daringred_
✧ ghost lesbian ✧
girlfriend still hasn't come. monday she moved the day because of work. tuesday she was sick and hurt her arm and had to go to the walk-in. yesterday, she overslept and then said she was scared because she's "too fat" and worried we won't both be able to sit/sleep on my (single) bed. today she just flat out said she can't. wasn't even willing to try, she just kept saying she can't and that she's scared but doesn't know why. her gran fell over again and had to be hospitalized this afternoon anyway, but. i don't know what to do anymore. there's been some arguing and a lot of me trying to convince her to no avail. i don't know what i'm supposed to have done wrong or if i'm being played or what. she might be coming tomorrow/saturday? i'm not holding my breath anymore though. i offered to go up to her instead but warned that we might have to visit the hospital if i have a super bad panic attack and can't get it under control, which there is precedent for because the last time i went up to visit her, i had a panic attack so bad that i was breathless for hours, threw up, had to go home immediately, couldn't go on the first train alone and was ill the following day. since this would be another new environment, a lot of new people (her family), and the first time i'd be seeing her in almost 2 years, it could be even worse, so i wanted her to be aware and prepared in advance, but she said she wasn't putting me through that and would come down so. idk. guess we'll see.