still depressed and i didn't sleep well. I was late for work this morning because i couldn't find my keys. They were found in the wrong drawer no idea why I did that
just got home not long ago and im really hyped and I would love to do some stuff (mostly record a yt video) but I'm also exhausted from driving for 2 hours and going swimming for however long
maybe I'll just get something to eat and go lie down for an hour or so. it's only 5pm so I still have some time before I need to go to bed.
I have to go to my grandma's to eat supper there. I love her and all, but I really don't feel like going today. And I have no idea what it's called, but we're eating this flaky pastry thing with chicken and white sauce in it, I've had it before and it's absolutely awful. I wanted to stay home and enjoy a bag of popcorn while watching Poofesure's Wii Party videos, but instead I'm dragged to see my needy grandma and eat one of my least favorite meals. ****ing fantastic.
I haven't really been taking good care of my amaryllis plant lately. last year I repotted it and it was growing a bit but now it's just not doing very well and I'm afraid it might be dead. I just placed it outside and watered it, and if it doesn't start growing again idk what I'll do. I'll be sad bc I've had this plant since December of 2016 and I don't want it to die now. I don't want to have to get a new one. I mean ig I don't really know how long these plants are supposed to last, and ig it's pretty notable that I've kept it alive for this long. I just feel bad, like I haven't taken good enough care of it. I haven't seen it bloom since around 2019. now I don't even know if it'll ever bloom again. this flower is quite special to me and I'm putting a lot of guilt on myself for letting it get this bad. I just haven't thought about taking care of it. it's in a room that I don't go in often bc if it's in my bedroom the cats will get it. I just thought about it a minute ago and I put it outside. really praying that a miracle happens and it comes back and starts growing again. if not I guess I'll have to get a new plant.
edit: apparently an amaryllis can live for decades so that makes me feel even worse.
I don’t mean to group all minors into a specific category, but the one’s at my job are so immature. I don’t mean their work ethic, like some of them work. It’s just that one of them in particular is spreading a rumor that involves me and it’s not true. It’s actually a harmless rumor, but the word gets around. A friend of mine told me about the rumor and I asked if she knew who started it but all she said was it’s going around between the minors. There’s one of them who is a drama queen and he likely started it. It doesn’t help that this person doesn’t seem to like me all that much, but there’s really no proof to the rumor. He thinks he knows more than he does, but he doesn’t.
The rumor? That I have a crush on my favorite person. But… I actually don’t. I love her so much, but it’s not like that. I won’t lie, sometimes we act like a couple but it doesn’t go past physical touch. It’s not like we are kissing or anything. The rumor eventually changed into that I am dating her. That is also not true, and I appreciate the people who are mature enough not to buy into that rumor and ask me if they have any questions.
I actually may have feelings for someone else. My favorite person knows about my feelings towards that person, and aware of where we stand. She knows of my BPD and is very accepting of that. She knows how to treat me and respond to me in a way where I don’t feel upset or pressured. She never responds negatively to my “splitting.” (It’s a BPD term, for those unfamiliar.) She’s also 1000% okay with it. The splitting doesn’t happen too often, but I’m so thankful for how reassuring and comforting she is and has been. Yes, I do love her. I love her a lot, but it’s not like that.
I just wish the rumors would STOP. I think people need to educate themselves and stop making assumptions.
I went into a store and brought something and at the counter the person asked me if I wanted a receipt and I said "she's alright" (kinda like an alternative to "she'll be right" which is a common saying here) and the person laughed at me I'm confused it wasn't supposed to be funny lol. Obviously it sounded funny to her.
Also why is my ankle aching under my injury, it's never been sore in that spot before
debating on buying a guitar or not. i want to learn so i’d get an acoustic first but they’re so expensive. i’ve been looking online at target and walmart (yes i know those are not the most ideal places to look for a guitar) the most i would spend on one is maybe $60. i mean, i have the money to get something more expensive but i don’t want to spend a whole lot.
i’ve been also debating between buying a guitar or a midi controller. i’ve always wanted to make music on garage band and i know a little bit of piano and with a midi controller i can possibly expand more on that knowledge, but i also kind of want to learn something new.
My Internet's gotten kinda bad lately, pages take longer to load and uploading images is a real challenge.
Also, Greg is starting to piss me off in Table Tennis Return Challenge. Like, dude, stop hitting the ping-pong balls so quickly and aggressively. I'll never get the "200-pointer" stamp at this rate.
AND I COULD'VE GOTTEN MORE THAN 126 POINTS IF MY WII REMOTE WOULD JUST WORK PROPERLY FOR ONCE.
I've been having to force feed my rabbit Theodore this liquid fibre hay purée stuff to help his digestion. I have to give it to him everyday and it's been a week so he's pretty pissed off at me. Luckily he's pooping better though. Still feels bad that he hops away when I go to pick him up cause he knows it's medicine time. Sorry mate.
The amount of kids on the internet who make sexual jokes is like. god stop it’s not funny and it’s ruining the convo/mood lmao
ik kids can be immature but still, i can‘t be bothered to tolerate this
I watched the last episode of School Live and I had a flashback to something that happened a few years ago. I don't want to spoil the show, so I won't get into detail. All I'll say is it was rough. Not once have I ever cried to a piece of entertainment, but I came close there.
I can’t believe that there’s a wrong way to trim your toe nails. They’re supposed to be trimmed in a square shape?
I usually would just follow the curve of my nail bed. Well, because of this, I pulled out an ingrown toe nail today. It was pretty swollen and painful.
I gotta stop scratching my leg against every little sharp thing. A few days ago I accidentally scratched it against a metallic container of chocolate, and today I scratched it against the edge of my textbook. It really hurts. ; ;
I saw a Pittsburgh Penguins NHL jersey with a missing number, so it was hugely discounted. 75% to be exact. I was thinking of buying it and using a seam ripper to get the rest of the numbers and the name off, so I could sell it as a blank jersey. Huge missed opportunity. I should’ve done that.