I’ve been curious about this for years! So I’ve been a member of TBT since 2014 and have participated in a lot of big events, gone through periods of regular activity, etc., but I’ve never even come close to “making a friend” on here. This is not at all a woe-is-me post, I just find it genuinely fascinating that so many people are able to use this site as a means to form personal connections.
I was interested/baffled back in my Tumblr days as well, as so many people would talk about their “mutuals” and would have personal interactions with people they’d met on the site, whereas I was using it to…..post GIFs and images and text about stuff I liked.
In real life, let’s say at my library job, there are sometimes frameworks for getting to know people better. You’ll be on the same desk for a bit or have to solve a problem together and that’s where you ask about their day or discuss a movie or something. I don’t think I really understand what the online equivalent would be! It’s like “post cute photos from my animal crossing town” —> ?????? —> “bestie I sold my collectibles to buy your dream star wand” and I literally cannot picture what would go in the ????? zone, haha. Unprompted PMs? Profile comments?
Once again want to be very clear that this isn’t a complaint post—I love TBT and have had nothing but good experiences here with events, trading, etc. I just like knowing how brains work and the psychology and practice of friendships in online spaces has intrigued—and eluded—me for years. If you’ve made a friend here or in another online space, how did you do it? Did it happen slowly through normal use of the space or did you set out to befriend the person?
I was interested/baffled back in my Tumblr days as well, as so many people would talk about their “mutuals” and would have personal interactions with people they’d met on the site, whereas I was using it to…..post GIFs and images and text about stuff I liked.
In real life, let’s say at my library job, there are sometimes frameworks for getting to know people better. You’ll be on the same desk for a bit or have to solve a problem together and that’s where you ask about their day or discuss a movie or something. I don’t think I really understand what the online equivalent would be! It’s like “post cute photos from my animal crossing town” —> ?????? —> “bestie I sold my collectibles to buy your dream star wand” and I literally cannot picture what would go in the ????? zone, haha. Unprompted PMs? Profile comments?
Once again want to be very clear that this isn’t a complaint post—I love TBT and have had nothing but good experiences here with events, trading, etc. I just like knowing how brains work and the psychology and practice of friendships in online spaces has intrigued—and eluded—me for years. If you’ve made a friend here or in another online space, how did you do it? Did it happen slowly through normal use of the space or did you set out to befriend the person?