I'm terrified to practice driving again after a bad lesson.

[Kissyme100]

Hi there Guys! I apologize in advance for any grammar errors. I also wasn't sure if there's a rule is about using foul language (that was really said) so I just tried to censor some parts of what happened. I don't want to offend anyone.
I'm a 18 year old girl and currently only have my G1 permit but I'm currently taking driving lessons with my dad. The lessons have been pretty good except for one. I didn't crash or anything but I kept making mistakes like stopping before turning or pushing the gas when I should have my foot off it (I was scared I was going to stop mid turn.)
My dad ended up yelling at me....a lot. He would yell stuff like: "what the F-word are you doing?!" or "You're driving like a Slur against mentally challenged people "

I was already nervous about getting behind the wheel but the yelling only make things worse. I burst into tears and pulled over. I told him multiple times that I just wanted to go home but he just yelled at me that we weren't going home until I got it right and that this is just tough love. So, I kept driving while bawling my eyes out and trying to not hyperventilate. I've been scared to practice driving ever since then. I keep thinking back to what he was saying and it makes me get upset all over again. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt or kill someone because of my bad driving. I just want my dad to be proud of me.

Anyways, he's taking me out to drive again today after school and I'm freaking out. What if he starts yelling at me again? How should I handle it? I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking things but I'm really worried. Any advice about how to handle my nerves while behind the wheel or when getting yelled at would be greatly appreciated.

P.s I should also add that my dad is normally NEVER like this! We normally get along great, never get into fights or anything like that. I've always been a daddy's girl and that's why I think having him yell at me like that hurts so much.

 

[Mellyjan3]

Well first of all, you need to tell your dad that its not good to drive with someone who's being kinda hostile. I'm not low balling your dad but it never helped anyone learn by yelling. I feel your pain though, I have ptsd from my sister's severe car wreck that took up most of my childhood taking care of her, so I'm 20 years old and still don't have a license. My dad is quite different though lol he's a pansy and grabs onto his seat and gets scared and panicky when I drive haha. He used to yell but I told him that wasn't helping me much so he's a lot calmer now.

 

[glow]

tell him to act like a teacher and be professional. otherwise suggest him to either ask another family to teach you or to pay for driving lessons because the fact that he's putting so much pressure and stress on you is only hindering your ability to relax and concentrate. you're still learning. I've done some really stupid things while learning how to drive like trying to turn into one-way streets going the wrong direction, backing up into a sign, swerving on the freeway, not knowing who's turn it was at an intersection, etc.

me and my dad actually got into fights too where I would just get really defensive or cry cause I hate not being able to do things. if it gets to that point just try to keep calm and say "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to". don't argue back like I tended to do.

but don't get frustrated to the point where you wanna give up: I was HORRIBLE when I was learning but now I'm a pretty good driver. I've been driving for about four years and I've never been in a traffic collision or gotten a ticket. I still have my first car which is my literal baby. so just keep practicing, that's the only way you're gonna get better. and trust me you'll get better. it took me like a month until I was mostly comfortable with everything.

 

[Invisible again]

Wow, sorry to hear that... I'm also learning how to drive, and I do get nervous driving with others around.. But, it helps to drive on the backstreets instead of main roads with a high speed limit. It's easier for me when I'm driving on a quiet street with hardly no one around, so that might help you as well. Also, do talk to your dad about his road rage and how it's affecting you. I know I wouldn't want to be yelled at for trying to learn something useful, and yelling at someone never makes any progress... Hope this sort of helps.

 

[Tao]

I would just get lessons from somebody else, like another family member or a professional driving instructor...Somebody who's not going to shout insults at you and increase the chance of you making mistakes.

 

[Kissyme100]

I talked to my mom and I'm going to try practicing with her tomorrow. Hopefully, it goes better.

 

[Trent the Paladin]

I talked to my mom and I'm going to try practicing with her tomorrow. Hopefully, it goes better.

Good luck! Hopefully it goes better, my mom used to do this thing (Still kinda does honestly) where she'd freak if she saw a car like way ahead break where'd she just grasp everything and it'd freak me out because I thought I hadn't noticed a car or kid or something. Told her if she was going to do that every time a car breaked I'd prefer she'd stay home or to actually trust me like she claimed to.

 

[cornimer]

I know what you're going through, I also have my G1 and sometimes when I practice my mom she starts yelling. I only need to make the smallest make for her to completely lose it and start screaming orders and things like "WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH YOU". At first it very much bothered me and I would break into tears like you did. However, the more that it happened, I realized that it's not necessarily a reflection on my driving, it's just that my mom is nervous about not having control over the car and is unable to control these nerves. I'm sure it's the same kind of thing with your dad, especially because you said the two of you are usually very close. He is probably afraid of something bad happening and thus freaked out and you when you made a mistake, not necessarily because he was angry at you but because he was afraid.

Besides this, all I can say is to maybe try driving with your mom, or taking lessons from a driving school. If you end up getting a bad instructor don't be afraid to ask the company if you can switch. I disliked my instructor from early on but tried to stick it out, he only got worse and has not helped my nerves or my driving at all. But there are plenty of lovely driving instructors out there, you just have to find the right one. Best of luck!

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

I didn't get my license until I was a month from turning 20, and only then because my mom forced me. The only thing that helped me was being made to drive. I wouldn't get over that fear if someone hadn't thrown me in.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

honestly, most parents make the worst driving instructors, at least in my experience. The best way to learn is probably from a real instructor or a good friend, maybe even a friend's parent? Honestly, I've only ever driven twice in my life, I am 22 years old. Once was with my mom which was super stressful because she was freaking out the whole time, the other time was with her ex boyfriend who was just a huge jerk and was yelling at me the whole time. Honestly, just trying to drive or thinking about driving gives me severe anxiety, so having someone there freaking out or yelling just made it like 100x harder for me... Literally even sitting her typing about it my heart is speeding up...

 

[Kissyme100]

My dad keeps insisting to take me driving again. How do I tell him I would rather have my mom teach me?

 

[Naekoya]

My dad keeps insisting to take me driving again. How do I tell him I would rather have my mom teach me?

rather than having a family member teach you driving sign up for a driving class which is much better believe me. I had my dad taught me once and it was more nerve wrecking than with an actual instructor. Least they wouldn't get frustrated or get angry with you for making mistakes.. also another safe fact is that the driving school cars have emergency brake system on the passenger side for the instructor to use just in case you make a mistake whatnot etc... c:
and don't stress yourself too much about it.. most of us went through that before
once you get the hang of it you'll feel much at ease when it comes to driving ~ good luck!

 

[promised freedom]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, I really hope you're back on normal terms with your dad now! Personally, I didn't start driving until I was 21 and it's still not something I really enjoy - I have very mixed feelings surrounding it from a severe car wreck when I was a kid. So just take your time and get comfortable; my friend's mom didn't learn until she was 34 and had a baby, everyone goes at a different pace, you know?

Anyway, I second everyone who suggested an outside driving instructor. Some DMVs will have free or very cheap lessons, so it's worth it to call and check on that first. I took lessons with a private instructor since my town didn't have anything at the DMV at the time and it wasn't too expensive for the amount I did, plus it was a lot easier than learning with my parents.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll end up doing great!!

 

[simonthomas6]

I would definitely tell him that you would rather drive with mom instead, having somebody yell in your face at a couple mistakes is never going to help. You no what I hate so fricken bad though? in my state you haft to be 16 with a drivers license to drive a damn moped which I hate cuz my family has one. im 16 and only have a permit for now. And i've driven a moped in a parking lot before and I can definitely say that it's a hell ton easier than a car, seriously who would make a law where you haft to be 16 with a driver's license to drive a damn moped ughhhh. Keep in mind their is states like Iowa where you only have to be 14 with a permit to drive a moped ,F*** my state laws.

 

[Christy.lee1989]

I also had a bad experience when i was learning. First off i didnt have a whole lot of help, everyone said they would help me learn but never did, and i had only been used to driving on back roads, never a main road. So, i babysit, and one of the ladies i babysat for, known her for years, used to babysit for her sister, she said she would take me out driving. So i was happy i would get experience, i didnt even get out of park before things started going wrong.

She asked me where the...... Oh u know the button u press when u want to go on the side of the road and stop where all your lights blink?(yeah i know a lot about cars....) anyways, asked me where that was at and i pointed to it. She said press it, i said it works fine but i dont like pressing it cause its hard to get off when i do, she sayd it will be fine and pressed it herself......AND IT WOULDNT GO BACK OFF!!! I was so nervous that it would run my battery down cause it wont go off, wondering what if we cant get it to go off, i know weird but oh well. I cant tell how long it was but we finally got it of and out on the back road we started.

Then she told me to go on a somewhat main road, i told her i have never been here before and was still kinda nervous and dont feel comfortable doing it but she said i have to, so i did and iwas so nervous. When u are going around a turn or curve, i was doing like i always have, press breaks lightly so i dont end up going over speed imit, i see people always doing this, she tells me no hunny, i arent suposed to do that, these curves ar here to make u go faster, if anything press the gas and speed up....? I said i dnt want to get a speeding ticket, she says u wont if a cop dont see u. Then she makes me go on the main road and i was soo shakey, and i know i made mistakes but i cant really tell u what all happened cause i honestly was too nervous to remember, but she made me drive so long to a place i wasnt farmilliar with, which was worse, on a main road which was scarry to me. Then when i went home my mom told me to take my blood pressure and it was like 170 something over 121, very high! Never went back out with her.

What i did was one of my elderly neighbors asked me if it was ok for her to teach me, because i was about 21 with no license (here u can get it at 16, which most everyone does) i told her about my last experience and she says she promises she wont take me wher im not comfortable with, and driving with her was amazing. She helped me out soo much more than anyone and i ended up getting them about 4-5 months later.

 

[Chicha]

I completely agree getting a driving instructor would help so much. Like seriously, it makes a HUGE difference having a neutral party showing you to drive since family members can get too emotional/stressful. My first experience driving was extremely stressful. It started off okay with learning the basics at an empty parking until I was told to drive us back home in rush hour traffic. 0/10, would never recommend. Luckily, I got us home safe but I was terrified out of my mind. I don't know why parents insist on doing really unreasonable & dangerous things for new drivers honestly. I eventually told my parents it was too stressful having them "teach" me so I ended up paying an instructor. From there, it was pretty much smooth sailing. It made such a difference. My instructor was sweet and patient and had those emergency brake cars in case I made a mistake which eased my fear.

Nowadays, I love driving. Ironically, it calms me a lot since I get to listen to any music I want and go about my day in peace.

 

[Mr. Cat]

I have no idea what to tell you other than that both my parents did the same thing-- yelled at me for my mistakes. It took me 2 years of actually having a permit to learn to drive because I wouldn't. Then I wanted a job out of walking distance so badly that I pursued it so hard, even with the yelling. Idk, I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[King Dorado]

doesnt your high school have a drivers ed class?? mine had a road course with obstacle cones and everything, they supplied the cars too...

 

[mitzi_crossing]

I'm sorry about your dad being so mean. If you really would prefer your mom to drive with you then I would just straight up say it to him.

When I was practicing for my g2 (so doing things like driving on one way streets, paralell parking, etc) my parents made me take driving tests with a family friend of theirs who is also a certified drivers ed instructor. Let me tell you, this guy is mean with a capital M. He scared me to the point where I would stop and cry just like you mentioned you did. He was a definite yeller and would make me feel bad if I made a mistake (which there were plenty) but with his strict rules that taught me..I passed the test on the first go with flying colors. I believe that a little strictness and harshness can help at the end of the day. It builds you a backbone and thick skin when it comes to driving and the road. Now by all means, if you feel super uncomfortable and uneasy with your dad then definitely do something about it. I just thought I would share my experience and give my 2 cents

Good luck!