. i left frustrated and right now I still am. it was a successful visit though for medicine - got prescribed something for my cold and to help with anxiety/mood/depression.

when i talked to my mom this week about stuff, she said she’d look into safe dating sites for me, but I’m pretty sure she forgot. I don’t know why she’d want to look into i for me; i do know there is a lot of dangers and I have no idea how to go about carefully or what to do exactly. my heart is not ready even though i think this is the only way I can get myself to move on. I don’t really want to, but I need to do something to keep me from falling further apart.

I’m so sad 💔.
 
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