Ethics of dm/pm offers

[Xeleron]

I’ve decided to create this thread after a couple of my offers have gone to bust because “another person offered” … what other person? No one else has posted anything about ‘X’ item on this tread *?!*

This is not meant to be a rant but more so, I want to hear your opinions on this topic…. sure, I’ll be the first to admit that being in those situations does make me feel a bit butt hurt, specially ‘cause I’m dirt poor and I have a hard time getting into the stock/turnip market. On the other hand, I’m glad OP got a better offer that they couldn’t refuse (believe me, I get the struggle), but that just blind sides the person making the PUBLIC offer. Personally, I’d much rather have someone counteroffer publicly than them trying to be what? Sneaky? #nohardfeelings for a counteroffer.

What are your thoughts on people doing this? Do you mind? Has this happened to you? If so, how do you react? (Please refrain from saying it’s just a game, I’m fully aware of this, it’s not like I ‘cry or get angry’ over it, it’s just disappointing and imho raises some ethical questions)

Why do you think people do this? (If you’ve done it and don’t want to comment on it, I understand, just send me a dm *JK * how ironic would that be lol)

PS. I have a newfound appreciation to the people that either state that they “will or won’t be taking private offers” <3

Also, #nohardfeelings to the people who have cancelled my offers this way, like I said, I know the struggle. I just want to hear other people’s opinion!

 

[seularin]

i feel u :c
i always get frustrated when my offer gets shut down
imo, i like having people make offers on the thread itself so i wouldn't have any high expectations when i make my offer only to see that someone has something better

 

[Cnydaquil]

aww thats never happened to me! sorry that happed to you! and youre right its totally unfair!

 

[Munyo]

I only PM when I notice that someone's taking a break, and I don't want to bump their thread. x: I don't think I've ever took away someone's chance at an item before. I think it might escape people's minds to not offer by PM since it's not listed as a rule on the thread or the forum.

 

[Blueskyy]

I only PM when I notice that someone's taking a break, and I don't want to bump their thread. x: I don't think I've ever took away someone's chance at an item before. I think it might escape people's minds to not offer by PM since it's not listed as a rule on the thread or the forum.

I agree it could be reminded better that offers can be made through PM. Many people also post offers on here and on other forums too. I usually won’t go with the best offer if I already am in deep with someone else. I am only viewing this through a villager selling lense. I don’t do much else.

 

[Briar]

Honestly, I don't really like it when people just DM/PM offers/requests to visit an island instead of commenting either. If the OP says that people can do either, then the people who PM/DM obviously aren't in the wrong of course, but I always like to post publicly as a courtesy to other people who may also wish to make an offer. Letting those people see my offer can prevent them from having to offer, being told by the OP that they already have a higher offer, and then having to make a new offer.

It's the reason that I always tell people to comment when I'm selling things or opening my island for something. I want everyone to be able to easily know what offers have been made or how many people are ahead of them.

 

[0orchid]

I haven't had this happen to me or done it to someone myself but I would say it's better than ghosting someone on a trade. I'm guessing this is probably one of the main reasons people ghost in trades without explanation. I wouldn't mind someone being direct and telling me they got a better offer personally. I can see why it would be irritating though especially since you don't know what the other offer is so you couldn't raise your offer as easily if you wanted to.

 

[brockbrock]

I hear you. I agree it can feel a bit like a jab and it's easy to feel burned by the person who got what you were trying to get (if you know who it was). I'm not a fan of PM offers if it's at the expense of someone who has publicly already offered. I kept being outbid or swiped by PM offers when I was looking for a few collectibles and it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I tried doing it myself once out of desperation but was ignored, so it was a sign that I shouldn't try, not to mention it didn't feel good. It's just a silly collectible, anyways. There's always next time (and keeping a positive attitude with patience usually works out in the end, which it did for me).

I wouldn't sell anything to anyone without them posting it publicly if other people were interested and/or actively asking about said item. I guess I don't have as much of a problem if there was no other interest or if a lot of time had passed, but I do think it's pretty inconsiderate and rude of someone to PM just to undercut others. For me personally, if I'm already bartering/in communication with someone over an item, villager or whatever item but got a better offer, I would pass on the better offer (me speaking as the seller). It just feels like the etiquette greatly outweighs the gain. I prefer to just give things away, anyways.

And if I'm the buyer and interested in an item but see someone before me has already offered or inquired about it, I just move on until the next time out of respect.

 

[miraxe]

It's super annoying as a seller, too. I wouldn't mind a site-wide rule against the practice, to be honest. When you get a DM/PM offer, especially on a hot item or when you're only selling a few things, now you have to tell everyone else that the item has already been offered on by a mystery buyer in your DMs. It's annoying for future traders, too, because now they won't have a price to reference. Even when you try to ask the person to post in your thread, 9/10 times you get some reply like, "But I'm already messaging you! Isn't this easier?" Nope.

I know the ACTrade subreddit used to have a rule against private message offers (not sure if they still do, but I always ignore the private message offers on Reddit anyway), and it was nice to have everything public and viewable by all.

 

[Mello]

If I get a private offer, I post it in my thread so everyone else sees what was offered. Private offers in itself aren't bad, but accepting a private offer without even giving the others who publicly offered a heads up or chance is pretty dirty imo.

 

[dragonair]

It more annoys me when it's on an auction as that's against TBT's rules. It's also a little suspicious to me? Maybe I'm a lil untrusting, but if I wanted a high offer on something it'd be v easy to say "This person made a higher offer through DM!" even when I have no offers at all.

 

[Xara]

i feel you, bro. that’s why i’m always a lil hesitant with selling threads or shops that don’t decline pm offers as they can really come through and ninja you ;u;

 

[moonolotl]

I'm pretty sure on auctions its actually against the rules to bid privately.
If i run an auction i always tell the person PMing me to go to the auction and bid, rather than only telling me their offer. If they desperately want to stay anonymous then I reply for them

 

[John Wick]

I always offer via PM.

Haggling in a thread where everyone can see feels tacky.

 

[Aliya]

I understand how you feel! At least this can't happen for auctions which would be super shady. I personally don't take PM offers for my shop or anything. I prefer to have everything public since it protects both me and the other user by stating what is being traded.

Anyone could lie and make up offers to get a higher offer from you and that's just not cool. I just back out at that point.

 

[senbeiiscool]

I actually hate PM offers so much. I haven't sold stuff in a while but I hate when I get a stray PM when I'm trying to deal with others before them. I've opted to telling people not to PM me, especially for things I was only planning on selling to 1 person and not another. For example, I responded to someone wanting to buy sakura petals and I said I had a bunch. While waiting for the OP of the post to get back to me, I got 3 or 4 PMs asking to buy my petals instead of selling to OP. Needless to say after the last one, I had to edit my post and in caps write not to PM me or I won't be selling any.

As for PM bids on auctions, I don't really mind as long as the bid offer is posted on the public thread so others can bid on the current price. Although it's super strange to me that people wouldn't want to just publicly post their bid?

 

[Annika.]

I think this is very rude. I made a couple of buying threads and got some people offering me a better deal privately through pms, but I politely declined them because I already committed to another trade.

 

[spawnpoint]

You're not even supposed to make dm/pm offers, I got a warning for it.. :/

 

[Feferily]

I've started putting that I want offers and things in thread only partly because I dont like the idea of disappointing others. Also helps organize offers and sells.

 

[kojuuro]

I personally think it's pretty rude too. Like, if someone PM'd you a certain offer and you don't have it on your thread how am I supposed to know what to bid or offer? I don't like it when people PM me an offer either since I'm usually dealing with other things at the same time and it side tracks me. I haven't done a large trade in a while, but I opt to just put in my post not to PM me cause it annoys me so much and people think if they PM me they can just skip ahead of other people.