Ghosting on a trade?

[FelixFraldarius]

Honestly, I can't think of anything more frustrating than a villager trade... Since by the time villagers are in boxes to the time you've got an open plot, the window of time is so small


Btw, Felix is amazing! I love your profile pic!

Yeah, I was waiting for them to get Zucker in boxes and they just... vanished. I'm not that upset honestly. I found Zucker in the end. It was just annoying.

Thank you! Jean is my fave from AOT, so you have good taste too! ​

 

[senbeiiscool]

It's only happened to me once recently.
they were ordering a bulk of items from me and even messaged back a few time to add thing to their order.
And then I never heard back from them again.

I've had a few people ghost me after their first message.
But I find it strange for them to be messaging me for a day or two, asking for updates on their order and when it comes to the time that we both agreed upon they ghost me.
I find it hard to understand, but it only takes 2 minutes to send someone a message explaining that you're sorry but you no longer need the order.

Bulk orders can be so hard. It's really nice to help people with their catalogs and stuff but when they ghost, you just have a lot of extra items that you might not need.

While I've never encountered your 2nd scenario, that is really strange! I hope you were able to work it out though!

 

[roseychuu]

I think what really worries me about this in regards to ordering nook mile ticket items is I'm not a time traveler, so I can't just *zoom* to the next day or something. If I had ordered an item for someone, that's using up nook mile points (which I feel like I'm really slow with earning as well). So if I ordered something for someone and they just decided to ghost me, it would be a hard hit for me.

If this ever happens in the future, please let me know! I'd love to help out in some way, no one should be copped out of their nook miles like that.

 

[senbeiiscool]

Yeah, I was waiting for them to get Zucker in boxes and they just... vanished. I'm not that upset honestly. I found Zucker in the end. It was just annoying.

Thank you! Jean is my fave from AOT, so you have good taste too! ​

Oh good! I'm glad you got Zucker in the end! And thanks! Jean is just my default profile pic for everything hahahaha one day I'll change it

 

[N a t]

Oh don't feel the need to defend yourself time travelling to me. Mairen doesn't mind about that~ I'd like to think I'll someday reach a point where I have lots of spare nook miles and I won't have to worry so much about them.

You're too sweet. I feel like I'm starting to get to that point where I'm caring less and less about them and slowly they're building up, I think you'll definitely get there at your own pace depending on what you typically use your miles for. I used mine for pocket upgrades and stuff as well as villagers. However, most of my villagers are also amiibo I bought so now I don't have much use for the miles and they kinda just add up by playing the game naturally.

 

[Mairen]

You're too sweet. I feel like I'm starting to get to that point where I'm caring less and less about them and slowly they're building up, I think you'll definitely get there at your own pace depending on what you typically use your miles for. I used mine for pocket upgrades and stuff as well as villagers. However, most of my villagers are also amiibo I bought so now I don't have much use for the miles and they kinda just add up by playing the game naturally.

Oh yes! those pocket upgrade costs are cruel! hahaha, but very very necessary, so I just tough it out

 

[roseychuu]

Literally aspiring to have this mindset right now. I'm a naturally fast paced person. I think, talk, and act quickly for the most part. I get impatient with certain things like villagers moving in and out, trading with people, etc. I'm pretty good at not being a turd as a result of being impatient but I'd rather just not be impatient. I did a tiny bit of TTing when moving villagers in and out just because I couldn't enjoy the game thoroughly when I had animals I disliked, but I still feel a wee bit of guilt for doing it (no one made me feel guilty except for myself), so now I don't do that anymore because I want to practice being patient. I'm waiting the full 3 days to move amiibo in, and I never rush anybody in a trade. I'm trying to make sure I don't send too many messages to them when arranging the trades, and another thing I'd like to work on is making my posts much for concise since I've also posted some pretty big text walls haha! Not to sound like a brown-noser but you sound like a great person to connect with!

eep i'm so glad i can give you that impression! ♥ i love discussing things with people! you sound very mindful of yourself and your actions which is always a good thing to have don't worry about all the text you type! everyone expresses their thoughts differently. its okay to time travel in my book personally, but in general its always good to remember that in addition to being mindful its good to be kind to yourself too!

 

[daisyy]

I prefer discord trading for this reason... you know pretty much immediately if someone is available or not, willing to do the trade or not... but I prefer the vetting process on the board and find people are generally nicer and more reasonable too. It’s a trade off, for sure.

 

[Kaiaa]

Best thing to do is make it clear in the thread that if they don’t show up by such and such time that the trade is voided and you move to the next customer. That gives you protection from a negative rating if the person gets mad that you didn’t hold for them. Maybe set a limit of 24 hours to hold and if they can’t make it move on. Sorry to hear this happened to you!!

 

[Jokesie]

Just my two cents, but I'm wondering if those that ghost are afraid of negative feedback? Like if they back out of a deal, its intentional vs "oops I just wasnt online for a few days"

Idk I'm new to this forum and haven't been ghosted on yet so I could be wrong haha

 

[Lilatrix]

That hasn't happened to me. But i can imagine how sucky that is :/ . Though a similar thing I hate is when it takes someone days to respond when I'm trying to buy an item from them... they come back saying something like "Sorry i dont have the item anymore!" which i get but why did it have to take days to respond? lol.

 

[Sanaki]

This is why I never hold villagers or items for people, mainly cause I'm impatient and don't like to wait for things to get traded. I actually haven't really dealt with anyone ghosting me though.

 

[senbeiiscool]

Best thing to do is make it clear in the thread that if they don’t show up by such and such time that the trade is voided and you move to the next customer. That gives you protection from a negative rating if the person gets mad that you didn’t hold for them. Maybe set a limit of 24 hours to hold and if they can’t make it move on. Sorry to hear this happened to you!!

Yup! I totally agree! Unfortunately it still happens even if you make things clear, but luckily the person ghosting me finally got back! Maybe because this post picked up some steam....

Post automatically merged: Apr 17, 2020

Just my two cents, but I'm wondering if those that ghost are afraid of negative feedback? Like if they back out of a deal, its intentional vs "oops I just wasnt online for a few days"

Idk I'm new to this forum and haven't been ghosted on yet so I could be wrong haha

In my books, ghosting is worse than backing out. I'd rather them be honest and say that they don't want my item anymore than ghost. I make it clear in my posts now that any ghosting for longer than 24hrs once a trade has begun will result in negative feedback. Like a lot of people in this thread, we're only angry if we've seen the other user being active on other parts of the forum and just purposefully ignoring you. If someone genuinely wasn't online for a few days because of personal irl reasons, I'd personally be fine with it.

Post automatically merged: Apr 17, 2020

That hasn't happened to me. But i can imagine how sucky that is :/ . Though a similar thing I hate is when it takes someone days to respond when I'm trying to buy an item from them... they come back saying something like "Sorry i dont have the item anymore!" which i get but why did it have to take days to respond? lol.

Wow that's really weird. I don't think I've ever had someone take days to respond, but even so, I agree that it's strange that they waited so long to tell you they didn't have the item? I don't want to paint them in a bad light, but maybe they were waiting for a better offer from someone else?

 

[pochacco]

i’ve had someone offer to sell me marshal and after i did a follow up pm on the offer they never responded :/ a bit bummed out but i try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Aleigh]

This hasn't really happened to me, maybe like once or twice, and I don't think the trade itself was ever really set before they went MIA. But things happen, and I hope none of you have to go through getting your hopes up like that lmao that kinda sucks

 

[Tasuot]

Ok honestly, this happened to me. The user I was supposed to trade with, had advertised Judy like two weeks ago. They were looking for another villager as a trade, and I happened to have said villager so naturally I offered and consequently agreed to trade.

This user tells me that they don't TT (which I totally respect and have no issue with), so I would have to wait for this villager to move out. I was willing to wait for however long it took for Judy to ping, but two weeks go by, and I never hear back from her (not even a single update/reassurance that we would trade). At this point, I'm frustrated because of the lack of communication. I wouldn't say that I'm mad, as I'm sure she's just living her life apart from this site and the game itself. But it just sucks being on the receiving end of it, as in you expect for something to happen as planned, but then it falls through. I'd rather you be honest with me than cower in fear. Like be real with me, I'm sure you wouldn't like feeling this way if the situation was reversed.

With that being said, I didn't want to wait for her, so I decided to go island hopping and THANK GOD I did because after hopping through 35 islands, I managed to find Judy myself with 7 tickets to spare. I can rest easy now haha

This goes to say that not all of my trading experiences have been like this. For the most part, I have met many wonderful users on this site. TBT, thanks for being such a wonderful community. You're all beautiful souls

 

[Xara]

back when new leaf came out, i did a lot of ghosting with trades - in my defence, i was 11 and was a bratty kid. while i haven’t ever been ghosted entirely, i have traded with people who really have no idea how to communicate lmao

 

[Krissi2197]

This happened to me two separate times in the past 3 days. I ordered two expensive items from my catalog as a courtesy to both of these people and when contacted about setting up a time to pick up their items, they don't answer.

It's worse when I see them actively trading in other threads. So I KNOW you saw my message, you're just avoiding me on purpose.

Is it fair to give someone negative feedback for doing this? Cause honestly if it isn't against the rules I feel like putting negative feedback for those who ghost out on trades when you've already spent time and bells getting an item for them is fair. But if it is against the rules I guess I won't do that.

I just keep note of who does this to me and then refuse trades with them in the future. Nothing much else I can do!

 

[coffee biscuit]

I've been ghosted a couple times, but my most recent experience is that I tried buying some flowers from someone on here and we agreed on the amount and price and everything. Opened my gates, gave them the code, waited for 40 minutes but they never showed. They continued to be active on the site and trying to sell their flowers. Disappointing and a waste of time, especially since I had other trades lined up for that evening :/

Anyways, I personally wouldn't give ghosters negative feedback. Maybe neutral depending on the situation, like if they were rude or something. Who knows what people have going on in their lives and honestly leaving bad feedback might be way more trouble than it's worth if they try to retaliate. I feel like negative feedback is more for terrible people who scam or steal from others.

It sucks but it's best to just accept the loss and move on. Just my opinion.

 

[Sanaki]

This basically happened on two accounts to me over a villager. I hadn't experienced it before this.

It's kinda frustrating, since I wasted a lot of time in my day just waiting around for responses so I could be ready. But after about 20 minutes of watching them not respond and continue to browse the forums, I just automatically assume they found a better price or something. Regardless, ended up getting the villager from a nice person anyway so I don't really hold any negative feelings towards it.