Rockthemike13's and RedVelvetRabbit's Super Helpful Hotline!!!™ REDUCED RATES!
- Thread starter rockthemike13
- Start date
Aradai
SHIFT IN YOU AND I
They aren't active in this thread any longer. Go consult another person.
Stevey Queen
The Queen of Mimosas
Wow. They ignored my problem...
I want a refund
I want a refund
rockthemike13
Senior Member
Hang tight my friend, I swear we've forgotten about none of you! We are having technical difficulties at the office, and our legal rat has passed away recently
We are remodeling, refurbishing, and will be back bigger and better! We just need a small period of time for mourning and technology recovery.As Baller has requested an expedited response, we will get on it, expect a reply soon!
Last edited:
rockthemike13
Senior Member
All right guys, getting back on track here.
First, a very somber note. Twitch, our legal columnist and adviser sorrowfully passed away just recently.
A few words.
Twitch! MY LITTLE BUDDY! MY LITTLE BIDDLE GUY! How I miss you. Your time with us was soooo short. It's not FAIR!
Here is a picture of his final resting place, right alongside his buddy, his mentor, his true pal Gibbons.
But with every big billowing dark cloud, there is a silver lining. I would like to introduce to you Twitch's replacement. Please put your hands, feet, paws, whatever together for Snow White.
She's the paragon of beauty, the epitome of grace, the perfect being of female charm. We are happy to have her here, so we shall have her answer the first question in our backlog of questions.
Errr, well this is embarassing. $10,000 in training and no body showed her how to use a keyboard. I guess with Vel out working and Kyo taking a catnap, that leaves me to answer your question, how lucky for you.
First off, I can't speculate about this "fat" problem you're having. But I am going to assume it's not glandular, and it's some thing that's a direct result of too much food and too little exercise.
Fat is a difficult issue to confront my friend! You've put me in a tough spot, having to tell you that laziness is a horrendous problem I think all of us are consumed by on occasion. I live the life of a fat person, I eat junk, I play a lot of video games, I work lazily, so who be it me to say that to stop being fat, you need to jump up and do more?
But that's unfortunately the only advice I can give you. Start eating lettuce, stop drinking grease, get off the couch and start running and bike riding. The initial push will be incredibly tough, but once you dedicate yourself to the issue, I can guarantee (unless it is some glandular problem) that the fat will go away.
As for being lonely, I can tell you how to make friends. First off, people like out going people who do not take themselves seriously at all. Make fun of yourself, and laugh when people make fun of you (assist them in making fun of you). People don't like to be around folks who are down and out. They want to be around energetic, happy, lively people. If you can't be that way, then you're most likely an introvert, however, introverts typically don't feel lonely.
I'll give you an easy pass here- If you ever want to hang with my wife, Kyo and I, we're a lively bunch. We'd like to play video games with you, chat with you, hang out and watch stupid cartoons with you. I guess that's the best I can do!
Now I guess I'll skip around here, I notice there are a couple more unanswered questions, but Baller has requested an escalation in response time. Sheesh, it aint easy running things around here! Velvet made sure things got corporate awfully fast.
Ah hem. Uhm.
I guess I have a couple questions here. First off, how old are you? Second, how old are the girls? I want to help you, honestly, but I'm not sure any body here knows any thing (or wants to know any thing) about picking up twelve year old girls (evidently the kind that like Justin Bieber?).
Uh, I need to think about this one.......
* RUNS *
First, a very somber note. Twitch, our legal columnist and adviser sorrowfully passed away just recently.
A few words.
Twitch! MY LITTLE BUDDY! MY LITTLE BIDDLE GUY! How I miss you. Your time with us was soooo short. It's not FAIR!
Here is a picture of his final resting place, right alongside his buddy, his mentor, his true pal Gibbons.
But with every big billowing dark cloud, there is a silver lining. I would like to introduce to you Twitch's replacement. Please put your hands, feet, paws, whatever together for Snow White.
She's the paragon of beauty, the epitome of grace, the perfect being of female charm. We are happy to have her here, so we shall have her answer the first question in our backlog of questions.
kfkgjnenfdjvnjdifjeuhgnjvdndjkfnbnjfjnndueutnrtjngdjksdgndjfnjdfnvbhbfgLoveMcQueen said:
Errr, well this is embarassing. $10,000 in training and no body showed her how to use a keyboard. I guess with Vel out working and Kyo taking a catnap, that leaves me to answer your question, how lucky for you.
First off, I can't speculate about this "fat" problem you're having. But I am going to assume it's not glandular, and it's some thing that's a direct result of too much food and too little exercise.
Fat is a difficult issue to confront my friend! You've put me in a tough spot, having to tell you that laziness is a horrendous problem I think all of us are consumed by on occasion. I live the life of a fat person, I eat junk, I play a lot of video games, I work lazily, so who be it me to say that to stop being fat, you need to jump up and do more?
But that's unfortunately the only advice I can give you. Start eating lettuce, stop drinking grease, get off the couch and start running and bike riding. The initial push will be incredibly tough, but once you dedicate yourself to the issue, I can guarantee (unless it is some glandular problem) that the fat will go away.
As for being lonely, I can tell you how to make friends. First off, people like out going people who do not take themselves seriously at all. Make fun of yourself, and laugh when people make fun of you (assist them in making fun of you). People don't like to be around folks who are down and out. They want to be around energetic, happy, lively people. If you can't be that way, then you're most likely an introvert, however, introverts typically don't feel lonely.
I'll give you an easy pass here- If you ever want to hang with my wife, Kyo and I, we're a lively bunch. We'd like to play video games with you, chat with you, hang out and watch stupid cartoons with you. I guess that's the best I can do!
Now I guess I'll skip around here, I notice there are a couple more unanswered questions, but Baller has requested an escalation in response time. Sheesh, it aint easy running things around here! Velvet made sure things got corporate awfully fast.
Baller said:
Ah hem. Uhm.
I guess I have a couple questions here. First off, how old are you? Second, how old are the girls? I want to help you, honestly, but I'm not sure any body here knows any thing (or wants to know any thing) about picking up twelve year old girls (evidently the kind that like Justin Bieber?).
Uh, I need to think about this one.......
* RUNS *
Songbird
Mayor Mia of Museum
(Revived) I know, right?
rockthemike13
Senior Member
Ok, first off I answered his question!
Second, I've got horrible news, that has lead to what must be the inevitable end of our short lived hotline (disclaimer: permanent status not yet determined).
Vel has found better things to do with her time, so she refuses to answer any questions.
Kyo has gotten so fat, he actually has a small orbit of dust mites and bread crumbs circling his flubberish gullets. I'm not sure he can even get out of his cat bed any more, let alone answer questions.
And as for me, well. I just can't seem to answer cat related questions. But if you want, I can do a tad bit of research for you my friend.
Believe it or not, when I first met Kyo, he did nearly the same exact thing to me. He would lay RIGHT by my head and needle his claw into my forehead. Several nights I've spent cussing and shouting at my wife to stop digging her finger nails into my skull, only to find out it's her obese cat, Kyo.
Here's why Kyo did this to me. He needs to assert his dominance. He knew I wasn't taking him seriously. I didn't feed him when he yowled, I didn't pet him when he kneaded next to me, I wouldn't give him treats. The abuse continued for months, until I finally just started giving Kyo whatever he wants.
As soon as I pined for Kyo's presence and attention, he ditched me. What you need to do, is let your cat assert it's dominance over you. Become the cat's slave, as intended, and she will no longer dig her claws into your face or try to suffocate you with globs of cat lard.
