What's Bothering You?

Cruel and heartless comments online. And my horrible habbit of reading cruel and heartless comments online, to offend myself on purpose. I do it all the time and I have a hard time stopping myself from falling down the rabbit hole of toxic comment sections, even though I know I'm gonna be all angry and upset afterwards.
 
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ended up falling into a disgusting and icky rabbit hole on instagram and twitter. i wish i never stumbled upon it because i havent stopped thinking about it.
 
I thought I heard multiple people say it’s sad I have a crush on someone “because they’re way out of his league.” I know most people consider me ugly, but the whole expression of a “league” in dating is so shallow. It honestly sounds like something incels made up and became a mainstream idea. There are some days I wish I could get plastic surgery so I didn’t have to hear stuff like that. Of course what I heard could have just been about a different person or another auditory hallucination.
 
I came home from school today with an award because my parents’ constant pressure to have perfect grades has given me the highest GPA in the grade. My dad came in the room, pushed it aside, and asked why the house wasn’t clean. I didn’t even want it; I don’t want to be the best of the best anymore. All I’m asking for is some recognition for being the person they want me to be.

I’m also really sick and tired of being invisible. I just found out we’re going on a nightmare family trip for Thanksgiving. Great. I get to see people I haven’t seen in a year and I’ll just end up playing around on my phone because nobody will acknowledge my existence.
 
I want to be able to sleep at night.

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i've had discoid eczema on the back of my left hand for a few months now. it doesn't bother me generally, but sometimes i look at it and think, like, "wow, what a freak", and "i look diseased". it's the only eczema i have, apart from a patch on my right hip that just flared up this week, and so random. no clue what caused it, but regular cream and eczema specific cream don't seem to improve it or even make it any less red lol.
 
I really wish we could lock our own threads, lol. I know about the marketplace, but I’m talking everywhere.
 
My headache and the itchiness from the mosquito bites won’t go away. It’s been two and a half days now. I wonder if I have an infection.
 
Had my first counseling session (finally) and it was...eye opening. She read me like a book, it's kinda scary lol. Right now there's too much on my mind to actually process things though 😔
 
A minor thing, but I went through the McDonald's drive through and pretty much had to do 3 point turn because one of the turns is so tight that my ute cannot make the turn. Sometimes I can make it in one shot, other times I misjudge it. But this time these two guys in the store were watching me and laughed at me...so embarrassing lol
 
I wish people would stop inserting themselves into conversations where they have no place. It’s like, two people talking or a problem is already solved… then the person continues it a day later or joins the drama afterwards. Just mind your own business.
 
I wish people would stop inserting themselves into conversations where they have no place. It’s like, two people talking or a problem is already solved… then the person continues it a day later or joins the drama afterwards. Just mind your own business.

One of the reasons I left my job, tbh. - Got a lot worse after the pandemic.
 
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