Toxic Community

[staticistic1114]

ive been really addicted to this fps and it's my first in years since ive stopped bc of college and naturally i wouldnt be so good at it but it's really fun so it kept me hooked

there were times where i was paired with really toxic people but i try my best to ignore and not respond to them, especially since we're in an unranked game mode so your points don't really count

im at a point where i have really good games where i carry to win or really bad games where i get insta headshotted or 1v5ed rip, however, today i had an ok game where im not mvp bc the other team members get the kills so there's no need for me to do anything but use my abilities and fulfill the objective

at some point, everyone died but me and there was no way i could have won that round but i tried either way, so this guy in our team turns on his mic and tells me to never play this game again and uninstall and ran down a list of insults, one other teammate asked me not to listen to him

later in the game he was the only one dead and asked me to revive him (im the only one who could do that) and i refused and told him bc of his bullying im not helping him, he went on and on insulting me and asking me to kill myself at this point two others stood up for me saying that im not even bad and asking him why he's so mean to me

we won that round and i kinda helped get a few wins too, but although others didnt feel the same way the bully did it really put me in a bad mood and i cant stop thinking about it (evidently from this post) and it's kinda affecting my mental state but i really love playing the game

has anyone had this problem too with these toxic communities? how do you deal with them? it's really not as easy to just ignore and pretend you didnt see/hear

 

[peachmilke]

I've played my fair share of toxic games (league being the big one as it's f2p) and honestly sometimes you just need a break if it is getting to the point it's affecting your mental state! Also muting the chat (or toxic player in specific) the second things start getting out of hand is also something you should probably do. People will always be jerks on those types of games unfortunately, even if they are the ones playing poorly...

 

[Midoriya]

I don‘t play PC games anymore partially because of how many toxic communities are out there and partially because I’m more interested in console games nowadays. I’m sorry this happened to you though; people can be such jerks. I would second above poster’s suggestion at muting them or the chat and not playing with them again. Obviously there are good players out there that are also kind people (as you mentioned in your post), so I would focus on playing with those sorts of people and ignoring the bad apples. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Karmahri]

is this game overwatch I'm really sorry you had that experience >_<
I usually play healers/supports so def understand the toxicity you feel and was bullied before so now I rarely use mic unless I absolutely have to.

 

[staticistic1114]

is this game overwatch

close! its valorant and yeah i love playing support characters, i never use mic ever bc i dont want people knowing im a girl so its always chat

cant imagine what he would have said knowing im a girl too might have been much worse lol

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

There's always going to be toxic players. It sucks. I used to play COD Zombies and I'd always be the top player in my team. I usually never had the mic on because I didn't want them to know I was a female. One time, I was playing and I decided to turn the mic on so I could say something. They realized I was a girl and started calling me all kinds of names and saying I sucked. And as they said this, they all got downed in the dog round while I was the last one easily surviving. They all rage quit. It sucked but at the same time, I expect it from those kinds of games especially. I think what I would do in your situation is try to focus on the fact that people actually came to your defence. It doesn't often happen and it is a positive thing to come from that experience. I hope you can take comfort in knowing you weren't left to be hurt on your own but had good people around who stood up for you <3

 

[staticistic1114]

I think what I would do in your situation is try to focus on the fact that people actually came to your defence. It doesn't often happen and it is a positive thing to come from that experience. I hope you can take comfort in knowing you weren't left to be hurt on your own but had good people around who stood up for you <3

that's actually a really sweet thought, thank you

 

[Hanif1807]

I've encountered several toxic people in few games and some of them are really getting on my nerves probably because i'm a sensitive person. I always try my best not to reply them but there's a time when i couldn't hold it any longer i had to reply them and the results weren't good to me i ended up having Insomnia after the game

I really need to learn how to ignore them, counter them, or even better, give them positivity

 

[necrofantasia]

not me but my kid sister was called a "stupid b****" while playing an online game, she's 9...
i'm worried about her

 

[Seastar]

I tend to avoid toxic communities if I can. Most of the games I play either don't have a chat system or it's just a virtual pet/adoptable website and people are less likely to be losing their minds over it.
In fact, once the controversy over Pokemon Sword/Shield started, I completely stopped visiting a Pokemon forum I used to be on (Plus the rest of the site was Pokemon news I don't need anymore). I don't want to find out what happened to that community.
Probably the worst things I've seen recently were a few very rude people on Club Tortimer. Honestly, those kind of people shouldn't be playing Animal Crossing. Though, it felt pretty good one of the times where we (me and two other players) ditched a jerk by going on a tour lol.

 

[Mick]

I play a lot of Rocket League (think soccer but with flying cars) and it also has a ranked mode where people get highly competitive. Of course, when you are playing with teams, this means that it is usually your fault when the team loses, because otherwise it would be the fault of your random teammate and they don't like that.

So yeah, I've seen my fair share of toxicity! Had people tell me all kinds of things (also insults and worse, but I can't share that here) but it just doesn't affect me in the slightest. In fact, I always want to win but at the same time I manage to always play for fun, and I can't bring myself to get that angry over a rocket car...

Sure, sometimes it was my fault for playing bad, sometimes not. But I've found that by being a nice player, you can usually find other nice people to play with, I have made like 20 friends in that game!

I always wonder what it must be like for people like that. Like, who hurt you. Why are you playing a game if you aren't having fun? Why play competitively if you can't deal with the occasional loss? Matchmaking is going to make sure you don't win every game...

The funniest thing to me is when they go "wow you suck SO much you should go back to *insert lower ranks here*" because the part of the game that sets up the matches has literally one job: find people of around the same skill level and put them together :')

 

[brockbrock]

I wanted to give you a hug after reading your post. As you've seen from the posts above, you're not alone.

It is so much easier said than done to brush off mean comments, bullies and negativity. Often times we allow one negative comment in a sea of positivity to dictate our mood, self-confidence or self-worth. I'm so sorry this mean-spirited person made you feel this way. I have had similar experiences in past games and can relate to what you write. We allow their words to linger in our minds longer than they deserve to.

There's one example in particular, when I was much younger, that at the time was really stressful for me. I was harassed by someone with a lot of time and resources on their hands to see to it that I became miserable at their hands (for seemingly no reason... there was no context leading up to this). I eventually had to stop playing the game and change e-mails, which sucked at the time because it was my escape and I had achieved a lot and invested many hours. I was hacked in the game and then my e-mail was hacked too. It was pretty scary as I was relatively young, but luckily that was the worst of it and nothing worse happened afterwards. It scarred me for a while.

I remind myself of this, when I'm faced with a toxic person who's words or actions have hurt me: people who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.

If it's alright, I want to also share one of my favorite quotes:

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
- Michael J. Fox

Unfortunately, we are always going to be exposed to toxic people. It's an inescapable facet of life. We also can't control the actions of others. We are only in control of our own. This person who bullied you doesn't have the right hold you emotionally hostage. You are worth so much more than that. The problem isn't you. The problem is them. Their words at the end of the day mean nothing and have nothing to do with you. It feels like a personal attack, but it's not. This person likely has and will continue to lash out at others too, because it's how they operate. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

How awesome that people in your group stood up for you!? If you can, focus on that positive behavior! It will drown out that bully's garbage.

Hugs to you!! If you want to vent you can always drop me a PM.

 

[Feferily]

I have a feminine voice and a childish voice so whenever I speak on MIC in overwatch I tend to prepare myself for toxicity. So I also hold back unless my friends are also in game. But toxicity in gaming is so tiring. It got so bad once that it forced a switch (I have dissasociative identity disorder) and my little was being harassed and she couldn't understand it... that was probably the worse?

Also lots of guys trying to get into my messages so they can send me uh
.... lewd unwanted advances.

Friends want me to join them in league of legends but I've heard the toxicity is worse. How is Valorant as a game, OP? Also, if you ever need support, you'll have lots here!

 

[staticistic1114]

not me but my kid sister was called a "stupid b****" while playing an online game, she's 9...
i'm worried about her

that is really concerning, i wouldn't opt for taking the game away from her bc i know how much that sucks but i really hope you can figure out a way to protect her from the bullies, she is far too young!

Of course, when you are playing with teams, this means that it is usually your fault when the team loses, because otherwise it would be the fault of your random teammate and they don't like that.

I KNOW RIGHT?? this is so true, and honestly? my team was really good its just the bully was a duelist character so he kinda *has* to get the kills but that doesn't necessarily mean he's good lol the game isn't about getting kills at all

Unfortunately, we are always going to be exposed to toxic people. It's an inescapable facet of life. We also can't control the actions of others. We are only in control of our own. This person who bullied you doesn't have the right hold you emotionally hostage. You are worth so much more than that. The problem isn't you. The problem is them. Their words at the end of the day mean nothing and have nothing to do with you. It feels like a personal attack, but it's not. This person likely has and will continue to lash out at others too, because it's how they operate. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

your thoughts are very appreciated, thank you for your kindness and sorry to hear about your experience with some no-body who thinks his opinion about you matters

Friends want me to join them in league of legends but I've heard the toxicity is worse. How is Valorant as a game, OP? Also, if you ever need support, you'll have lots here!

valorant is really fun, its a 5v5 search and destroy kind of game with an economical system to buy abilities and weapons. and yeah, the reason i came here was bc i dont really have anyone who i can talk to about this and was hoping to get advice from the nice people in this community <3

 

[DJStarstryker]

I just don't play most online games because the communities are so toxic, especially towards women and other people with higher pitched voices. I'm currently playing through Grand Theft Auto V, but I'm just playing through the single player story mode. I would never play this game online. I've experienced people treating me terrible and saying gross and sexist things at me just because they hear a female voice and for no other reason.

There are many, many video games out there. I don't need to play ones where people treat me like I'm a piece of garbage.

 

[staticistic1114]

I've experienced people treating me terrible and saying gross and sexist things at me just because they hear a female voice and for no other reason.

this is why i never use mic lol its horrible

 

[Manah]

This is one of many reasons why I prefer solo games, or at least games with limited ingame communication only.

Preeeetty bold of a guy who died before you to insult you for trying to save the win.

 

[trashpedia]

Yeah I prefer single player games for this reason. I only feel safe playing competitive multiplayer games when I have friends around so I have assurance, not to mention it’s really fun that way too.

 

[DarkDesertFox]

This is another reason why I don't play on PC. Whether it's the chat or mic, there just seems to be a lot of toxicity across all games. I don't want to rag on PC gamers in general, but the whole "master race" thing and showing off their expensive setup is a real turnoff to me. I paid my friend to make a gaming PC and I really don't get much use out of it. Xbox definitely has its fair share of toxic players, but really the only time I get those messages are fighting games and I usually have friends only on for communication so it's not an issue. I'm sure if I jumped into competitive on a mic for Overwatch I would get some toxic people though, but that's why I stay away from it. Too stressful, I would rather play the fun modes with less pressure.

 

[Romaki]

I just mute those people or leave a toxic round. There's no point in me carrying someone else's frustration, it's just a game afterall.

But I stopped playing these kinds of games. I was a good player in my main game, but it's just no fun when people are mean to you. As I said, I just mute trolls, but when people personally attack me it just leaves such a bad feeling in the pit of my stomache and gives me anxiety attacks.

I'm so happy people came to your defense though, that's so rare! I used to be bullied pretty badly on Minecraft TIMV that it eventually made me cry and leave the game for years. I can't really play the game anymore, but that experience taught me to speak up and help others when needed. It felt like a full circle moment when I saw another player bullied in a similiar fashion and I could help her situation through mediating. Afterwards I played a couple of rounds with her until her friends came online and she could play with them. A bad experience can turn into something nice.

We can't expect people to never say bad things or make mistakes in emotionally heavy situations (even if it's "just a game", the competition aspect can still be pretty impactful on vulnerable people), which makes speaking up as a bystander so so so much more important. You can't reasonably respond either when you're hurt, so these situations can easily escalate. It's really important to comfort the person who got hurt.