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Idk how to really help you with that besides keep trying to get the map you want. Or maybe changing your mindset about the game. For instance, I left the game due to personal issues and was hesitant to get back into the game after many years of hiatus. I even thought new beginnings/fresh start = new leaf. While I don't have a desire to restart my two towns due to all the work I put into them, I've renovated them to enjoy NL and make me want to play NL while not having to restart. I would love to get a new copy and start anew, but can't afford it or the time honestly. Idk, hope this helps. I say just keep trying ^.^ I'm sure you'll find a perfect home or one that you can work with.
I'm not entirely sure what to tell you, since I've never deleted my town so I can't really relate to that feeling. I have wanted to delete my town, but I've always stopped myself before I could do it.
Maybe sit down and try and figure out what you want the finished product to look like mostly, before you start to play, and try to find a town map that works with that. Lower your expectations on things, because things will not turn out how you want them to. You think you know the perfect public works project for the perfect space and Isabelle tells you it won't fit there. That's going to happen and that's okay. Instead of giving up and deleting the town because a few things aren't going as planned, work around it.
Or maybe take the first map you see and force yourself to work with it. I was going to delete my town a few months ago, because I hate the map and where I put my mayor's house. But I've been working with it ever since and I'm starting to really love it, most days. I feel accomplished because of what I have done in spite of the layout, rather than because I had a good layout to begin with.
Other than that, is it also possible that maybe you just... don't like the game? Maybe you're more suited for a different game with better customization and control. If you feel negative feelings towards ACNL, you're only going to continue feeling that way if you keep forcing yourself to play. You're only going to stress yourself out and make yourself feel worse about the game, which is only going to make you want to play even less. Whenever I start feeling like ACNL is starting to become boring I start to visit dream towns again, trying to get an idea of what I could do better, or take inspiration in what other people have done.
If you still really want to play and break your funk, then I definitely suggest following my above advise. Plan out some ideas for the finished town, adjust your expectations, realize so little of this game is actually controllable, and always remember, a game you play in your free time should be fun for you, and if it isn't then you probably should do something you'd actually enjoy instead, for yourself.