The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Your Local Wild Child]

Go to Evwirt, grab a beehive (they’re everywhere) and squeeze the honey out of the comb!

How do I heal a beesting without medicine?

 

[Clock]

Use plants, but be careful with it
How do I fix a broken car?

 

[Katzenjammer]

You get in the car, think happy thoughts, and make lots of "VROOM VROOM!" noises.
What's the best way to move a piano?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Push it down a set of stairs.

How do I learn a new language?

 

[Midoriya]

Speak gibberish until it resembles something sounding like a new language. Alternatively, you could start speaking the language my friend and I came up with called “JakeStateFarmanese”. The only three words in the language are “Jake,” “State,” and “Farm,” so... have fun with that I guess.

How do I give the worst advice in this thread?

 

[Clock]

Be an internet troll
How do I straighten my hair?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Iron your hair. Now you’re looking hot!

How do I get a pet bird?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Go outside, look around, spot a bird and yell, "Hey, you! C'mere!" It'll come right down and land on your shoulder. Works every time.

How do I learn another language?

 

[frogslime]

Watch hours upon hours of subtitled media from the country of which they speak your language. You should be able to form some sentences...

How do I earn TBT quickest?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Hack into someone else's account on this forum and make a transaction from theirs to your account.

How do I stay warm?

 

[Midoriya]

Jump into the sun.

How do I eat healthy?

 

[Clock]

Eat vegetables everyday
How do I mow the lawn?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Buy a cow and let it loose in your yard.
How do I stop having allergies?

 

[beehumcrossing]

You don’t.

How do I get rich?

 

[Katzenjammer]

Click here now to get rich fast!

How do I work this?

 

[Midoriya]

Well, it depends. The this you’re talking about could be anything. It could be this, or that, or that over there, even those. But if it‘s not any of this, that, or those, perhaps it’s these. To work it you must work it work it out! Don’t stop working it until you find this, that, those, or these. If it’s not ANY of those, then perhaps it’s those over there. Or that right here. Or even this mixed with that. The combinations are endless! So many ways it could end. Kind of like the Stanley Parable. In case you‘re wondering, yes, I did just waste five to ten minutes of my life writing this.

How do I write short stories?

 

[Clock]

Write in only small sentences and short paragraphs
How do I avoid shark attacks?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Give the sharks a peace offering: the smellier the better!

How do I get used to the darkness of the forest?

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

Sleep with a very bright flashlight in your face.

How do I beat a Pokemon game?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

with a baseball bat

How do I not be lonely?