The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Millysaurusrexjr]

The real superpower is friendship. Just smile at people, and say "hello", then they will be your friend

Speaking about super, what do I do about the hardened mass of superglue that is stuck to my desk?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Paint it. You’ve got 10 million dollars art now!

Where’s the best place to sleep in the woods? I lost my hammock :/

 

[Ciary]

well, anywhere on the floor is definitely unsafe. you'd get eaten by a murder of deer. So I would just look for a tall tree and sleep on one of the upper branches. also don't bring rope. the deer will use it to climb up and get you!

how do I get rid of a deer?

 

[pipty]

Time travel ma friend. The deer will ask to move out

What's the best weapon in a zombie apocalypse?

 

[Ciary]

A nuclear warhead. you make it explode and it turns everything in its proximity into dust. including you and everyone you care about! that way you don't have to worry about becoming a zombie and possibly infecting your friends

no for reals though.
What is actually the best weapon in a zombie apocalypse?!

 

[Clock]

Flamethrower, its essential as it can roast zombies to crisp.
How do I stop this guy from blocking the parking lot?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Don’t bother removing him-assert your dominance and block HIM.

Soo...I did sleep on the forest floor. The murder of deer didn’t get me but my back kinda hurts now. Any remedies?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

Pour hot lava on your back! let it sit for an hour and no more pain!

How do I talk to my villagers

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Scream hello at them!

I need directions to Mako Mart now

 

[StarParty8]

Just wait 12 hours until it arrives on the map, and then camp there until it's not in the map anymore and the store opens. (Why would it be open during a turf war?)

The demon of power just got Princess of Wisdom. Meanwhile i am in a cave with an old man giving me a sword. hyruleian for "Not suspicious at alll, old person!"

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

I guess it’s time to throw down

How do I convince a room of people that pineapple on pizza is acceptable?

 

[StarParty8]

Show a pic of bob eating pineapple on pizza.
Everybody loves bob, so it should work.

My axe broke but i don't have a shovel, crafting on the friend's island, or nook miles to rescue myself. The island was like the may day maze btw.

 

[Clock]

Eat fruit, you can lift stuff like crazy if you do it.
How do I fix a broken window?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Duct tape. It’ll work like new!

so, my hammock got taken. What’s a good replacement?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

Spider webs with spiders! Poisonous ones work better!

How do I paint Hopkins

 

[ProbablyNotJosuke]

Spider webs with spiders! Poisonous ones work better!

How do I paint Hopkins

Reach into your tv and yank out Hopkins
Next slap him against a piece of paper and done

How do i stop eating candy

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Eat some more. Eventually, you’ll get sick of it and never eat them ever again.

Someone just stole my car! Help!

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

I will as soon as the car starts driving into the woods I’m stuck in! I hope for ya that it’s an all terrain vehicle, Evwirt is really hilly.

how can I get out of Mako Mart?

 

[Ananas Dragon]

Ask a stranger with a knife for help!

How do I sleep?

 

[Clock]

Well there are many ways to sleep.
Just count, that's it.

How do I find something in a store?