The out of context quotes thread

[BakaRina]

"Do we have any orange juice left?"
*pours the remaining juice into their cup*
"Sorry, we’re all out."

 

[Beanz]

“oh hi marsh- oh wait that’s not marshal! that’s actually a rock.” -me somehow mistaking a rock for marshal from the side of my eye

 

[Midoriya]

"I'll have you know I graduated the top of my class of the U.S. Navy OGRE,
and I've been involved in NUMEROUS secret raids on LORD FARQUAD,
and over 300 confirmed ONIONS,
and trained in gorilla warfare,
and the top sniper of the entire U.S. military force!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Honestly, Pierre looks pretty good for 119." -Poofesure

 

[BakaRina]

"Nun-chucks are illegal in some states but guns are not. So, if you tie two guns together and create gun-chucks, it's neither legal or illegal."
"Schrodinger's gun-chucks."
"Why does Schrodinger have so many things?"
"Schrodinger's hoarding problem."

 

[junebuggy.99]

"that is the most menacing little wall in ****ing existence" -Poofesure

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"Samus rolls up into a ball and proceeds to poop bombs."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"that is the most menacing little wall in ****ing existence" -Poofesure

That six-inch wall in the middle of the lane is almost as bad as the 10-pin

"My hamburger look-alike in Tomodachi Life can get a girlfriend, but I can't. I'm about to cry. This is sad." -Also Poofesure

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I don't support eating a lot of Frosted Flakes, but I do like Tony the Tiger." -My gym teacher when I complimented him about his shirt

 

[-Mars-]

"Oh look it's the dudebros lets go observe them in their natural habitat"

 

[VanitasFan26]

"I don't know how to put this, but... I'm kind of a big deal."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Me and Shouta are out fishing, while I'm wearing a helmet, to prevent myself from drowning." -Poofesure

 

[BakaRina]

"Here’s what I wonder about zombies. What happens if they can’t get any living flesh to eat? They can’t starve to death, they’re already dead."
"You take this one. I spent an hour last night on ‘how do vampires shave when they can’t see themselves in the mirror?'"
"Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. Case closed."

 

[Midoriya]

"Alright, here. This is your mission."

"No, this is an ENVELOPE."

"NO, THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!"

*Spartan man pops out of the envelope and a Sparta remix ensues*

 

[BakaRina]

"I have a bad feeling about this..."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?"
"No?"
"That actually explains so much."

 

[junebuggy.99]

*slow, sensual voice* "the remote... control."
Poofesure: *laughs*
"Hold the Form Baton straight, with the tip pointing forward"
Poofesure: *dies laughing*

 

[Midoriya]

"You should be careful, boss. I heard they got a new five star. She's pretty strong too. Her name is Hu Tao."

"Who?"

"Tao. Yeah."

 

[-Mars-]

"You know Pit I'm getting kind of... *smacks lips* [evil voice] HUNGRY"
*Pit Screams*
- A dumb inside joke from a roleplay

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I'm in kind of a bad mood today." -My look-alike Mii in Tomodachi Life, in literal flames of anger

Spoiler: Picture

"My girlfriend looks like ****." -Poofesure's Mii, singing a song in Tomodachi Life
(I haven't seen that song in the episodes yet, but looking at the lyrics I think he's talking about Jesus)

 

[Midoriya]

"Wow, he's so poised and relaxed. Not a care in the world."

"Yeah."

"You know what this reminds me of?"

"What?"

"The Jamaican jellyfish from Shark Tale, except it's been years and years, and because of plastic pollution in the sea the radio is still playing Bob Marley's 'Everything is Gonna Be Alright' next to their skeletons."